[Mature] My Color Comes Back

[caporushes]

15th of Dentis, 2719 - Late Evening
Ana's Room, Brunnhold Campus

The time it took her to dress had been enough to get herself under control. When she re-emerged from the small bathroom, Ana had settled both her face and her field into some semblance of order. If not the unruffled face that she preferred, close enough to it. She was fresh-scrubbed, no trace of cosmetics remaining. A little pink remained in her skin, from the friction of the towel against it.

Ana had seen that flash of defiance on her sister's face, so much like their father's--and so much like her own, too. Aurelie had been obedient in the end, for which Ana was grateful. She would have been forced to press the issue. Re-dressing had refreshed her sufficiently to the point that she didn't even flinch when her sister had very nearly, unthinkingly, called her "ma'am". She let out a sigh when the bathroom door clicked shut, and turned to look at Niccolette.

Would the other woman stay, if she asked her to? After all, it wasn't as if it would take her such a long time to walk Aurelie back to her room. There was time yet to the night; it didn't have to end, if they didn't wish it to. Ana very nearly considered it; she didn't, in the end. She wasn't sure that she would have wanted Niccolette to say yes if she had. Ana enjoyed her company, and she was a very lovely companion indeed, but Ana's mood veered dangerously close to melancholy. She was not quite sure how long she could keep her thoughts in array. What if she did something truly dreadful, like cried? No, it was best to end the evening here. Even if she was disappointed after all--there was nothing for it.

"Of course," Ana agreed as she crossed the room to stand near Niccolette. She let her snap the front busk closed herself, and then moved to take the silk ribbons in careful, competent hands. "Do let me know if there's too much or too little tension." First the middle, to a careful two inches width. Ana frowned and took it in just a little more--it did not seem quite as firm as it should have been. As she took down the slack, working from top to bottom, she thought of what there was left to say.

"This is not quite how I pictured this evening going, if you can believe it," Ana offered lightly, her mouth curving to an unseen smile. "Although is isn't the strangest one I've spent."

Here Ana hesitated, for once well and truly unsure of how to move forward. She wasn't quite willing to let it end here; she knew that it very well might. She tied the lacing in the back, a knot that a maid could easily undo. "If..." No, she wouldn't say this to the back of Niccolette's shoulder blades like a coward. Ana moved to face the Bastian again, more firm in her smile.

"I should be happy to tell you about that, too, if you should wish. Another time. Perhaps--" Ana cast her eyes to the bathroom door. A warmth crept into her expression that she couldn't quite contain. "Aurelie doesn't live with me, yet."

There was laughter in the offer. Ana didn't think it was likely, but felt that she should make it all the same. One never did know.

[Niccolette Ibutatu]

Late Evening, 15 Dentis, 2719
Ana's Room, Brunnhold Campus

Ana had sighed, softly, when the bathroom door shut. Niccolette carefully did not look over. She wondered, for a moment, if Ana would ask her to stay – to wait. She did not think so; the mood of the evening had been sturdier than it might have been, knocked about by hesitant moments, here and there, by Giuseppe’s unexpected revelations, not cooled in the least by the walk back through campus and the careful, public conversation.

This had shattered it; Niccolette had no wish to cut her fingers on the shards in the attempt to put it back together. She was tired, she found, very tired; she would meditate, and, when she felt ready, she would sleep.

Niccolette snapped the front busk closed, and breathed deeply. Ana began to do up the laces, then; Niccolette said nothing, and thought, too, very little, watching the play of the firelight through the grate, casting strange shapes against the rug and the blanket.

“Nor mine,” Niccolette admitted, smiling somewhat unexpectedly, in response to Ana’s mention of it being a strange evening, but not the strangest; she did not offer to share the story of hers. She felt the pressure settle, steady; she thought she knew the moment when Ana’s hands eased away. The other woman came around her, and Niccolette looked at her, ever so slightly up.

“Perhaps,” Niccolette said, quietly. The word, said aloud, had rather more of the sound of a no than she had intended. Niccolette paused, tongue running lightly over bare lips. It had been a thoroughly strange evening; not nearly, she thought, the strangest she had had. Not painful strange; just unpleasant, like a soup which smells one way and tastes another.

“More than likely the next months shall find me in Brunnhold again,” Niccolette said, then. Tomorrow she had a ticket to return to Vienda; even if she had not, she did not think she would have offered to see the other woman. She smiled. “I shall see whether I can manage a trip to Muffey.”

She thought of mentioning Vienda, the Belleverie, of offering – Ana was, Niccolette thought, a remarkably beautiful woman. Niccolette felt now there was an understanding between them, one which was unexpectedly relieving, of where things might lie; it took the edge off of a pressure she had not known she felt, and did not wish to think more deeply about. Niccolette offered nothing more, in the end, but she smiled, all the same, and it was more promise than consolation.

Niccolette went to gather up her dress, easy, as ever, in whatever she chose to wear against her skin. She settled out all the layers she and Ana had so eagerly removed, and began to put them back on, one after another, with the ease of familiarity. There was little use, now, for leaving them aside; there was little use, now, in being uncovered.

[caporushes]

15th of Dentis, 2719 - Late Evening
Ana's Room, Brunnhold Campus

Perhaps--a maybe that was almost always a no, in the end. Ana couldn't deny that she was disappointed, if not surprised. She had been looking forward to the company; most of her old friends had faded away. Some to time, and some to distance. Many to her newly eccentric reputation. Ana did not think Niccolette Ibutatu to be the most beautiful woman she had ever met, though she couldn't bring to mind of who was, if not her; she was, however, very singular, which was more important.

The smile, then, surprised her--it felt less final than the "perhaps" had been. Ana returned it, and didn't press any more. Perhaps, indeed. Life could be a strange thing.

"If you can manage."

Aurelie emerged from the bathroom, looking no less wobbly but certainly with less flour in her hair and on her face. The uniform, Ana noted, she hadn't done much with--Ana did hope she had a spare. Discomfort squirmed in her heart when she realized that she knew much less than she would have liked to about the material circumstances of her sister's life. Her Brunnhold years felt so far away--but even the, she hadn't known. She'd had no reason to know, or even to ask.

Next time she came, Ana thought firmly to herself, she would have a dress made for her. Something nice, in a flattering fawn brown, or green. Surely she would be allowed to have it; and if not, Ana would make it so that she was. Niccolette had finished dressing before Aurelie appeared. Ana saw her to the door, and they parted ways in the hall--the Steerpike sisters to go further into the University campus, and Niccolette to return to where she was staying. Wherever that happened to be.

Their walk was unhurried. Ana took her sister's hand, as she had when they were children. Aurelie didn't protest, and blinked a sort of sleepy smile at her. She didn't think the hurt had quite been eased. It would fade with time, Ana thought. Time and a change of circumstances. The school was not silent, but it was quiet; if anything thought much of a lady like Lilliana Steerpike walking hand-in-hand with a blue-uniformed child of the University, they said nothing to either of them. It was easy enough to slip into a light conversation about days gone by, more recent stories of relatives whose faces Aurelie had not seen in so long she doubted the girl remembered any of them--about nothing at all.

"I didn't get a chance to apologize," Aurelie paused at her door with a frown. Her voice had slipped into something quiet and meek that Ana didn't like to hear. She raised an arm to spin the bracelet; Ana pointedly looked away. That was going to be an obstacle. But an obstacle for another day.

"There's nothing to apologize for, dearest--consider it all forgiven." Ana laid a hand against Aurelie's freckled cheek. She remembered, with a sudden fierceness, that cheek at one and two years old; those freckles had been fewer then, and just starting to come in. Ana fought back a wave of tenderness that threatened to overwhelm her. Did you know? I had always wanted to be a big sister. I'm glad it is to you.

Her hand slipped away and she smiled; her field was bastly and bright. She didn't think Aurelie could tell, but it was all the same.

"I will come and see you again, soon. I'm not sure when, but..." Ana shook her head; Aurelie looked understanding, patient. And a little relieved. "Goodnight, Aura."

"Goodnight," Aurelie echoed, smile soft and drowsy. Ana stayed outside of her door for a minute or two after the girl herself disappeared behind it. Then she turned on her heel and began the walk back to her room.