[M] Call Your Name

Lars gets tired of his old roommate watching from a distance.

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Lars
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Tue Mar 12, 2019 9:28 pm

THE LAUNDRIES
OPHUS 14, 2718 IN THE EVENING
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He didn't hide his irritation all that well, the older of the two slightly frazzled from the sudden interruption - hadn't counted on that, though he should've. He knew all too well that this was not a private space, he'd walked in on enough things to never forget it, but he supposed he had gotten distracted; caught up in the moment. Although he knew it wasn't technically allowed, the older approached the door, locking it swiftly so that they could have some privacy. It was displayed across his face, however subtle the shift was; a curving of his lips downward and a focusing of his eyes for only a moment, before Fionn's exclamation brought him back into the present.

Turning his head back toward the younger, his expression softened, listening to the boy speak and stepping a bit closer again. Not as close as before, not nearly touching - but closer.

"No, not at first," admitted the blonde, voice low, "that first night, I knew I recognized you... but I wasn't sure how. It wasn't until I saw you in the baths with... ah, Fred, that I knew it was you."

Lars edged closer again - meandering in the boy's direction, somehow having gotten used to the lack of space he'd created before and finding himself lacking without it, "I don't figure I gave you my name, I'm not surprised that you forgot me. I've never been all that memorable, really, and it was your first day, right?"

He shrugged a shoulder lightly, eyes filtering downward until they came to rest on Fionn's hands.

"The years do begin to blur the longer you're in here," he murmured, reaching out warily for the other man's hands, holding them gently, loosely in his own if the younger didn't pull away, "I've been in here... double the time that you have, I suppose. I don't remember anyone from my first day. I don't remember much at all. Maybe it's easier to forget."

Carefully, slowly, watching for any hints of disapproval, Lars attempted to pull Fionn's hands forward, toward his own body - he set them down to rest on either side of his waist, the blonde's expression half curiousity and half nervousness. He allowed his own hands then to slip about the boy's neck, fingers resuming their place at the base of his neck. Lars couldn't push away the blush, the pink that dusted delicate cheekbones as he blinked and observed his former roommate's face. All of his touches had been gentle, almost incredibly so - as if afraid that the other would pull away at any moment, as he had done before in Dentis.

"I... I hope I'm not imposing," his voice was a whisper, an anxious hint to his tone, "I didn't want to make a fool of myself in Dentis and find out that - that you felt differently, but - I... I like being close to you, Fionn, and I, ah," hesitating for a moment, Lars debated whether he should continue at all - this was stupid, wasn't it? He shouldn't assume that the other would want this, would want him, he shouldn't make assumptions.

Come on, making assumptions is all you ever do.

"I-I'd really like to kiss you."

Wait. What?

"If - if that's okay."

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Fionn
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Wed Mar 13, 2019 9:58 am

Ophus 14, 2718 | Evening
The Laundries
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The door was locked and that was fine. Fionn was fine with locked doors, yes indeed, not a problem at all! It really shouldn't have been. He could see how to unlock it, it wasn't like when Ayden picked a lock closed. He wasn't trapped and besides, it was Lars. What was Lars going to do?

Snap your neck? He did say that if you ever hurt him, he'd kill you, he reminded himself, that inner voice certainly seeming smug. Of course that'd make way more sense, wouldn't it? If Lars had brought him here and pulled at his heartstrings just to get close enough to kill him without a fuss...

What the actual fuck was wrong with him? Could he be any more paranoid if he tried? He wondered if his twitchiness was apparent in this moment, the young man doing his utmost not to squirm against the wall but he was sure that there were little tics, little jumps in his muscles that spoke of the tension there, the kinetic potential.

He managed to relax a very small bit when Lars came closer, both soothed by the increased proximity and stressed by it. It wasn't because he thought that the other was going to kill him, it was just... he didn't know what was going to happen between them. That strange nervousness, the fluttering sensation within him wasn't sexual tension exactly, it wasn't desire at least not on a physical sense. It was a yearning. He wanted to be wanted, he wanted that closeness, that... he didn't even know what to call it. It was a lot deeper than what he was used to dealing with, deeper than the needs and desires that typically drove him to others for what little gratification he could gain from their attentions.

Maybe it had something to do with... what had Niamh called it? Infatuation? Oh yes, she'd enjoyed cooing comments at him about that one, further teasing out the blush that talking about Lars had produced in him. She had enjoyed it very much until he had pointed out that based on what she was saying, she clearly had one of these infatuations with Harper Moore. She hadn't been inclined to continue her gentle teasing after that, especially after Fionn's 'innocent' comment about how he could ask Moore about the subject.

But was it infatuation that made him feel a particular way when he thought of Lars? When he was near him? There had been something similar in his regard for Ayden but this was definitely purer, more... wholesome. It was probably easier if he just focused on the older man's words and didn't dwell on his face for too long - it was too easy to become lost in his features and forget how to function - then he'd be able to function without that floating feeling.

The words were definitely grounding, a distinct look of distaste flitting across the boy's face at the mention of Fred, lips pursed together as he looked away. Such a time for the other to recognise him! Gods, that was just... how the fuck had that happened?

"Oh lovely, what a perfect moment to- Well, I remembered here actually but- It doesn't matter," he explained with a shrug, not wanting to think about what he'd been doing at the time, especially as the texture of that night's recollection was... disturbing. He'd gone more than a little moony after he'd beaten up Lars and come back to the room to find him gone, only his blood remaining behind him.

That wasn't a place that he wanted to go back to ever again. He didn't want to remember any of that.

He shook his head, brown eyes flicking back up to Lars' face. "I should have remembered. It's not like many people have..." he trailed off, gaze moving down to where his companion's hands touched his own before returning to his face. "You were kind... maybe it was easier to forget that in here, yeah."

His hands were guided to the other's waist, pink creeping across his cheekbones, teeth pressing on one side of his bottom lip to try to stop the nervous smile that threatened to spread. Everything internal was... chaos. Everything in his body seemed to have gone into overdrive, the fluttering increasing, the pounding of his pulse inescapably loud and he was certain that Lars must be able to hear it.

Oh Alioe, is he- Are we- Can I-

Thinking was becoming quite difficult, every modicum of thought set adrift almost as it formed. He couldn't hold any of it. There were no words, only feelings, drowning him and yet... there was somehow enough space to breathe, impossibly so. His gaze moved over the curves and lines of the older man's face, tracing the features, drinking them in, lips parting slightly as his eyes followed the path of Lars' blush. It was considerably harder not to smirk, the young man giving up his attempt to stop it, one side turning up as he found himself unbelievably pleased. There was still nervous energy coursing though him but it was good.

This was good, very good. Excellent.

He let his hands move from the other passive's waist, sliding to the small of his back, exerting the lightest of pressure to encourage him closer, tempted to reach up and cradle his face, to get lost in the golden locks. This was fine though, he didn't want to make any moves here first, preferring to allow him to make choices here. Things had changed for Fionn anyway, he wasn't as sure of himself now, wasn't as certain about how to go about doing this sort of thing anymore. He had enough stuff warped in his head as it was so maybe it wasn't in anyone's interest to let him have control of anything.

The smile broadened a bit at the notion of imposition, head tilting slightly as he considered the other from a different perspective, almost able to look up into his face in spite of the difference in height. He shook his head subtly.

"No, not imposing," the middle Madden murmured, the smile clear in his voice. He licked his lips.

Don't. If he wants- Let him. If. Why he'd- But let him.

The choppiness of his thoughts increased briefly at the murmured admittance, a implicit question of permission hanging in the air between them that had his thoughts coalescing into something more coherent.

No one had ever asked him if- That he might not want to- It had never occurred to anyone before and it wasn't something he'd asked either. Sometimes you just knew, other times... well, you knew the answer but you did it despite knowing you'd meet reluctance, aware that the resistance would melt after a few seconds. There were plenty of times that Fionn hadn't wanted to kiss someone - and do more than that - and he'd acquiesced anyway, unwillingly, but there were also times when he'd responded violently like with Fred. His late patron's response was part of why it was easier just to do things you didn't want. He'd refused Ayden as well and that had gone badly too. But... wasn't it obvious that he wanted to kiss Lars? He thought so but... it was oddly nice to be asked.

The smile had faltered slightly in his shock, pain clouding his eyes briefly as he wondered if asking permission was a normal thing that he'd always been denied, never been informed could exist.

He let his hands drift off the other's back, breaking contact briefly as he considered, his expression thoughtful before he set one hand back in its former place, bringing the other around to fit into the space between them. The blond moved it up, setting fingers beneath Lar's chin so he could tilt his face up a little.

"Yes," he breathed just before he closed the gap between them, eyes closing as he found the other's lips with his own. He let his fingers slide down to Lars' chest, splaying over the material as he quested gently with his mouth, giving the other ample opportunity to pull back if he'd changed his mind. Tentatively, he moved to part lips with his own, in two minds about attempting to deepen things, all too aware of everything this reminded him of and trying to hold onto the difference in scent.

There was nothing wrong with this. There was nothing wrong with wanting this.
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Lars
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Wed Mar 13, 2019 6:58 pm

THE LAUNDRIES
OPHUS 14, 2718 IN THE EVENING
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Lars was easily moved when the younger passive's hands enforced subtle pressure against his back, pulling him slightly closer but still leaving a hint of space between them. The pink that colored his cheeks deepened perhaps in shade, the man allowing his eyes to focus on the other's face as it was tilted, mouth curving upwards into a smile - he liked the look on his face, liked to see Fionn smiling for once. He knew it wasn't a common occurrence, and he couldn't recall if he had even seen a smile before the night of the older man's punishment.

It was such a nice thing to see, he had to admit.

There was a spike in anxiety when he noticed Fionn's sweet, wonderful smile falter - shit, shit, shit. He'd said the wrong thing, hadn't he. Did he not want to kiss him? Had he read it all completely wrong? What was... what did he want?

Look who's the idiot now, hm? You said he liked you.

Fionn's hands left his back, falling away with the almost pained expression he gave - no, that wasn't good - idiot - what did you do - stop it, shut your head Lars - and the blonde swallowed nervously, his own expression faltering only slightly. It was perhaps for this reason that, once the younger returned a hand to his back and used the other to tilt his chin upward, Lars couldn't help but smile.

It was a stupid smile, he thought, a dumb and fluttery feeling as he smiled into the kiss.

What are you - what are you doing?

How strangely different a feeling it was as opposed to when he had kissed Clover - it felt different, it was different. It didn't disgust him to lean into his former roommate's touch, pulling himself closer to his body - it didn't make him want to gag when he pressed into the kiss, and he certainly wouldn't be throwing up after this one as he'd done a few nights before. Why was it so... different? Why was this enjoyable when his kisses with Clover had been nothing but the opposite?

Stop it, Laurentius, he almost killed us.

Lars couldn't help the small noise of approval that escaped his throat, a low hum as his fingers found their way upward into Fionn's hair. It wasn't until he pulled ever-so-slightly away, breaking the kiss in order to find his breath, that Lars allowed himself another smile. Small, shy, but pleased, content with his position pulled against the younger passive.

"I've wanted to do that since you moved into our dorm," admitted the Hessean with a subtle hint of embarrassment, fingers continuing to toy with blonde locks at the back of Fionn's head. Allowing himself to lean forward again, Lars pressed a gentle kiss to the side of the other passive's mouth, although moved over slightly afterward to let slow, soft kisses descend along the other blonde's jawline.

Then a kiss to his neck - Lars was quite pleased with the permission he'd been granted, it was clear - and the older seemed content to stay in the storage room with his former roommate and forget the rest of the world in favor of this.

Another sound, this time from a source other than Lars, from a few feet away from them - another servant trying the doorknob only to be met with a locked door. They tried again, and the sound of the lock disallowing entry brought Lars to an irritated groan. Resting his head atop Fionn's shoulder, the blonde didn't bother to open his eyes yet, instead opening his mouth to voice a soft complaint.

"I'm sick of this place," he gave, "and all the rules and restrictions and the dreadful people. All the things they put us through, and how they don't even care," Lars exhaled a sigh through his nose, "we deserve better than this life."
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Fionn
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Thu Mar 14, 2019 2:14 pm

Ophus 14, 2718 | Evening
The Laundries
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He shouldn't have worried about comparisons, familiar and unpleasant memories being triggered because... this wasn't the same. He didn't think that anyone had ever smiled when he kissed them before, the brief sight and the feeling of it on Lars' lips wanted to trigger a similar response in him. More than that, he wanted to laugh, a carefree delight bubbling within him. It was sweet and gentle, the action not a prelude to anything, not a means to an end and that somehow changed things. This wasn't impatient or aggressive, a way to push himself and his partner into a state of arousal, not a step on a path but the whole thing, the only thing.

It was just himself and Lars, a perfect moment in a bubble of their own making, and it actually made the world around them forgettable. It didn't matter that they were both defective galdori who'd been rejected by their families and society, that they were both effectively slaves with no real control over anything in their lives or that they'd both been through hell and back. Not a jot of it mattered while they were pressed close, mouths questing softly against one another. The older man's hands were in his hair and he had one hand over the man's heart, could feel his pulse, his response to this and his own seemed to sing out to it, quick and eager to match it.

Their proximity was delicious, Fionn unthinkingly leaning in like a flower drawn to the light of the sun, reluctant to move either of his hands to bring him still closer. He was happy to feel the thrum of life and joy beneath one set of fingertips while the other fully enclosed his waist, stretched around to Lars' hip as he embraced him. He groaned softly against the other's mouth, an indication of his own pleasure and a direct response to the sound the Hessean made. That humming sound sent a thrill through him, euphoric delight fluttering within him although there was a warm smugness there as well. That sound was because of him, an indicator that he was desired and enjoyed. He liked it and he was glad to have produced it. He wasn't ashamed which for the middle Madden was a first. It didn't feel like he was doing anything wrong, not this time.

This was the way that men were meant to be together and it wasn't ugly after all, like he'd always thought. There wasn't anything disgusting about this.

When they separated, it wasn't really much of a separation, still close enough that their breath could mingle, still close enough that another kiss was within range with the barest of effort. It did allow some thought to come flooding back though, an opportunity to paw through and analyse the various warm and fuzzy feelings that had blossomed within him. He had to smile, unexpectedly shy as he let his gaze drop to his former roommate's collar, teeth pressing lightly down on his lip so he wouldn't end up grinning like an idiot. He didn't know what to say to what Lars' admittance but he appreciated it. He'd thought that there was something there from the start but he'd doubted it afterwards, first willfully because he hadn't wanted to destroy him and then resignedly, certain that any interest had died with the man's near death experience.

Fionn's lips parted a little uncertainly as he felt for the right words - what were you meant to say in this situation? How did you relationship? - and then his mouth was on his again. Off-centre this time and coming as a surprise, he was slow to react and then the lips were gone, move on, seeking and conquering new territory along his jawline. His heart rate seemed to grow more frantic and it wasn't wholly pleasure this time. There was a little less innocence in that kiss now, a little more purpose and while he didn't know that Lars was going to try to push things further, much further, he found his anxiety levels rising, a low-level panic beginning to grip him.

It wasn't fair. He'd never been like this before, never felt fear like this before Ayden had screwed him up completely and utterly before he'd been dealt with. Before, he wouldn't have been even a little bit anxious about this. And this was Lars, who wasn't going to hurt him, wouldn't do any harm and who he did want on some level, just... not like that anymore. Or at least... not yet. The older boy was just exploring things, testing the waters, it wasn't like he was gonna shove him up against the wall and-

But he craved it as well, the contact more satisfying than anything he'd ever experienced before and well... he was a slut, wasn't he? He'd been told it before, earning some sniggered comments because he seemed to actually want everyone, even - or perhaps especially - when he'd initially refused them or seemed reluctant. Was it his fault that he yearned for something that he'd never been able to find no matter how hard he stretched to try to reach it? And he actually seemed to have found it at last so of course he arched his neck to allow Lars greater access even while his lips moved, soundlessly mouthing "don't." The only sound he did successfully voice was a whimper before his breath caught

The rattle of the doorknob made him go rigid, breath exhaled in a slow whoosh before he swallowed, gaze fixed on the door. A blond head was rested on his shoulder, a complaint murmured while Fionn reached up a hand to stroke Lar's hair, a clouded look entering his eyes.

"Yeah, you do," he whispered. Not him. He couldn't say that he deserved it. He was definitely one of the dreadful people. He deserved to be in here; he really was broken.

"Look, we can't... we can't stay in here, Lars. We'll both get into shit and... I've had enough shit if I'm honest," he murmured, turning so he could press a light kiss on top of the other's head, burying his face in the beautiful golden curls. Despite his pronouncement, he didn't seem inclined to move, arms wrapped more tightly around him for a few moments.

"It's not like we're going to breed, we aren't doing anyone any harm but... they don't want us to be people. I just wish- If only we were still in the same room, we could... we could have... something," Fionn whispered, blushing against Lars' head, not sure what he meant exactly; he didn't have the words.

With a sigh, he extricated himself, shaking his head and looking away if the older passive tried to keep him there. Instead, he moved swiftly to collect a fresh bar of coarse soap. He needed to be holding something, provide some legitimate reason for being in here and besides, the old bar was likely to have disintegrated at the bottom of the tub at this point.

"Look busy," he warned before he approached the door, fingers hesitating in front of the lock, a sad look of longing on his face as he looked back over his shoulder, offering the shorter man a small smile. "I'll see you soon. I promise."

With those parting words, he opened the door, swinging it back to reveal a startled looking girl who he moved passed with a murmured apology on his way back to his station. Fionn bit his lip as he resumed his work, fishing out the well-soaked shirt as he did his best not to grin like an idiot at the water. Even if things had ended on a bit of a sombre note, he couldn't deny that he was happy. Pleased that Lars didn't hate him - far from it - and pleased that he had actually missed him, had wanted him. His insides were still pleasantly fluttery and it was honestly the only bliss he'd enjoyed in this place. They couldn't take this feeling from him, those stolen moments.

The smile crept out all the same and he thought, fuck it. If people looked at him and saw him smiling then so what? What could they say? Maybe he really liked washing.
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Lars
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Thu Mar 14, 2019 6:54 pm

THE LAUNDRIES
OPHUS 14, 2718 IN THE EVENING
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The hand that came up to pet the Hessean's hair was clearly appreciated, the older seeming to nestle ever closer as he sought out the warmth of the other passive, the soft and gentle comfort, the things he wasn't even aware could really exist. It hadn't truly occurred to him before, he supposed, but his surprise was enjoyed, the bitterness in his chest for once being lifted if only for a while.

Perhaps he was too distracted by the calming sensation of fingers in his hair, or perhaps he simply didn't notice, but Fionn's distinction in who deserved a better life went unnoticed by the blonde. He found it difficult not to want to sleep; was it always that way? Fionn's form was a comfortable haven against him, drawing his exhausted, overworked mind into a restful state despite the fluttering of his heart.

This isn't ri - stop talking.

Although he knew that his former roommate was right that they couldn't stay in the storage room, Lars couldn't help a soft noise of protest nonetheless. He slipped his own hands downward from the back of Fionn's neck - wouldn't you love to sna - and allowed them to rest on his shoulders, finally opening his eyes again when he felt the younger's kiss pressed to his head.

The other servant didn't have to explain what he meant as he went on to say that they could have something - Lars didn't need words to understand; a little nod against the boy's shoulder confirmed that - he knew as well as anyone that Fionn was a deeply sexual individual, but that wasn't what he meant, now was it? No, he'd noted the flinches before and the reluctance to give in to his gentle touches, and he didn't need to ask to know that something was different.

Not that Lars minded. He hadn't approached him - or kissed him, for that matter - with the intention of that. No, Fionn meant something else, something... more.

"We'll figure it out," offered the Hessean quietly, allowing himself to be disengaged from his place pulled against Fionn, arms falling to his sides as he watched the younger walk away, and a strange, foreign feeling finding its home in his chest. It was somehow far more unpleasant to watch him leave than he had expected, but it was within moments that the feeling was gone, replaced with something else entirely.

"What in Alioe's name are you doing?" Lars hissed, "are you -"

Fuck off.

"Lars?" her voice was high-pitched and had always reminded him of nails against a chalkboard.

"Clover," he greeted, stepping a few feet away from the wall and closer to the other passive, "what is it?"

One corner of her mouth lifted into a half-smile, "just checking on you. I wasn't sure where you'd went. Everything's fine?"

Lars gave a quick nod, "yes, he's fine. Thank you."

The red-headed woman shrugged, closing more of the distance between them, "of course. I, ah, I saw you come in here with Fionn and I just wanted to make sure he wasn't... you know. I don't want you to get hurt again, Lars."

"Mhm," gods she was insufferable, that was one thing they could agree on, "what did he say about this, Clover?"

"Oh!" gasped Clover as she hurriedly stepped back, "right. Sorry. I - I got - sorry. Ha. Uh, I'm gonna go back to my room now that my shift's over, but I'm glad I got to see you!"

Lars' only response was silence, but he did offer the woman the glimmer of a smile, which was enough for her.
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