[Memory] I'll Cry If I Want To (Lars)

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Fionn
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Thu Jan 03, 2019 5:37 pm

Roalis 25, 2710
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Being told that it was only his first day, as if this situation would get better, easier even, was no consolation to the child at all. The notion that this was his life now was a miserable one, especially as the shift wore on and he was introduced to new forms of labour to do with clothing. Dull, tedious and exhausting, the boy was almost brought to tears on many an occasion as the hours passed but in truth, he was too weary to have energy to expend on crying. There were muscles he hadn't known existed, each individual one seeming leaden and aching. His legs hurt, his arms hurt, his back hurt and his neck. He was all just one big ache but somehow the boy pressed on, a mix of grim determination and utter terror about what would happen if he were to rest. Even so, he couldn't continue forever, growing slower and slower as time wore on and a total stop seemed inevitable.

When Lars said that they'd done enough for the day, the child wilted, legs almost giving out from under him in his relief. If he had the choice, he would have simply folded to collapse on the ground and ideally not move again. However, the older boy was talking about rooms and dorms and so the child sighed, dragging a hand over his exhausted face.

"I- Yeah, I don't know where my dorm is. Too many places in this place," he mumbled, scratching his head as he tried to remember what felt like literal eons ago since before this shift had started. Eons ago when he'd been too busy bawling his eyes out to notice much of anything. He could remember the name of his patron, the one who'd clipped him about the ear and his roommates...

"The man in charge where my room is... he brought me here. His name is... Leon and he showed me my room but... I don't know where it is from here."

The blond shrugged and winced when he did it, grimacing after it. Everything ached and he didn't know if it was ever going to stop. He certainly didn't want to walk back to a dorm right now but he also didn't want to wander around aimlessly on his own. He needed Lars' help because he couldn't manage on his own. Fionn couldn't have managed today without him.

"I think... I think one of the boys in the room with me is A... Ay... Ay-something. I don't know. I can't do it on my own. I don't know where to go and if you don't help me... if I walk around on my own, will I get in trouble?" he asked in a small voice as he trotted after the bigger boy, resisting the urge to reach out and cling to him. He wasn't some wee boy who would still cling to his mother's skirts, even if he did still have a mother so he was certainly too big to cling to one of his fellows.

The child followed him closely, chewing on his lip as he tried to memorise his surroundings, looking around him with greater awareness now and a little bit of curiosity. He'd always been a curious child and it hadn't changed now. He was miserable, sure, but that didn't make his surroundings any less new. Yes, the circumstances weren't what he would have liked but this was still Brunnhold, the place that Niamh had talked so enthusiastically about. Unfortunately, he hadn't seen anything to get excited about, not yet.

"Do you know where to go? Are you... are you near me?" he asked, steam reddened face tilted up towards the taller blond with hope that was almost radiant. Oh, he wanted this boy to be his friend and if he wasn't near then how could he be?

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Lars
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: nil igitur mors est ad nos
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Fri Jan 04, 2019 9:59 pm

Roalis 25, 2710
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The mention of Leon brought Lars to nod, picking out the hallway in his mind and turning to walk instead in that direction. He glanced down to the child, noticing the way his little body winced in pain as he shrugged, well aware of how hard on the body their work could be. He had grown accustomed to the nature of hard labor in the last eight years, and so his arms and back didn't ache with every move he made, but he could remember the mornings where getting out of bed at all was a physical struggle, and falling onto the mattress each night felt like heaven.

Nowadays, everything was nothing but routine. No mattress or promise of rest brought him any sense of comfort, just as his body refused to ache even after long hours at work. He almost longed for the sensation of pain, if only for a moment.

"Ayden?" the older tried, looking forwards again as he walked, "he knows where to go, yes. You're not in the same wing as him, but you're not that far from here."

Lars shook his head, continuing to walk at a brisk but not horribly fast pace, not wanting to wear out the boy's shorter legs, "he's never gotten in trouble for it. If someone asks what he's doing, he just tells them he's working."

The passive slipped his hands into his pockets, the redness from hot water fading slowly but surely. His golden-blonde hair was darkened from the steam, pushed back and away from his forehead to keep the short strands out of his eyes, and the knees of his trousers were damp from sitting to remain at the child's height most of the day.

"You're in this wing," he offered, leading the boy into the long hall, passing doors on either side.

"He believes Ayden is... here."

Stopping suddenly, it was clear that the older passive had just been walking absentmindedly and just now remembered their destination. Lars pulled a hand from his pocket, reaching out to knock on the door and looking down to the child as he did so.

"You're going to do fine here. It's very hard at first, he knows, but he's made it just fine," said Lars, "and you can always try to find him if you need help again. He's always in the kitchens and the laundry rooms, like today."
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Fionn
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Tue Jan 15, 2019 4:03 pm

Roalis 25, 2710
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So tired.

Fionn didn't think he'd ever been this tired before. Not only did everything ache but his limbs felt heavy, difficult to move so he ended up dragging his feet a bit, finding it easier to shuffle along, head hanging down. In spite of the heaviness and the pain, he also felt strangely floaty as if he was on the edge of sleep. There was that dreamy blur to his vision, a heaviness to his eyelids that made him feel that if he just closed his eyes that he'd fall asleep, not just while standing but while walking. Lars was moving briskly enough though that the blond child had to jerk himself properly awake to hop forward a few steps before lapsing back into his exhausted shuffle. Every time the little hop happened, which was quite frequent, Fionn felt like the floor was rising up to meet him, the boy feeling as if he was pitching forward every time he did it. If he'd been older and had that sort of experience then he might have likened it to something alcohol-related. As it was, he had no idea what was happening to him.

"Ayden," he sounded out, slurring slightly as he rolled the syllables over his tongue, nodding. Yeah, he remembered the name now, that was it, it was a good thing that this older boy knew things or Fionn would be in a fair bit of bother. It was good to know the name.

Names.

The idea of asking the older boy his name appeared and then just slid out of his mind, the act of walking taking up too much effort for him to keep it in his head. It was too difficult to keep ahold of too much information at once, to try to walk and talk and think and listen. Something had to go. More than one something. He found himself unconsciously mimicking Lars by sticking his hands in his pockets, finding an odd relief in doing so because it felt slightly less exhausting having material support his arms rather than empty air. It was amazing what difference it made, not having his arms swinging by his sides, useless and directionless. It was a welcome relief.

Lars talked and Fionn listened, absorbing words in a sluggish fashion. Near the laundry. Good. He might get there before his legs gave out and he pitched forward onto his face. If Lars was aware of his exhaustion, he didn't seem bothered about it, certainly not slowing his pace to accommodate the poor labour worn little passive. The blond wasn't used to work, never mind this kind of work and for so long. While the older boy had built strength and endurance, the child felt like a puff of breath would topple him. He was in a very unsteady equilibrium right now, somehow continuing to move forward, the draw of gravity seeming to keep him standing rather than landing him on his front or on his back.

They came to a stop, the pair apparently having reached their destination, the door that he stood before not giving him much to distinguish it from the others. So much the same, so little difference, he didn't know if he'd be able to find it again. He'd have to learn his way around this horrible, awful place with these people. People who probably weren't always as nice as the one beside him. No one else had been nice and he hoped that his roommate would be just as nice. As his gaze the door opened, he looked up hopefully at... a truly gigantic man. His head was tilted right back, mouth hanging open as he stared up at the brown haired man who was many inches taller than Lars was.

"Hello," he greeted in a tiny voice, brown bloodshot eyes wide and staring. The tall freckled young man peered down at him with a brow raised, gaze flicking up to Lars before looking away with disinterest.

"Well hello there. You'd be my new little roommate then. Leon told me about you," Ayden explained, Fionn fascinated with the gravelly quality to his voice. The dark haired boy extended his hand and the blond peered at it, blinking owlishly. The brown eyes went up to his roommate's face, taking in the smirk then back down to where the other now gave his fingers a little wiggle. The reject Madden reached out and took it uncertainly, giving it a careful shake. The hand that took his was warm, the grip firm but gentle and Fionn managed a shy little smile.

"Right, in you come, mate, don't be shy. I'll give you a tour," Ayden commented wryly, making a sweeping gesture that encompassed the entire small room.

"Bye," Fionn murmured, giving Lars an awkward little wave before he stepped through the door, a gentle hand on his back guiding him into the room so that Ayden could shut the door.

"Yeah, goodbye, Half-wit," the tall boy said by way of farewell, smirking before he let the portal close in the older blond's face.
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