[PM to Join] Have You Heard-? (Aura)

[Fionn]

Loshis 9, 2719 | Late Evening
Passive Canteen, Brunnhold

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Maybe it had been a bit too long since he had had a chance to share things with someone properly. He spoke to Niamh but there were things that he couldn't say to her, things that she would never understand because she wasn't a passive. Actually, there were things that she tried to understand and that made it so much worse because she could be so patronising and frustrating. And sometimes, it felt pointless to tell her things as if his own concerns were too trivial and stupid and he'd just bore her with things that were significant to him but were commonplace for her. Besides, she was one of his outlets for intelligent conversation, he couldn't waste that time talking about how Keyes was weird. The galdori didn't get it and Jamie... clock the Circle, he didn't like to give that boy anymore reason to chatter if he could help it, especially as his roommate would end up talking far, far more than Fionn ever would. As for Lars, well....

So he just let things spill out to Aura and he didn't know why. Maybe it was pure loneliness, maybe it was due to how flustered and embarrassed he was, or maybe there was something about her. Whatever it was, he'd said more than he'd intended to and honestly, she was probably just as surprised as he was about the deluge of words. About something like... trust. Funnily enough, he did trust her, or believed her at any rate when she promised not to pass on his admittance. Fionn flashed a brief, grateful smile, fleetingly meeting her gaze, awkward once more. After what he'd already spouted, he was nervous about opening his mouth again because the Ten only knew what else he'd allow to slip out.

To his surprise, she chose to share her own little tidbit, unwrapping an anecdote from her past to present to him. He tilted his head towards her, regarding her from beneath blond lashes as he tried to work out if it was something precious to her. Given the prior mention of her sister... Either way, it was an attempt to pay kind with kind and he appreciated it. He was inclined to press her about it, to find out her thoughts but he realised that she'd likely been too young and hadn't appreciated the experience at the time; it would be a waste to ask her about it.

He wondered if she appreciated it now, albeit belatedly. There was that cheery attempt at dismissal as if not being able to find out didn't bother her, could never bother her. The nonchalant way she threw it out could easily mean that not being able to go to another ballet bothered her now, more than she'd like to admit. The light tone and then the silence that followed seemed to prove it or at least prove... something. Despite what was on the surface, she was thinking about something that had been prompted by her words or his.

There was no point pursuing it, no point trying to engage her in further conversation. The sooner they both shut up, the sooner they could both go back to their lonely little bubbles where neither of them had to be vulnerable and have feelings and risk bonding. When she mentioned going to the laundry, it was the middle Madden's way out. All he had to do was make some inane comment, a grunt of farewell, maybe only a nod of recognition and then he could finish his dinner and carry on as if the encounter had never happened aside from a few sad little lines on paper.

Instead, the teenager opened his mouth to slam a new foot into it.

“I really am sorry about the dress. Again. I wish I could make it up to you, it isn’t like I haven’t taken worse stains out but then I’d have to get you out of your dress," he remarked innocently, laughing lightly before the words registered in his ears and he panicked. "Not that I want to get you out of your dress! I mean, uh... I’m sure uh... I’m sure that you’re- Good luck!”

Fionn had had the sense to abandon ship but only once he was half-drowned. His face, which had cooled, had reddened again considerably and he sat hunched forward over his bowl, drawing utterly abandoned as he tried to close himself off from the world. She'd bolt off to the laundry - probably very perturbed - and he'd be left to die of humiliation in peace. At least he was almost finished his dinner and could go to hide in his room.

Someone else must have heard him and he couldn't deal with others looking at him and knowing and laughing at him behind their masked expressions.

Oh fucking kill me...