[Mature] Thin Line (Aura)

[Fionn]

Hamis 32, 2719 | Midday
Laboratory Beta

.

Continued from here

She’d kissed him before and he recalled the fervent greed of it, how eagerly her lips had moved once he’d broken the ice between them, her hands ready to press through his skin. She hadn’t been shy then, although she seemed that way now. So hesitant, so unsure and yet there was hunger in her eyes. It was more than that though. He didn’t need to read it in her body language, not when her lips had so baldly declared her desires. She certainly wanted this but some rationale was holding her back — propriety no doubt — but once she got a taste of the thing she wanted, Fionn felt certain that she’d throw herself into this with greater passion. If she was almost panting with need now, veritably breathless then he could only imagine how she’d be once they started snogging and that they would was a given. After all, if she was so eager to kiss him, why ever would she stop at one brief press of lips?

Aurelie’s hand found his chest and he relaxed into it, leaning subtly into her touch but he managed to stop himself from leaning closer to her. Instead, he forced himself to remain where he was, taking no action but the one concession he allowed himself was to move his lips against hers when she crossed the short gap to kiss him. It was her turn to tease though, her mouth on his for too fleeting a span. Enough to stir his blood more, quickening the rhythms of his body so that it was harder for him to tease, harder for him to control himself.

When they’d kissed for the first time, he had kissed her and then drawn away, her lips coming to seek his and perhaps now she hoped for the same thing in reverse, for Fionn to chase her mouth this time when they parted. He held himself apart still, checking his impulses so that he didn’t throw himself at her, wrapping himself around her, tangle his fingers in her hair, draw her to him and taste her more deeply. He held himself back but he was teetering on an edge and struggling not to slip across a thin line that would be all too easy to cross.

The kitchen maid shifted nearer, her hand never releasing him and he let it remain — happy to have it there — with her fingers bunched in the fabric of his shirt. The other hand found the back of his neck and he shivered on the brink, ready to lean forward in anticipation of her drawing the young man to her. Instead, it was her turn to tease, laughing a little before she managed a playful chastisement that was almost stern. For a moment, he blinked in surprise and then found her laugh contagious, chortling at her joke.

“You’re going to tease me now? I suppose that’s only fair,” he admitted, free hand running over his hair, dragged back through the locks until he found her hand at the base of his neck. He didn’t remove it although he would allow his fingers to traipse lightly across her skin. He was tempted to take her hand, to bring it around to the front to press a kiss to its back but he didn’t. Instead, he let the hand drop to waist height and then moved to forward, encircling her waist while the other cradled her head.

“I think I can move a little closer,” he whispered, leaning closer as he said it but not all the way, not yet. No doubt, she could feel the way his heart hammered in his chest, feel the vibrations of it under her hand. Was her heart moving at the same frantic pace? Did she have the same desire simmering in her blood? Briefly, he wondered if she was excited as he was and if like him, it caused something physical? He’d perused some of Niamh’s anatomy books but they hadn’t really been that concerned with female organs except those firmly within. Then again, there had been a great deal they hadn’t said about the male side of things, hardly concerned with anything beyond basic functionality and what could go wrong — ailments and the like.

Not that he was in the mood to be scientific right now. It was just idle curiosity really. Well, maybe more than that. He could admit that the thought of stirring something physical within her was quite titillating. Would it be possible to tell without asking? Would it be obvious with her as it was with him? It wasn’t as if he could go feeling her up to find out.

Or could he?

“Do you want me to move closer?” he asked gently, the youth edging close enough that his lips were almost brushing hers. “A little closer?” he questioned, the young woman liable to feel the speech as much as hear it. He licked his lips slowly and deliberately then pounced.

His mouth would move quickly, fiercely but he’d keep it brief, drawing back after a few hungry kisses before drawing back a little, dipping his head so that even if she tried to pursue him, she’d have a hard time catching his mouth. His lips sought the curve of her jaw, intending to plant more feathery kisses there before descending down her throat.

The blond’s grip around her waist would tighten, trying to press her more closely to him, shifting so that it was easier for them both, more comfortable.

“Can I… move my hand… lower?” the servant asked breathily, a hot whisper against skin while he tapped her waist lightly to indicate the hand he meant. “Is there anywhere… you don’t want me to…?”

He let the question hang unfinished but surely understood. He’d been controlled and teasing before but now he was unravelling too, the desire in his voice unmistakable. The youth tilted his head, angling it so he could look up at her face, eyes bright and hopeful, the kissing temporarily forgotten — or paused.

[Aurelie Steerpike]

Hamis 32, 2719 Midday | Laboratory Beta

Had she been teasing? Aurelie didn't think she meant to be. She didn't think much at all, really. Just moved, trying to be bolder than she was anxious. That her anxiety could be mistake for unwillingness concerned her, somewhat. She couldn't help being so wound up in more ways than one--it wasn't like she had any experience to work from, not even close. Laughter was good, though, and unknotted something that had been tensed inside of her. Aurelie just didn't want to let her nerves slow her down, or screw her up. They would anyway, but she didn't want them to.

Her mouth had still been curved into a smile when Fionn let his hand drop to her waist and leaned closer. The sound of his voice dropped it from her face. Not dismay, but with laughter a little distant from her mind at the moment. She could feel Fionn's heart in his chest under her palm and knew hers was the same. That, too, made her feel less anxious. She was still worried she would do something strange or wrong, couldn't help being so, but knowing they were at least a little on the same page made her nerves feel more like excitement.

This was a very bad idea. Aurelie was full of bad ideas, it seemed like. Still--who cared? What did it matter? She wouldn't--she knew there was a line she couldn't cross, and she wouldn't. Her senses hadn't left her that completely. No matter how the room seemed to tilt a little. So what was the concern, really? There was no proper way of doing these things, not for her. It wasn't like--like--some formal courtship, or... No. As long as nobody found out, she reasoned, it was fine. And nobody would find out. Because nobody would try.

Aurelie wanted to nod when Fionn asked her if she wanted him to move closer--oh she did, she very much did, all distance seemed like too much right now. He was too close even for that, and then anything she had been thinking of maybe saying back left her head because he was kissing her. A little bit she had been afraid that when she pulled back to tease (which maybe had been what she was doing after all) that he would stop. Sensibility restored to them both. She was blessedly wrong. Aurelie made some noise that wasn't a word but was very clearly thrilled as he moved away from her mouth. Much as she liked kissing him, which she really, truly did, this was good too. Excellent, in fact. The best bad idea she'd ever had.

"Can you...? Oh! Uhm--" Aurelie let out a breathy little gasp when he tapped her waist. She hadn't really thought that far ahead. For a moment she considered it, she really did her best to think and not just react to the nearness of him and the surprising heat of her own blood. It was difficult, but she did her best. For a panicked moment she thought about the scar spread across her chest. What would he think of...? But that wasn't what he'd asked and she could cross that bridge when she got that far. Besides, she'd already trusted with so much. Surely she could trust him with a little more, if it came to it.

"I--I don't know, I'm--er. Y-you can, I--uhm. You know I... have no basis for... Uhm. Yes. Y-you... yes." Aurelie was red right up to the roots of her hair, the back of her neck, the tips of her ears. The temptation to keep babbling was extremely strong, but she wanted to restrain herself. Focus. She had to focus. Fionn was looking at her so hopefully. And the way he'd asked... She shifted a little, tense in a new and much better way than before, biting her lip. Why would she have said no, again?

"C-can I... j-just let you know? If there's something I... I don't..." Aurelie giggled a little, the sound having some edge of pleased tension. This was really a lot very quickly, but she felt like if she slowed down she would consider things too much. And if she considered them, she would stop, and she would be furious with herself later.

"And... uhm. Should I...? Er. I. Oh chimes." If she kept talking she was going to bite her tongue off, so keenly was she aware of how ridiculous she must sound. The hand that had been on the back of his head slid up to run through his hair and settle at the side of his face. The other she left where it was--once again, she had absolutely no idea where to put any part of her.

[Fionn]

Hamis 32, 2719 | Midday
Laboratory Beta

.

Even while he awaited permission to shift nearer and allow his hands to wander, he was considering how to facilitate a greater nearness between them. As it was, they could sit thigh to thigh and twist around to embrace each other and that was as close as they could get — in their current position that is. They could get closer if they fit together a bit better and he didn’t think that Aurelie was going to clamber into his lap and put her legs around him and Fionn sure as hell wasn’t going to drag her on top of him. He could make himself fit better around her though. He shifted, raising one leg and then the other so he could tug off his shoes, one hand remaining at her waist for balance. He could have left them on but that would have been terribly uncomfortable given that he was going to end up sitting on at least one of his feet.

“You can say no, Aura,” he murmured, drawing back a bit as he folded his leg under him, the one nearest the couch back, kneeling on it briefly before he sat back down on his foot. He touched her face, the gesture more tender than lusty and he smiled at her, reassuring.

“If you say yes to something… you can change your mind, you know. You can say yes and if you don’t like it… you can say no,” he assured her, stroking her cheek before leaning closer to bestow a brief kiss to her lips. She was nervous and Fionn didn’t want her to be. This should feel good, should be bloody enjoyable and he didn’t think he could enjoy it if she didn’t. It wasn’t a selfish thing, it wasn’t some attempt to assure his own pleasure or ensure that it wasn’t diminished. Enjoyment wasn’t that difficult to come by — not for him. But he liked Aura. Yes, he was attracted to her, he wanted her but he also cared about her. He didn’t want to hurt her in the way he’d hurt so many others. He didn’t want to hurt her the way he’d hurt Lars before he established something steady with the Hessean and was careful, considerate.

He’d always been careful but only so far as to not cause pain, to use pleasure as a means to blot out any harm that he might do. He’d changed since Lars had come along. He’d done better with the man and he intended to do better with the girl, especially as he couldn’t afford to make any mistakes with her. He should never have made any mistakes with Lars but with Aurelie… she would likely be the only woman he’d ever be this close to and even then, there were limits on how close they could be. The blond didn’t want to hurt her and most importantly, he didn’t want to scare her off. So maybe… maybe he shouldn’t be so hasty.

The teenager had been watching her face, thoughts moving swiftly through his head, wondering if he was moving too fast for her even as he moved his unbent leg around her, resting his foot on the arm of the couch so that the limb wasn’t actually resting in her lap but hovering above it — just. The leg was held bent and rigid, the muscles tensed and sure to start aching a bit if he had to keep it there, a little bridge over her lap. He wasn’t going to rest it there without permission and she hoped that she’d give it. If she did then it would be easy for him to scoot quite close to her indeed, although he had already gotten pretty close. Then again, if she gave him a good shove to the side, the passive could be toppled sideways onto the floor so it wasn’t as if she was trapped.

“Can you just let me know… what? You have to tell me or I won’t know anything,” Fionn pointed out with a good-natured laugh. He’d liked the giggle. It was a good sound — she didn’t make it enough — but it also made him smile at her a little nervously, a little self-consciously, unsure what had brought it on. He was in the dark. He didn’t know if she was trying to ask if she could do something or if she was trying to find out if he wanted her to do something. The last time they’d kissed, she’d wanted to know what she could do to please him. Was it something to do with that? Was she trying to say that he could ask-

He had no idea what she was trying to say. There was no telling what might be going through her thoughts. Her fingers went through his hair, the youth humming appreciatively as she did so, leaning gently against her hand as it came to rest on his face. His hands had found her waist once more and he moved them slowly to her hips, watching her closely as he did so. In case she changed her mind. She didn’t know what it was like to be touched like this so she might well decide that she didn’t like it. Her expression might give some indication of what she felt but he knew that sometimes things just felt strange but weren’t necessarily unpleasant — just unfamiliar.

“What? What did you want to say?” the youth questioned softly, letting his hands slip lower, tracing her curves with a look of wonder on his features. He found himself eager to cup flesh because there was quite a bit of it, more than he was used to handling, so yielding. It was a different sort of body than he was used to and it was strange and exciting. New.

“Nothing you say… it won’t be stupid. Awkward. Sweet Lady, haven’t we managed to be awkward with each other without anything bad happening? Oh you might want to die — I know I have — but there are worse things than embarrassment… right?”

Fionn exerted a gentle pressure, coaxing her to shift closer to him but not forcing her, certainly not tugging her towards him in a manner that she couldn’t resist if she wanted.

[Aurelie Steerpike]

"N-no!" Her protest was immediate and, perhaps, too fervent. She just--oh bells and chimes. She hadn't meant to--that was exactly the impression she had been trying to avoid. "I-I don't want to. Er, to say... n-no, that is. Er." This was tremendously embarrassing. Fionn was shifting position on the couch, which was likely a good plan. She commended this plan, because she had none and they really had been sitting sort of awkwardly. For... for anything else.

Her heart fluttered a little when he touched her face, the feeling purely affectionate. How did he always manage to be so...? Aurelie felt a part of her go all soft and wobbly. So very, very careful to give her a way out, to be kind to her. It almost made her want to cry again, as fragile as she was. As unused to being treated with such care as she was, too. That wouldn't go over well, so she blinked the feeling away into something more manageable. She shook her head slightly, a smile returning to her face.

"Okay." That was the best she could do, her voice barely above a whisper. She wanted to kiss him again when he drew away, but only to cover how flustered she was, so she didn't. There simply wasn't anything else she knew how to say to make it more clear. Aurelie wanted to be here, flustered as she was. It was--very fast, she knew. She probably should be trying to slow things down, except... she didn't really want to. In lieu of anything else to say, she let her hand trail down to the limb he'd bridged over her lap. She put a gentle pressure on him, trying to indicate that she wanted him closer. If he wanted. Not that he wasn't close already--they had been close, of course, and this was certainly closer than she'd ever been to anyone else in perhaps her entire life. The closest she was likely to get to anyone, she thought. But any space between them seemed intolerable and likely she would only fill it up with nervousness.

"I don't know what I'm trying to say either," she confessed. Eloquence had never been one of her strong suits. The jumble of thoughts and feelings in her head wasn't making it any easier. Neither was the movement of his hands from her waist to her hips, though she liked it. Her expression shifted a little, some of the awkwardness leaving it. The tension remained. Aurelie found that she couldn't look away from his face, captivated by the sight of it. Fionn really was very pleasant to look at--she could do it all day. Without thinking, she moved her face just a little closer, stopping just short of kissing him again. This was all very strange--not bad, just... strange. Aurelie still didn't know what to do with herself, but she wanted to find out.

"I'm, er--I don't know if you've noticed, b-but I'm not the most... er... articulate. S-sorry. I just, ah." She took the cue to move closer with a little sigh. Every part of her felt barely restrained from falling into him, even from her current seated position. What an odd feeling. Aurelie wiggled slightly without realizing, desperate to be nearer. He was right though, she needed to be more clear. Though generally Aurelie was thankful that he couldn't read her mind, embarrassing as her thoughts tended to be, this was an instance where she wished that was possible. It would certainly save her the trouble of having to solidify thoughts and feelings and desires into words, which were so often clumsy and insufficient.

"There are worse things," she agreed, laughing again. "I-- er, I will absolutely be awkward. S-stupid... has yet to be... Uhm. Sorry, I..." Aurelie let her hands both move to his side, firmer than she had before. Less hesitant, too. She felt the solidity of muscle and bone and warmth through the fabric of his shirt. Where before she had restrained herself from trying to grasp too much, when they had kissed in Keyes' office, now she let her hands roam a little. Not too far, unsure of where she should stop or go, but it seemed to her that if she couldn't use her words well she could maybe find some sort of honesty in her actions if she didn't hold herself back too much. She wanted to feel his skin again, every part of him. New and strange territory--Aurelie wanted all of it.

"I just want t-to, uhm, to touch you. B-but I don't--I don't know what I'm doing. Obviously. Ah." Aurelie fought her desire to look away from him, and did her best to let her desire just remain there on her face, plain as she could make it. Could he tell? Had anything she said made sense? Was it clear enough, in the flush of her face and the way her mouth parted slightly? In the hitch in her breath? Or did she still just seem nervous? Aurelie didn't feel nervous, as much as she had. Something had shifted in her, clicked into place. While she was still flustered and unsure, it felt... good. Right. The girl just had to hope she had made that plain enough.

[Fionn]

Hamis 32, 2719 | Midday
Laboratory Beta

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Did he snigger a little at her rapid denial that she wanted to say no? Yes, a little but only because the speed of it delighted him. Maybe there was a nervous edge because she wasn’t offering any obstacles to his wishes. At this rate, the only person who was going to keep him on the straight and narrow was him and he wasn’t certain that he could if she was going to be quite so willing. She’d misunderstood though. He hadn’t been asking her to say no, not at all but he didn’t know how to phrase it better. Aurelie wasn’t the only one who struggled to articulate what she meant. He’d broach the topic again perhaps, although he’d tried already, hadn’t he?

Thank the Circle for actions! It was so much easier to speak with the hands, the tongue, the press of the torso. Touch was a wonderful thing. He certainly thought so when she let her hand rest on his leg, pressing down on it oh so lightly. Yes, he understood that easily enough. Fionn allowed the limb to relax, shifting it around her. He licked his lips, allowing himself to settle on her, slightly nervous about doing so because it meant that his groin pretty much settled against her, which could be a risky thing indeed. It wouldn’t be difficult for her to touch off him, to set him off and even if she didn’t, he supposed that he was close enough to her that she’d be able to feel him and her embrace was enough for that.

She leaned nearer and his breath quickened — he couldn’t help it. They were fitting together better now, much better, the gap between them growing narrower and narrower as time went on. Not just their faces but their bodies. Was it his imagination or could he feel the heat emanating from her, even through her clothing, through- how many layers? How many layers of undergarments did women wear? He’d certainly been left wondering in the laundries when he’d done shifts there because there were honestly so many frilly things! Not that passives wore frilly things or… they probably didn’t. Aurelie didn’t seem like the sort to wear-

Sweet Lady, Fionn! Stop thinking about how many layers there are to take off! he scolded himself, ready to scream at himself because no, no, he hadn’t meant to think that. Not layers to take off, just layers that were there. Just layers! Just-

It had gotten hotter, much hotter. It could have been her body heat but he didn’t think that was why he’d gotten scarlet and quite hot under the collar. Gods, she had no idea what she was doing to him, simply by being present and interlocked with him. Of course, she was going to know what she was doing soon enough with how near they were.

Her articulation comment drew a laugh, tinged with nerves, the teenager aware that they had that in common. It was probably easy for her to forget that, especially now when he’d managed to come across as pretty smooth.

“Yeah I uh… I’m not always great with words, even though I know a lot of them!”

The last word came out as a near yelp, his voice pitching up crazily. He bit his lip to contain a breathy curse. The wiggle had caught him by surprise. It was far from unpleasant but still — a surprise. He chuckled, low and self-conscious, gazing at her appraisingly. Very unexpected but you had to watch out for the quiet ones, didn’t you? And here she was with her hands roving over his own contours but confined for the time being, as hesitant and careful as he was being right now albeit for different reasons. Probably.

“Sometimes… actions speak… a lot louder than words,” the youth panted, moving a hand away from her hip, fingers loosely closed into a fist except for one; he placed his index finger against her lips.

“No more sorry, no more about not knowing- This is new for me. I’ve never-” the servant broke off, removing his finger so that he could press his mouth to hers, lips stretching into a smile. It was brief and light, the young man breaking contact with a chuckle.

“Told you I’m not always great with words,” Fionn teased, pecking her on the corner of her mouth then her cheek. His heart thrummed in his ears, excitement quickening as he let his hand find the back of her neck, while the other slid lower. It slithered between flesh and couch, his eagerness unmistakable as he palmed her buttock and leveraged her up a little so he could tug her close, stop her from wiggling away.

There had been a moment of worry before because she might inadvertently rub against him and get a rise from him. However, that had gone, replaced by a lust — fast becoming a need — that had been stirred in him by that wiggle and her desire to touch him. The girl was going to get a shock sooner or later, there was no point trying to spare her and if he tried to open his mouth to explain it, warn her, all the young man would manage was something awkward and disjointed. There’d never been a need to explain before, not when he’d been around men who hardly needed information about something that came naturally. Funnily enough, it had been easier to refer to with men as well, casual innuendo and off-handed remarks being the only references needed. Where words would fail him, a demonstration…

Well, a demonstration could be all too readily arranged — whether he wanted it or not.

“Touch all you want,” he hissed, manoeuvring his mouth back to hers as the hand on the back of her neck pressed, drawing her to him, the other tugging her towards his crotch in a move that wasn’t wholly conscious. He wanted her and right now he was having an issue remembering to be polite and considerate because he had the chance to press her up against him.

If someone came in now, there was no hiding what they were doing, even if they somehow managed to spring apart. His sister would have had some words to say in that situation but Niamh wasn’t going to be coming back any time soon, even if she hadn’t had class to occupy her.

[Aurelie Steerpike]

If Aurelie wasn't already about as red as possible, she would have turned redder when Fionn snickered at her denial. That could have been smoother, she knew. Maybe a little over-eager. A lot over-eager? She had no idea. Any version of herself she had ever known wouldn't be here doing this, and yet that was the version of herself she was now. Standards seemed very skewed at this moment. Though it was possible she had always been this way, and it was simply lack of opportunity that had carried her this far on the sensible path. How was she to know? It hardly mattered anyway, did it? They were already here and Fionn was already settled around her and she didn't know what to think about that other than "yes" and--

Aurelie's thoughts were a little out of control.

Not just her thoughts, but her actions too. A stern voice in the back of her mind that sounded very much like her sister was telling her to stop what she was doing right this instant. Reminding her that having a boy on her lap was not something a respectable young woman would do, and that passive or not one still had to have some kind of standard. Shut up, voice. Standards had never gotten her anywhere good, had they? No. Her judgement might be slightly, just slightly, impaired at the moment--but the results seemed good so far. How long that would remain her opinion had yet to be seen, but she felt assured that it would be a while yet.

The pitch of Fionn's voice when he agreed with her about articulation made her laugh. Not an unkind laugh, at least not in intent, she just couldn't help it. It was cute, she thought. Charming. This was her opinion of a lot of things about him, really. It was true enough though--they did have that in common, didn't they? Usually Aurelie was much more focused on every odd gaff or weird thing she was saying to notice. Besides, when he did things like this it was charming--she was just ridiculous. Still, a quality they shared and she liked it, it made her smile.

Aurelie wasn't sure what to make of his expression when he looked at her when she let her hands go where they wanted--considering, but was it bad or...? No--not bad, she didn't think, at least she hoped not. He kissed her and smiled, and some part of her absolutely melted. That was very unfair. How was she supposed to handle that? Was she supposed to be able to--to make sound decisions, despite that statement, that laugh, that expression? Unreasonable. Completely unreasonable. She would be sure to say so, should anyone ask. Briefly Aurelie imagined having to explain herself to someone--well you see, I can't be held responsible; have you even looked at his face, really?--and the picture was so absurd she almost giggled again. Almost. Moony, that's what she was.

"T-that's. Good. Uhm." Aurelie had told him, in essence, to put his hands wherever he wanted--she was still surprised when he did so, pulling her closer. Not at all upset, happy really, but definitely surprised. She made some kind of small sound, as pleased as it was startled. She had no interest in pulling away. Which was, she reminded herself for the umpteenth time, foolish of her. Should that door swing open there was no saving either of them, tangled up as they were. Nobody would come in though--probably.

Admitting out loud even a small bit of what she wanted had broken a reserve in her. It had been terrifying, saying that, but it was true and she didn't regret it. The admission on top of the increased closeness of their bodies woke up a dormant part of her. The girl wasn't suddenly confident or assured, but she was certainly less restrained, her hands drifting to the hem of his shirt to try to wiggle underneath it. Fionn's attitude had changed too--she didn't know what had shifted, but something clearly had. Fionn's mouth found hers again and he pulled her towards him and--oh.

"Oh!" Of course she said it out loud, too, because that was possibly the most embarrassing thing she could have done. She even had to pull back a little from him to do it, considering as up until that moment her mouth had been rather occupied.

Somehow up until this point she hadn't really considered the... finer points of the differences between their bodies. Not that she had forgotten that he was a man, at all, for even a moment--if that weren't true a lot of things about this entire experience would be rather different. It was one thing to know, however, and it was another thing to be very... reminded. Especially considering her rather vague awareness of the particulars. Hmm. Childish rumors and stories from people who, ultimately, did not know much more than she did were very poor groundwork indeed. She supposed that ran both ways, of course, but with her things didn't exactly assert themselves. So to speak.

"O-oh. Okay. I, uhm. I will then." Her mouth was dry and the words all came out strangled. Aurelie pressed her mouth to his jaw instead, trying to cover up her embarrassment and distract at the same time.

Her hands had paused trying to get under Fionn's shirt when he pulled her towards him. After what felt like an agonizing eternity to her (and possibly him as well), she let them continue. He had said she could touch him, hadn't he? And she did want to, still. More now, not at all less. Maybe--maybe not-- Well. She would keep her hands a bit higher, for the moment at least. She wanted to skim her touch over his sides and towards his back. Truthfully she had been startled and with it some of her nervousness had returned, but she wanted it to go away. The only way around is through, she thought, absurdly. Even if her pulse was hammering so hard she thought she might, quite possibly, have some kind of medical condition. Even if some part of her brain had short-circuited, even if maybe that part had been vital and now all she could think about was skin and muscle and wanting.

[Fionn]

Hamis 32, 2719 | Midday
Laboratory Beta

.

Neither of them were that reluctant anymore, not even Aurelie who had been quite nervous and unsure of herself from the outset. The whole thing was a bit ludicrous maybe, if you looked at it from the right perspective, given the way the pair seemed to take turns laughing and giggling as if they could both see the joke, instead of suffering from a mix of giddiness and nervous excitement. After this, they’d probably both see just how ridiculous this situation had been, the two of them grieving and having started their encounter with tears and misery and shared deep emotions. Now they were wrapped around each other sucking face as if none of that had happened. There was still a lot of emotion here and plenty of sharing but it was of a different sort — laughingly different. It was good though, wonderfully cathartic and while later, Fionn would wonder what the fuck he’d been doing but right now…

Right now, he was highly aware that he had a wonderful warm body pressed up against his own. He certainly wouldn’t be complaining about it — or considering it too deeply either. Probably the kitchen maid didn’t think too much about it either, even when he grabbed her erse and tugged her into him. Her mouth was greedily enthusiastic on his, hungry and eager so she certainly didn’t have any qualms about this. Except when she pulled away to go ‘oh’.

It was rather obvious what the sound was in response to but he was surprised, almost embarrassed by how she’d drawn back to actually voice her surprise, as if it was something worth announcing. Fionn found himself caught between the desire to look a bit sheepish and to laugh. It was funny — in a weird way — but only because it was so bizarre and unexpected. She was actually surprised, genuinely caught off guard by what she’d found pressed up against her. He’d had men make that sound before but with a different inflection — amusement, interest, lust, even disappointment. Hers was just flat out shock as if she’d never expected it to happen because in truth, she probably hadn’t expected it at all. Maybe he should have warned her after all but only because he hadn’t thought that it would be that big a deal. And he’d probably been right — she didn’t seem uncomfortable and hadn’t recoiled so it was fine.

Maybe they were both a little embarrassed, the young man awkward because he wasn’t used to these things being awkward, and his companion stuttering a bit. Even as she moved closer, lips finding his jaw, he found the need to say something. If she’d targeted his mouth then maybe the servant would have been able to suppress the urge, especially as his lips would have been too occupied to get anything out and reluctant to put space between them so that he could. Instead, he found that he had an absurd desire to apologise.

“Sorry about um… the uh… mmm,” he managed intelligently. He chuckled weakly. Gods, words were really difficult sometimes. He suddenly had no idea how to refer to anything without it sounding childish or using a euphemism that went over her head. As it was, he’d been vague and he hoped that it was enough because now that he’d gotten that much out, he had no idea how to continue and no desire to do so. If he really wanted to illustrate matters, he could always wiggle his hips but nope, he wasn’t going to do that, least of all because it’d drive him around the bend.

“Sorry,” he murmured again. “I’d say take no notice but uh… that’s easy for me to say.”

The joke was a weak one and somewhat untrue in any case. Yes, it would probably take some getting used to on her part, especially as things hadn’t peaked yet but it was more difficult for him rather than being easier; after all, he had to feel it. It might be possible to forget about a body part sometimes but not when it was hollering at you and getting louder. His trousers were starting to feel a bit constricting as well but she didn’t know that — and it was her fault.

Of course, it was so awful, he just… threw himself right back into things! He kept one hand under her, supporting rather than feeling, keeping her close while the other hand slid up her back and into her hair. His mouth was left free to keep saying whatever came to mind, although mainly he just made sounds. Appreciative, needful, occasionally her name almost under his breath. Moans and groans were what he managed for the most part but he did squeeze some words out in an approximation of speech.

“You’re so- You’re really- Good Lady! I like you, Aura. I like- Have I told you that I-” he puffed out, clinging to her tightly. He could have pulled her mouth back to his, he could have but he settled for the odd kiss wherever he could aim it, fingers pawing through her hair. Such nice hair, soft hair, sweet hair. Everything was down to senses now rather than thoughts which was why it was difficult to keep anything in his mind that required even an ounce of sense or higher brain function.

“P-Pretty. Really, you’re so-”

He bit off his words with a groan. The fingers in her hair found the couch back to steady him as he shifted position. The leg that had been resting across her lap moved to the other side as he lifted himself, intending to kneel on the other side, pinning her in as he straddled her.

“Soft. Lovely and soft,” Fionn murmured, his fingers finding her hair again, threading through it and pulling slightly to coax her head back, to get her to look up. Even with his knees on either side of her, he’d have height over her so she would indeed have to look up. The hand on her erse left it reluctantly for the sake of balance. He’d try to catch her eye, panting with exertion although he’d really done very little.

“Too much?” he asked gently, some sanity returning to him amidst the rush of lust. He didn’t want this to be too much for her, he had to hold onto that. He aimed for a cocky grin but managed something a bit shy instead, a certain hope in his eyes.

“Do you want… to switch places?”

If she did then he’d be happy to shift around to accommodate her, a little awkward and clumsy even with her cooperation, the foot he’d been sitting on for many minutes now racked with pins and needles. It’d be funny though, the young man unable to stop himself from giggling until she ended up in his lap instead.

[Aurelie Steerpike]

Aurelie had moved her mouth to Fionn's jaw both because she wanted to--if she kept moving, she could feel his pulse, which was oddly thrilling--and to avoid making any kind of eye contact. The last thing she wanted was to know how absurd he thought she was, because she would only get worse and that might put him off and--well. Better to just not look at him directly and avoid the chance of it entirely. That left his mouth free, of course, to say things to her. When the first thing he said back to her was an apology, she couldn't help but laugh a little herself. Gods above, how either of them functioned was truly a mystery.

"Mm," was all she managed in response, a hum from the back of her throat that was likely felt more than heard. Why had she had to say something out loud? Later she would replay the moment in her mind and kick herself even more than she was managing at present. For now she managed to put some of that awkwardness aside, more interested in letting nerves do all her thinking for her. Tangled up close as they were, she had plenty of room to move her hands over his torso. The feeling of skin under her fingertips, she thought in a daze, was still so pleasantly strange. Soft and flat except where it wasn't, and somehow even the texture of all the scars on him felt precious to her. No lazy circles now as she'd done before; instead all her movements were restless, grasping.

Every needy sound Fionn made was music to her ears. Never before had the sound of her own name given her so much pleasure to hear as when he said it now almost too quiet for her to catch. Aurelie responded in kind, quiet mumbling noises that were even less like speech than anything he was doing. She felt too heavy and too light at the same time. The girl wasn't sure she'd survive this, at this rate--she was burning up.

"Y-you, I..." Of course he'd said that he liked her, she remembered him doing so. Even called her pretty, which she didn't think was true but was flattering just the same. As long as he thought it was, she supposed, that was all she really cared about. Aurelie grasped at things to say back between pressing kisses to his jaw, his throat, behind his ear. Grasped too at his hip, not really noticing how she was rucking his shirt up with her other hand.

"I like-- I really-- Too, you're--" All that she could manage was some confused answering babble. A small distressed noise escaped her when Fionn's hand left her hair to steady himself on the couch, though she forgot instantly when he moved his other leg to shift position.

"Uhm!" Did that count as a response? She didn't know. She didn't really care, either--she had to look up at him and was caught there. His eyes were dark and his breath was heavy and she could really, truly look at him making that face for the whole rest of her life. That her own expression was the same, flushed and wanting, didn't seem important or relevant. "T-too...? No, not... no. Not too much. Uhm." He absolutely had to stop smiling at her like that if he wanted to ask her questions and get responses in actual Estuan and not just soft gasping sounds she didn't know she was capable of making.

Accordingly, when he asked if she wanted to switch places, she decided it was probably better if she answered him by just doing it instead of fumbling through making the appropriate noises. The shift was graceless and clumsy, not aided at all by his giggling that set her off in turn. Neither was it helped by the fact that she thought it was a good idea to stop and take off her shoes, glad she'd worn a pair that ended at the ankle and didn't have quite as much lacing as her usual boots. It was just intolerable to keep putting them on the upholstery. They managed it in the end, and she found herself straddled across his lap with her skirts managing to hike themselves up over her knees and up her thighs. No skin of hers exposed still, her stockings too high for that, but she could feel with new clarity the warmth of his body underneath of her. Somehow this felt more dangerous still than the way they'd been before.

"Uh," she managed to squeak. Sitting on his lap really... really made a lot of things more obvious. Eye contact was also easier, her face a little more level with his. Aurelie liked that in this moment, catching his eye and smiling. She probably looked absolutely foolish; she knew the face she was making was impossibly fond, soft with affection. That was fine though. She really did like him, more every moment. This was how people came to make very poor decisions indeed.

Her hands hadn't managed to find their way back to his torso, so instead she trailed one gently up the side of his neck and around the curve of his ear to settle a thumb on his cheek. The pad of her thumb stroked across his cheekbone slowly. Aurelie's green eyes studied him through lowered lashes. "Beautiful" was the word that came to mind; she wasn't sure it was one that one be appreciated so she kept it to herself. She wanted--she didn't know what to do now that she was here. Something. A fingertip from her other hand slid between the buttons at his collar, questioningly.

"S-so. Er. What... what now? I--uhm." Her hips tilted forward, just a little and without her awareness, to curve her spine and press herself a little closer.

[Fionn]

Hamis 32, 2719 | Midday
Laboratory Beta

.

Had it ever been this fun before? Had he ever laughed this much while in the middle of making out? Yes, sexual things could be fun but he didn’t think that he’d actually enjoyed himself quite this much… ever? There wasn’t an ultimate purpose here, no end goal that he was striving towards as he so often did. The contact they were indulging in wasn’t a means to an end as was so often the case for him. Ironically, this was the one time that the usual end was beyond his grasp, the one thing that he couldn’t have — not with Aura, not ever.

Maybe it was the fact that he was taking his time, not aimless exactly but unfocused, open to whatever might happen, simply willing to let lust and curiosity drive him. This time, he was interested in the journey rather than the destination and maybe that was why he could laugh. Then again, maybe it could have been like this with men, especially in the beginning if things had taken a normal course. If he hadn’t had sex defined for him in such black and white terms, pure physicality, no real emotion, just detachment. And during the time of discovery, the time when he should have been finding his feet with men, when he had the chance to learn these things, Fionn had known fear and guilty, disgust-laden pleasure.

But he could laugh now because he was discovering things all over again, so many new things to enjoy. Yes, there was pleasure tinged with familiarity and remembrance, but even that somehow carried novelty because Aura was a girl and he hadn’t done this with a girl before. It was pleasant and he could be awkward, nervous, excited, all of it — with her.

Fionn couldn’t help but laugh as he shifted around because he was so clumsy, painfully clumsy. He felt gawky as he had done after he’d had his last growth spurt a few years ago, ungainly as he tried to manoeuvre limbs that felt unfamiliar and new. It was odd to be experiencing an earlier stage of his adolescence anew but it just added to the hilarity of it all. Aurelie laughed as well, maybe set off by his amusement or laughing at him — he didn’t much care — and her laughter only added to his own, the desire to giggle growing all the stronger.

The young man was glad to have their positions reversed at last. He would have managed okay if he’d have to remain in her lap — hovering really — but he would have been above her, liable to crush her if he wasn’t careful. Not that she’d seemed to care. Her gaze as he’d looked down on her had been intoxicating and his breath had caught, heart fluttering for a moment because there was a galaxy of meaning in her eyes but so much beyond his depth — more than mere lust at any event. He hadn’t known what to do with that but she’d given him permission to shift them around and it was far less complicated once she was straddling him instead. Far less complicated as she pressed into him, the young woman squeaking as she settled against his groin and the teenager shivering. The squeak was amusing and drew another laugh from him, light, breathy and shuddering with his body.

“Sweet Lady!” he breathed, eyelids fluttering closed for a moment because it was good to have her where she was, honestly wonderful. The kitchen maid had no idea what she was doing to him, she really didn’t. He might be dying a little, unravelling moment by moment. This was entirely her fault—okay, maybe a little bit his own fault—but it was worth it. It’d feel a bit like dying when things reached their height. Probably like dying. The seemingly random firings of the nervous system, the loss of control as things jerked, the near unbearable pressure that has been building within — almost painful but exquisitely so — that burst all at once so that you were left deflated, empty, at peace — surely that was death?

He let his gaze rove over what her hiked skirts had revealed, her stocking-clad limbs exciting to behold. Honestly, they were quite titillating sheathed in fabric so that he could see enough but not all, probably more titillating than mere bare flesh because the mystery remained. Her thighs were wider than he would have expected, the thickness of flesh soft and yielding rather than taut and muscular. He found that out easily enough as his hand moved above her knee, skimming and then lightly squeezing without giving any forethought to the action; he was motivated purely by instinct and like a child, he had simply seen something that fascinated and gone to grab it.

And then she asked what came next, so hesitant and unsure and he raised his eyes to meet hers. Was he supposed to say that he didn’t know? In this instance, he didn’t. They were both passives, their privacy hardly guaranteed and while an encounter with a passive of the same sex might make one of the overseers cross if they happened upon it, this… If they were discovered here, especially with any skin uncovered, there would be hell to pay. It wasn’t hell that he was thinking about though. No, Fionn was thinking about how disappointing it would be to start something and not have the chance to finish it.

And he was curious, so very curious.

“We uh… We could um…” he began hesitantly, hand moving back through his hair as he was wont to do when he was uncertain and thinking. It was while he was considering his words so he could continue that she shifted in such a way that she pressed into him in a way that set something flashing through his body, something electric so that his heart seemed to stutter. The youth cried out, the wordless exclamation almost pained as he shivered beneath her, fingers gripping briefly so that one hand bit into her thigh and the other dug into her side where it had been resting.

“Fuck, Aura! Are you trying-” the teenager gasped out, unable to finish it as he guided her mouth to his, the kiss greedy and passionate, one hand now on the small of her back while the other rested on her hip. The blond drew back, licking his lips as he gazed at her hungrily. He wanted her, needed her in a way that was clocking near painful.

He used his hands to pull her into him at the same moment that he tilted his own hips so that he pressed up against her, trying to be gentle about it.

“Your fault. Entirely your fault,” he explained, although there was no accusation there; it was playful, a smile perched crookedly on his mouth. “You did this, do you realise?” The awkwardness that had stilled his tongue before was absent now but there seemed little room for misinterpretation in any case.

He tilted his head up so that she could access the buttons at his collar more readily, letting his hands skim up her sides, stroking lightly up and down as he questioned seeking permission. How many layers? So difficult to feel things through layers. He added a new section to his repetition, allowing his hands to slide across the region of her stomach before returning to her sides, almost circling the area that he was really interested in.

“You could… open my shirt. Take it off if you want,” he told her, shrugging lightly, the picture of nonchalance. But it wasn’t real, teeth picking at his bottom lip and the inside of his cheek as he considered how to broach this, wondering if it would put her off, more scared that she’d ask about it. It was why he needed to tell her before she made the discovery herself and curiosity took over.

“I… I-I-I have scars. Less in front but- b-b-but I-”

He gulped, eyes scrunching tightly shut as he steeled himself.

“I have a bite. O-O-On my shoulder. It’s n-n-not there for a g-g-good reason, I didn’t- I never asked- I just thought… you should know. Th-that it’s there, I mean.”

[Aurelie Steerpike]

To have begun this day feeling so empty and hollowed out of every good thing that had ever been inside her and ended up here laughing on Fionn's lap was nothing short of a miracle, as far as she was concerned. The sorrow was waiting for her, she knew, and it wasn't like her problems had disappeared, but they had no place in this moment. A distraction, maybe, but also a firm reminder that she was alive. That things could hurt and they could also be wonderful.

Her thoughts weren't so lofty as all that though, not really. Aurelie liked Fionn, and she wanted him, and it felt good to settle against him in this way, and that was all that really mattered to her now. Every shudder and shiver was new and wonderful. Aurelie let her mind preserve all of it, to fold up and put away inside of her heart. If this was the first and last chance she ever got... Well, she didn't want it to be, but she wasn't ever supposed to have even this much. She felt some kind of electric shudder wrack her when he grabbed at her thigh. All of her was crumbling to something soft and yielding, wanting to collapse against him. Was this normal, or was he just special? Aurelie didn't know; it didn't matter, either, but she suspected it was a little of both. Keep going, she wanted to say, but didn't.

Aurelie truly didn't know what should happen next. There was, she was dimly aware, a kind of goal one could strive towards in the general way of things. That was something they couldn't have, even if they wanted to. Aurelie wasn't actually certain what would happen, if... if things got to that level, and--she didn't know, but she was sure it wasn't good. So she didn't really know where that left them now, or if there was a where to be left. She had shifted against him unconsciously and the reaction she got out of Fionn was unexpected. His hands hands dug into her body--firm, she liked them very much--and it made her hunger to do it again. Make him cry out like that again. Aurelie's mouth was caught in a kiss before she could say anything. Devouring, ravenous, the feeling going through all of her; when he broke away to look at her she let her teeth briefly catch his lip.

"Ah, y-you..." Fionn tilted his hips to press up against her in playful accusation. Had she done that? She liked knowing that she could. A power she didn't think she had, even as she felt unravelled by it. "Y-you're... you're have plenty of effect on me, you know." She was a little shy as she said it, not sure how to articulate something so new. Her teeth caught at her lower lip as she smiled. Then, unsure: "I-is that bad...?" Aurelie felt good, more than good, excellent, even if she thought she was going to die any minute now despite them not having done much of anything. She hoped--she didn't want to--she wanted everything she did, accidentally or by design, to be good, too.

Aurelie shivered, though the room was warm enough. (Or was that just her?) There was a question in the way he ran his hands over her sides and across her stomach. The same one she'd been asking? Aurelie watched his face as Fionn shrugged, giving her the permission she wanted, but...

"I know. Er," she swallowed and hastened to clarify, "I s-saw. Before. The... other time, in Professor Keyes'... Sorry. I--" Aurelie bit her lip, stemming the tide of words she could feel building up. Most of them were useless. The girl leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his brow, ran a touch along the side of his face.

"I won't ask, unless you wanted to tell me. It's okay." Her tone was gentle. Aurelie had learned from her mistake before; she wouldn't press, unless he wanted to tell her. "A-and I mean--even if... N-not now but, anytime you..." Now it was her turn to shrug, unsure. "...There's time, i-if you wanted to. Later. It's not like I'm... I'm not going anywhere."

And she really wasn't, she realized. Her decision had felt unsettled, until this moment. She had already told her sister no, but Ana hadn't listened, and Aurelie had wondered. A part of her didn't know if she'd said it because she meant it or just because she was testing her sister's resolve. Now she did. She didn't want to, at least--at least not as she was. Though this was just a very, very small part of her decision, she couldn't deny that she knew that if she went with her sister she would never see Fionn again. It was silly, but the idea made her sad. Maybe, if there wasn't everything else, she would have done it anyway; there was, and she wouldn't.

The decision made her feel a little lighter. He didn't know, couldn't know, but she was grateful for the little push to settle that piece of her heart. Aurelie didn't move to undo any buttons for a moment, just left her hands where they were and watched him. Then her gaze turned to the door, thinking. Weighing. When it turned back to Fionn's face she had reached another, different decision. Aurelie's hand's didn't move to Fionn's buttons but instead to the back of her pinafore, undoing the tie and shrugging out of it, then to her own. She swallowed hard, desire and fear mixed together, before undoing them halfway. Enough.

There were layers under her shirt, of course, a complicated series of them, but the v-shaped neckline and thin material of her chemise did little to cover the burn that stretched across the span of her chest from collarbone to the top swell of her breasts. It was, even after so many years, stark against her skin. Most if it was flat, color being the primary marker, but enough of it had raised up to form a shape almost like a web in places. Aurelie hunched her shoulders and didn't look at Fionn, unsure if she had done too much. When she'd thought to do it, it had felt like--like fair exchange. Now she just felt stupid and vulnerable.

"T-there's others. This is just the... Uhm. So it's, ah." Aurelie stopped talking and laughed, feeling self-conscious. Her tongue darted out to wet her lips and she turned her eyes back to Fionn, hopeful that they could keep going but unsure if she'd spoiled things. Her hands reached out to touch him again, to start undoing buttons like she wanted to before. Aurelie watched his face for hesitation, or refusal, or... or anything that told her she had ruined things after all, and should stop.