Re: [Closed] For the Lark
Posted: Tue Feb 11, 2020 12:39 am
"I know what an engineer is," she wanted to say. "I just don't know the details of how one gets to become one." She held her tongue though; this wasn't the time or place for her strange sense of wounded ego. It wasn't unfair to think that she didn't know--she thought it was possible a great many of her fellow scraps in Brunnhold didn't know such things. Because they didn't want to. There was a sense in that, closing your eyes and ears to the things all around you that aren't meant for you. Aurelie just couldn't help but listen. She always listened; it was easy to do when nobody thought you had ears to hear anything.
But he hadn't meant it that way, and she knew he hadn't, so she held her tongue and ignored the stab at her ego. Even though it was hard, sometimes.
He kept talking and Aurelie forgot even that much, listening. So there were things denied to them after all. Even in Mugroba, which seemed so much different than here. She had thought so, when she'd... When she'd gotten angry, last year. A part of her had hoped it would be a kind of terrible comfort, to know she was right. She was mostly just a little sad, instead. So different but--but still, they were lacking something, and it closed all kinds of doors. Different ones, that was all.
The way Aremu spoke about machines sounded just a bit like the way she thought of baking. Patterns, things that either worked or didn't. She could see the appeal in that, she thought. Aurelie also liked things that were--not easy to understand, but straightforward in their own way. Practical problems with practical solutions. She had no head for machines, and didn't think that this would have been any different for any version of herself, but she thought she could understand that much. Aremu smiled and she smiled back, suddenly glad she'd asked.
"That's so useful!" The exclamation tumbled out of her before she could stop it. Aurelie's fingers twitched; her hand wanted to clap over her mouth. That wasn't something she should have said. Or maybe she should have considered it longer, at least. When Aremu set his right hand--the wooden one, she remembered from yesterday, in her line of sight it wasn't that she hadn't noticed. She wasn't blind. And she was curious, because he said he was an engineer and worked with machines. Aurelie imagined you generally wanted both hands for that. At least she wasn't so far gone as to feel the need to ask anything more untoward about it. Still--that did sound useful. Not the same but--but that was clever. Hopefully her stupid little outburst hadn't been too terribly much. She would hate to have offended him already. She had wanted at least a little more time before her foot went entirely in her mouth, ideally.
There was something else he was saying, she could hear it. She just didn't know what it was. No wonder he thought she wouldn't have known what an engineer was. She frowned, although she wasn't upset really. Just thinking.
"Why do you say that, about... about lying? You don't. Er, forgive me for saying something quite possibly very silly, but you seem--not the lying type." Not like me, she didn't add, who doesn't lie because I'm simply terrible at it. There was just a careful way in which he said things; Uzoji had been similar. She didn't see the connection, between stars and machines and lying and fields. Was she dodging trying to understand what he had said? Maybe. If she asked directly, the answer might be equally hard for her to follow.
But he hadn't meant it that way, and she knew he hadn't, so she held her tongue and ignored the stab at her ego. Even though it was hard, sometimes.
He kept talking and Aurelie forgot even that much, listening. So there were things denied to them after all. Even in Mugroba, which seemed so much different than here. She had thought so, when she'd... When she'd gotten angry, last year. A part of her had hoped it would be a kind of terrible comfort, to know she was right. She was mostly just a little sad, instead. So different but--but still, they were lacking something, and it closed all kinds of doors. Different ones, that was all.
The way Aremu spoke about machines sounded just a bit like the way she thought of baking. Patterns, things that either worked or didn't. She could see the appeal in that, she thought. Aurelie also liked things that were--not easy to understand, but straightforward in their own way. Practical problems with practical solutions. She had no head for machines, and didn't think that this would have been any different for any version of herself, but she thought she could understand that much. Aremu smiled and she smiled back, suddenly glad she'd asked.
"That's so useful!" The exclamation tumbled out of her before she could stop it. Aurelie's fingers twitched; her hand wanted to clap over her mouth. That wasn't something she should have said. Or maybe she should have considered it longer, at least. When Aremu set his right hand--the wooden one, she remembered from yesterday, in her line of sight it wasn't that she hadn't noticed. She wasn't blind. And she was curious, because he said he was an engineer and worked with machines. Aurelie imagined you generally wanted both hands for that. At least she wasn't so far gone as to feel the need to ask anything more untoward about it. Still--that did sound useful. Not the same but--but that was clever. Hopefully her stupid little outburst hadn't been too terribly much. She would hate to have offended him already. She had wanted at least a little more time before her foot went entirely in her mouth, ideally.
There was something else he was saying, she could hear it. She just didn't know what it was. No wonder he thought she wouldn't have known what an engineer was. She frowned, although she wasn't upset really. Just thinking.
"Why do you say that, about... about lying? You don't. Er, forgive me for saying something quite possibly very silly, but you seem--not the lying type." Not like me, she didn't add, who doesn't lie because I'm simply terrible at it. There was just a careful way in which he said things; Uzoji had been similar. She didn't see the connection, between stars and machines and lying and fields. Was she dodging trying to understand what he had said? Maybe. If she asked directly, the answer might be equally hard for her to follow.