[Solo] Rites of Passage

When your almost-400 year old mother wants to have a chat, she's probably not messing around.

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For all of your travels and adventures outside of the main cities or important landmarks in the three regions of the Kingdom of Hox, you will be somewhere in the Spondola Mountains. This is your elsewhere, wilderness, and in between for the Kingdom.

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Ezre Vks
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Joined: Tue Mar 05, 2019 11:02 am
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Race: Galdor
Location: Brunnhold, Anaxas
: better with the dead
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Mon Mar 09, 2020 12:21 pm

Kzecka, Hox
the 24th of achtus, 2720 | breath of dawn
The sun had risen. The sun had set. The closed window of the northernmost Kingdom's darkness not growing wider and wider until the winter solstice of Ophus had passed. Even in the velvet black of what otherwise would have been dawn anywhere else, the sky was visible between the swift-moving clouds and it was currently a brilliant stage for writhing streams of green, yellow, and even blue light—ribbons of the gods, aurorae, or perhaps even mythical beasts in their own rights according to humanity—and it would have been beautiful (as it always was) had Ezre had a moment to stop and look up, to pause and appreciate the way charged particles danced in their electrified state of being.

Snow had fallen so thick in the last few months of this new year that new stairs had been hastily carved over the memory of stone ones, original cobbled shapes like bones buried somewhere beneath so much white. Hopefully, the thaw would both come soon and be a warm one, trickling down the black rock mountains and rushing with the force of great streams into the steppes below, eventually blessing the desert Kingdom's veins with Hulali's waters. The stairs went up and up, higher into the frigid, thin air above Kzecka proper, above the tuaxen of the Mhorven Bashiva, above the shrines to every god of the Circle and then some, above the conclaves of the Hexxos, above the libraries, above the bathhouses, the shops, the training halls, and the homes nestled between everything else. Curling around statues, dipping beneath purple-stained archways and gilded reliefs of the pantheon, the stairs led to one of the oldest tsvat in the religious heart of the Kingdom of Hox, and Ezre's umah had told her child when to meet her.

She had also told her child to come alone.

He knew, somewhere in the back of his mind, somewhere in the miasma of emotions and thoughts that had filled him since he'd arrived with his foreign companions amid curious stares and too many questions, that Lreya Vks had things she wanted to say. He also knew that no matter what those things might have been, there was no way he could be ready for any of it and even as a Clairvoyant, no way to predict the words she'd held inside for this moment.

He had met her there at the first step, layered against the wind, bundled against a temperature that he finally could call cold.

The caress of the raen's strange but stalwart field was familiar even if the slant of bright color that met his senses was decidedly not what he'd expected from her greeting. In her typical fashion, she did not smile. She met his gaze, cheeks already red and eyelashes frosty as if she'd been standing at the base of their long climb for hours already—perhaps she had—and then she simply turned and began to lead the way. Her hair was braided far more formally than Ezre was sure should have been necessary, though he only could guess what shape it all took beneath the fur lining of her hood before her face was gone from his view. She carried something with her over her shoulder, a small, well-worn leather bag he'd seen so many times before in his childhood but whose contents he'd never seen.

Life away from the lofty altitudes of Kzecka had lessened the capacity of his lungs, though not by as much as he'd once feared. Raised in the breath-stealing cold and body formed by the thin air in the spine of the world, Lreya's only child was still capable of making the climb, but he knew his chest would ache and his head would swim by the summit.

The first half a house of climbing passed in expected silence, mother leaving her child to his own thoughts while sweat formed between their shoulder blades beneath all of the layers they wore against the well-below freezing temperatures. It was simply the lights of the sky illuminating the sparkling snow and smooth ice around them, interrupted every several stairs by a phosphor lantern. He used each step to clear his mind, to sift through all that had happened since he was last here almost a full year ago in Roalis, when he'd come alone even though he should not have. As if she'd begun to feel the lightness of his being as he shed each experience, as he relived each moment and then exhaled it into the chilled air, Lreya paused to finally turn and glance at the young Guide.

Ezre did his best not to make it obvious that he was panting, but his mother was hardly fooled:

"Has Anaxas made you weak, child? Are you so tired from your travels?"

It was a pointed question in the harsh tones of Deftung, sharp and weighted far heavier than he expected. There was no humor in it, no teasing of his younger self despite the word mho, but instead, it was meant to be the calling out of an adult.

"No, mother. I am not. The journey was far, but if anything, I have grown from it." The young Guide grunted, noting Lreya had stopped climbing. She waited, a few steps higher than himself, loose strands of long dark hair that had slipped during their trek from their careful place beneath her hood whipping in the wind.

He breathed, but no inhale felt like enough anymore, not this high. His legs, unused to a more regular journey up these steep steps, itched and ached, burned and tingled, all at the same time. Ezre attempted to catch his breath, searching the blank canvas of a face that was the raen who'd birthed him, but she gave nothing away—her rhakor as powerful as the strangely unfamiliar sensation of her field. Some slant of color, some brush of emotion he neither recognized nor understood, mingled in the darkness between them.

"I am blessed to hear such truth."

There was a gleam of warmth in the shiny dark pools of her eyes, but it could have been a trick of the dancing aurorae above. With an exhale of body-warmed breath, she turned and continued their ascent.

Somewhere along this second part of their slow, steady upward movement, Ezre felt his ears pop. He felt the numbness settle into his cheeks and fingers, his toes near the end. He felt the tightness building desperately in his lungs, longing for more oxygen because they'd atrophied at sea level, and he felt a little light-headed but that feeling was not unpleasant so early in this stage of altitude sickness. His heart fluttered like a caged bird in his chest, but he pressed forward, upward. He let the frigid high lead him to a place of non-thought, having left so much of his present self behind him on each of the snow-carved stairs to be picked back up again on his way back down.

Looming above them after another half a house of climbing, imposing in how it blocked out the clouds and the stars and the dancing lights, rose a narrow stone silhouette carved by Static magic and galdori hands centuries ago, possibly even before the War of the Book: Rhozrent Do Ushar, the Place of Gentle Repose. Texts copied from originals that had long crumbled to dust recorded how the very first Rho Tsvat’kyett of the Mhoren Basheva spent her final hours of meditation high above a much more humble Kzecka centuries ago and her mummified remains, still in the carefully folded (or, more specifically, gently reposed) position her body had been found in, was interred beneath the foundations.

Banners of many colors from so many decades, possibly centuries, some of the embroidered with prayers and others dyed by hand in specific patterns, flapped briskly in the wind. Ice clung to the intricately-carved reliefs, most of which were memories of shared history between the Mhoren and the Hexxos, detailing the separation of their duties, detailing the supposed times clear visions of the gods led the various religious communities of Hox in their spiritual directions.

The young Guide had many fond memories of this climb, of the tsvat, especially during the glorious holiday (and the day of his birth), Spar Rhavat. There was nowhere other than perhaps the observatories of Montack where celebrating the stars and the festival of lights that was at all superior in the mind of Ezre Vks, biased and now quite worn thin as it was.

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Ezre Vks
Posts: 285
Joined: Tue Mar 05, 2019 11:02 am
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Race: Galdor
Location: Brunnhold, Anaxas
: better with the dead
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Mon Mar 09, 2020 12:42 pm

Kzecka, Hox
the 24th of achtus, 2720 | breath of dawn
Lreya led the way in through the large, ice-dusted doors, lacquered a beautiful violet, gilded intricately in a glorious, meditative pattern. Quickly, she shut them again behind herself and her child with a deep thud that reverberated through their half-frozen chests and echoed through the large, empty antechamber of the main room. There was an expectant pause, both bodies standing in the threshold with ice clinging to their eyelashes and cheeks burning from the wind.

Ezre's inner ears ached, and he slowly began to remove some of the layers that had protected him from the cold but now made him dizzy in the stillness.

His mother simply stood, still silent, waiting, and once he'd hung his thick outermost layers beneath, breath slowing, the young Guide turned and offered to also do the same for Lreya, who allowed him to pare down her coats with just as much care as was expected of a Hexxos in the presence of the dead, inked hands moving with quiet gentleness. It was for the best, really, that she didn't see his flushed face and couldn't hear the pulse that fluttered so furiously in his ears even if he couldn't hide the apprehension in his field no matter how hard he tried. Surely that much she could feel, surely that much she knew, but it didn't show in her expression.

Delicate fingers, unmarked by ink, reached up to tuck thick, dark hair into place behind ears that wore the thin lines that had been tattooed upon the Vessel she existed in before her soul had usurped the flesh, and she carefully made sure her vipoxz was where it should be, the intricately-carved whalebone circlet recognizable to Ezre as one his father had presented the raen with as an offering of his commitment—

Circle, have mercy.

—something inside his aching ribs sank, heavy and fast like an avalanche crashing down from the cliffs below them on every side, and the thrum of his heart grew louder, pressed harder against his temples. As if it wasn't already hard enough to breathe, Lreya's only child realized they were alone for her reasons, here to speak in pure, unfiltered privacy.

Gods in all your places, really, really, have mercy.

His knees felt weak and his mother must have heard the hitch in his inhale and the ripple that must have passed through the airy wafting of his field like the trail of smoke that danced after blowing out a candle, for she cast him a sidelong glance with her dark eyes before he made every attempt to step away calmly instead of stagger, not looking back as he made his way into the main room without a word.

The very heart of the lower floor was simply a place of meditation and rest, smooth stone stretching from wall-to-wall with a large sunken hearth in the middle. The coals were kept burning year round—a chore for Kzecka children and Acolytes who made the climb on an alternating schedule. The heat was vented beneath the floor in clever Hoxian fashion, warming the entire room from below and allowing the removal of shoes, as both Ezre and Lreya had already done.

The silence was as heavy as the snow outside, the raen's child swimming in it while the altitude did him no favors. He set about making seating, piling blankets from their storage places. He moved to revive the fire, bringing the coals from their sputtering, slumbering state into a roaring warmth with more charcoal and wood and skilled use of a small fan. Lreya moved about, still without a word, the etherial but imposing presence of her field filling the room with her as yet unspoken expectations.

She sat, bag placed in front of her, and finally motioned for her child to sit also—not across from her, either, but next to her, close and intimate, wanted. By Bash was he grateful to finally be still, body finding a comfortable position with a sigh and realizing that Lreya Vks was smiling.

Watching him.

But smiling.

"Now I can see it—you have grown, indeed." The raen chose to break her silence first, shamelessly studying her child's face before she turned her attention to setting out all the accoutrements for tea. For chan, specifically.

His eyes widened, expression softening until he, too, smiled, "Since Roalis?" Ezre shifted, moving to set the slim metal container his mother had brought water in to the fire, aware that the liquid within was quite frozen after their climb. He ignored that his hands were shaking, but he could feel the way Lreya's gaze swept over him.

"I noticed then, but I am saying it now because I see you need to hear it." Was the quiet response, soft-spoken in all its Deftung-filled consonants. He could feel an undertone of emotion in her voice that he'd felt before in his life, but everything felt sharper, everything felt more honed in his direction.

The chan hadn't even been served yet.

He was surely doomed.

That trickle of trepidation slid down the curve of his spine like sweat. He swallowed, suddenly nauseated by the heat and the dizziness as his body found a state of rest, lungs grateful for the stillness even in air so thin. Carefully, one syllable at a time, Ezre stepped out onto the ice that he saw between them,

"Do you feel honored by what you see? Do you really think me so weary?"
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Ezre Vks
Posts: 285
Joined: Tue Mar 05, 2019 11:02 am
Topics: 22
Race: Galdor
Location: Brunnhold, Anaxas
: better with the dead
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Mon Mar 09, 2020 2:24 pm

Kzecka, Hox
the 24th of achtus, 2720 | breath of dawn
There were only a handful of times in his nineteen and a half years that Ezre could remember hearing his mother laugh. He could count on his inked fingers those moments, but this was one he was sure he would never forget.

The raen looked at him almost sternly for his very vulnerable questions, a pulse of ochre and warm gold like sparks from the fire dancing through the unusual sensation of her field. Just as he thought to put together the long, drawn-out phrases of formal apology in their shared language for speaking so boldly, her expression brightened and she laughed. Her eyes welled with tears at the edges and one of her hands moved from the cup she'd just set down to rest on top of his own before he could pull it away from his lap,

"Ez'ia—my little light—I am very honored by what I see. It is not a weariness that burdens you, but the weight of understanding. Wisdom does not always lighten the heart so much as strengthen your innermost self to better carry what you have come to hold onto."

Tension eased in his shoulders.

Glaciers melted in his mind.

The unexpected beauty of his mother's loving amusement was a breath of life from someone who'd existed beyond death for so long already. The raen's child who'd frozen at such a musical sound thawed, emotions trickling through their mingled auras, a cacophony of thoughts pushing through frozen soil, blossoming as though suddenly it was bjarasautumn; this translates to the spring, rainy season and summer of the rest of the world. instead of vorsvaswinter; this translates to the winter and fall of the rest of the world.. Even as he inhaled, there was some hint of trepidation still lingering on the delicate features of his face.

"You doubted that truth." Came a whisper, the eyes of someone who'd watched decades slip into centuries searching the face of a youth that could only hope to see the turn of a single brace of ten decades should the gods favor his body and his mind so kindly.

"I did."

"What brings you such shame, child?"

"Nothing. I have done nothing that I regret. Nothing that has brought harm to the honor of others that I am aware of. I—"

Lreya shook her head, hand sliding from his to raise and request that he wait, that he fall quiet, "We both made the climb with burdens and we did not set them all down along the way."

He nodded, caught up in a surreal sense of awe that the woman who'd struggled with carrying life in order to bring him into the world a crying babe was even capable of such depths of expression. He felt everything meant by the touch, by the laughter, and he blinked at the request for silence, suddenly aware of all the words he longed to say, all that he'd carried with him on his back for hours in the frigid cold.

The raen's smile faded and she turned to prepare their chan, the motion becoming an unspoken summons for his attention and assistance. Marked and unmarked, young and well-aged, the contrast of their hands in unison was pleasing and good, comforting, and nostalgic. The strong, spiced fragrance of one of Lreya's own blends of chan filled his senses and the rest of the world dissolved from his focus until it disappeared entirely on the steam that would soon rise from their pair of mugs.

This was not meant to be a casual serving of chan between friends, even between family. It was obvious his raen of a mother had expectations: from the very careful measurement of powdered herbs to the turning of small cups with gilded interiors, every motion they made together was a symbolic and important reminder of both the Circle and the cycle of life and death. It was a celebration as much as it was an offering, and by the time the water was poured and whisked vigorously into a foamed, hot mug of hallucinogenic repose, Ezre understood that there was so much Lreya had carried with her up to the tsvat that he had not anticipated.

The silence fell like a warm blanket on them both and they drank without speaking. She'd wiped tears. He'd found it easier to breathe again. This moment was a long pause, an unspoken prayer, and the crackle of the fire danced in their vision like some important witness, watching without judgment.

Finally, empty mugs grew cold and it was his mother that once again made the invocation with her voice, her field mingling with his and the strange caress of monic particles he knew were somehow different from any others he'd felt, any others he'd categorized in all his education, seemed to seep beneath his tattooed skin,

"It was a difficult choice for me to send you away, Ez'ia, but even when you grew in my womb, I knew I could not hold onto you forever."

"It was difficult to leave, mother, but as I begin to see glimpses of Vita beyond the lofty comforts of Hox, I feel as though I understand your purpose. Even since Roalis, all that I have seen—nothing has been as I expected."

"I am glad you are beginning to feel as I feel and see as I have seen. Are you sure that you are looking where you should be?"

It was quick, that cut. It stung. It immediately bled. He felt it there, sharp like a knife to his palm. It was both too soon and not soon enough. Ezre blinked, exhaling slowly through tense lips, the trails of his thoughts blurred and blended, merged with his feelings in a bright stain of colors spreading like drops of ink on wet paper through his airy, Clairvoyant-mona filled field and through his vision.

"I am. I am searching the quiet places for questions and listening in the stillness for answers. I have been where eyes cannot be seen and still given sound guidance. I have attempted to be as a candle in the darkness, a warm light." The syllables of his own name in Deftung at the end of his words seemed to stick against the back of his teeth. As if he'd gone back in the cold and attempted to climb higher, his breath caught.

Lreya was watching him again.

"I knew the gods had given me a gift in your life, child. A bright reprieve in the tapestry of death my existence is destined to weave. I will admit, Ezre, that I did not make the decision to send you from my arms or our home with pleasure. Only with hope."

"You said you are honored by what you see, but—?"

Lreya sighed, any warmth in her expression whisked away by such a direct question, swept under into a tide of chan-amplified emotions that eddied and swelled between them, unbidden and yet completely uninhibited. The tightness in the young Guide's chest grew in her lack of an answer, in her taking a very necessary moment to sift through her thoughts and find the right response. He ached at the hint of disapproval, spice lingering on his tongue and lips.

"—but perhaps I hoped you would find your way through the world outside of Kzecka and yet somehow remain unattached to it."

"Mother, I did not—"

"Ezre. Hear my own heart, not yours. Just for a moment."
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Ezre Vks
Posts: 285
Joined: Tue Mar 05, 2019 11:02 am
Topics: 22
Race: Galdor
Location: Brunnhold, Anaxas
: better with the dead
Character Sheet: Character Sheet
Writer: Muse
Writer Profile: Writer Profile
Contact:

Mon Mar 09, 2020 4:09 pm

Kzecka, Hox
the 24th of achtus, 2720 | breath of dawn
Ezre found himself suddenly adrift, caught between the haze of thin air and the abstraction of chan, floating in a singular moment that echoed with his mother's laughter but felt hard like the press of ancient stone. He had been raised with purpose. He had been sent first to Frecks to find his place among a people who knew of him but did not understand him. He had then been sent to Anaxas, the prestigious epicenter of knowledge and yet also somehow the endless pit of ignorance.

"No." Ezre was quite sure he knew when the word vre left his mother's lips, unmarked by ink like his own, that he knew exactly where this conversation was headed. He remembered with sudden keenness the sting of Alethia Kuleda's rejection and he feared here, now, from the lips of his own mother, he was about to hear the same all over again only without even the kindness of the Hessean he cared about's presence. The tangible gravity of her field shifted, pressing heavier, surprise a flare of violet brighter than the lacquer on the doors outside, "We must listen together and in turn."

Lreya's eyes widened at her child's refusal, body coiling like a rock viper disturbed from the sun in summer, graceful and dangerous. She had not anticipated he would push back any more than he had anticipated they made this climb together over one singular matter of where his heart might have strayed. She nodded, caution creasing its way into her face, wrinkling the corners of her eyes as she willed herself to listen first instead of speak.

Time had passed too quickly, the quickest she could ever remember it flowing through her entropic existence as if in giving Ezre life, she'd given more of her own than she'd ever thought possible.

It was not a child in front of her, but an adult seeking passage.

Would she be the mountain, immovable and stern?

Or would she be the river, flowing from the melted snow into the sea?

"I did not follow you up the stairs of Rhozrent Do Ushar to speak of Lilanee Kuleda or Tom Cooke, nor to speak the names of those I have come to call my friends from here to Anaxas and back again as if they are mere burdens to be cast aside in order to lighten the journey you have sent me on. I followed you above the clouds to hear your wisdom, to seek your blessing. I brought their company with me not as offerings but as gifts." He spoke too boldly, perhaps, for his mother's blank expression quickly faltered into a frown, deep and unsettling in the features of the raen he'd just heard laugh and seen smile mere heartbeats ago.

"You were given my blessing when the last lines of ink were set beneath your skin by my own hand, Ezre. You have always had my wisdom, whether you choose to listen or not." Her voice was so soft, so gentle. It soothed the flare of heat that burned at the back of his skull, but his lungs still didn't feel able to fill with enough air, "It was not my intention to speak their names—"

"It is mine. They have names. They have meaning in this life I am making for myself far from Hox, the life you asked me to live. I am not quite sure why I was asked to leave and see the world if suddenly you are disappointed that I also participate in it." There was no anger in his voice just as there was no anger in hers, aware that the barriers between them had been swept away by frigid wind and washed away by chan. It was unfiltered honesty and Ezre spoke not at the speed of his rhakor but instead at the speed of his heart.

"I am not disappointed, even if you surely must recognize the challenge you have set for yourself with opening your heart to a Hessean, if not also risk your life for her and her family, regardless of whether or not they do not see the world in the same way as we do. You have also told me much of your struggles in attempting to give Guidance to a young raen—Tom Cooke. I hear the fear of failure in your voice, even if you do not speak it out loud." Lreya chided him with surprising mercy, with a gentleness he'd not anticipated, searching his face, "You cannot help who you love. Just as the stars are fixed in their courses, just as the Cycle turns, it seems as though the heart decides with our without our permission. I will not begrudge you such things. Before this Vessel that bore you, when my body had grown old, did you know it was Tuhir who led me on the Walk from Kzecka to Xerxes? Did you know when I saw through new eyes—these eyes—your father was there, waiting?"

Ezre knew in part, but not in whole. He knew hints, bits and pieces, vague references to stories that his parents held in their shared hearts but had not openly offered to him.

"You have had many lifetimes. You have shared those lives with others, watched their lives ebb and flow. I have this one and only this one. Are you asking me, as Hexxos, as cxîl, to walk it alone?"

"No. I am asking no such thing. Sweet child, your heart is like the glorious Vroh Guar in size and heat. Your life is so—bright."

The pause was fragrant, like incense, and the raen was forced to look away from the expression on her child's face into the coals of the fire,

"I am asking that you do not let the comforts you rightfully desire lead you away from the path you were given to follow. I am asking that you do not let those who become needful and welcome attachments in your life do not hold you back instead of propel you forward. I am asking that you do not tangle yourself so in joy that you forget the suffering of others, the suffering of Vita, the sorrow of the gods themselves."

"Mother, I do not want that at all. I do not feel as though those I have shared myself with as a friend, as a lover, have at all clouded my vision so much as brought it into focus."

"Good. That is the boundary you must set in every path you put your feet onto, with every heart and life and even body you share."

She raised a hand, seeing the shift of focus in his attention, feeling the softening of sharp edges, the ebb of self-defensiveness that had bubbled up in her child's very center, the cooling of hot magma into layers of multicolored ignatious stone. Dark, clear obsidian was left behind, between them, catching the light in its facets, and her unmarked fingers brushed his face, tracing the line that split his chin. Silent for too long, she wiped his tears and ignored her own. Her hand lingered, palm against his cheek, before finally she lowered it, gently bringing it to rest in his lap, curling around his hand one more time in a rare but not unwelcome expression of unfiltered affection.

"Ezre, this is my last Vessel. Yours is the life I have chosen to replace my own."

The raen's child blinked, tears immediate and hot, lava trailing from the edges of his dark eyes and burning down his cheeks. He barely managed a word, soft syllables caught between his tongue and his heart, "Umah."

"My legacy is long, but you are the hope I have spent almost four hundred years searching for. You have seen and now you must seek what I could not find for the answers to the questions are not here in Kzecka."

"Mother, you do not mean it."

"I do. I do mean it, Ez'ia. It is time. I have taken enough lives to keep my own. You are the best of all that I have given life to. You are my only child."

Almost four hundred years and he was only one life that shined in defiance of all the others she'd snuffed out as a raen, the candle left burning in the darkness. Her small light. Lreya looked at Ezre with a vulnerability he'd never seen, with an honesty that made her suddenly seem as old and frail as she must have felt inside after almost four centuries of clinging to sanity, of seeking peace even with the forces of the world that sought to untangle her very existence.

"Do you understand why I want to make sure your path is narrow? Do you understand why the passage is difficult and the comforts are few? I have time left, time that is my offering to you as much as it is all I can offer the gods that did not want me, but this is the last turn of the hourglass."

"I understand, but also, I do not." The raen's child managed, shattered by the truth like a pocket watch dropped onto the cobblestones, gears and glass everywhere.

"I know. There is much to say. Let us say it all slowly, here together you and I, so that it lasts a little longer."
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