The Dormitories, Brunnhold
“I don’t know,” Madeleine confessed. “Here at school, I can, of course. Confisalto is taught in a class, we meet for it regularly – it’s not exactly the same. You start out progressing through the levels, of course, even if you studied it before Brunnhold they like to make sure you know the basics. Then, after that, all the advanced students practice together in a big class. It's lovely, you can dance with different people, and try all sorts of new things. We have showcases too, twice a year. But…” Madeleine hesitated, the bright flow of words slowing as she tried to think of how to explain.
“After Brunnhold…” Madeleine was quiet. “I don’t think it’s so easy to have it for a hobby then. It takes a lot of practice, and mostly people who do it do it – professionally, they join a company and they dance in Vienda or some of them tour. It sounds lovely,” Madeleine grinned at him, almost sheepishly. “But I – I don’t know. Maybe I’m not good enough anyway, and I wouldn't like not to have a good reason to cast. Sometimes I’ve thought that I’d – I don’t know.” Madeleine cut herself off, eyes lowering, smile dimming for a moment before it returned, the focus of her attention shifting back to Eirik. It was one thing to admit that she liked to dance, and another thing entirely to discuss silly dreams. She was sure Eirik wouldn’t want to hear about them.
Still – he seemed so interested. Madeleine wasn’t used to it. His field flexed, softly, and she was awash anew in soft joy, an almost perfect mirror of her own. He was smiling too, and he looked almost like a different person, not the classmate she recognized. Madeleine wasn’t used to this sort of presence in her field; the heated emotions that she had felt so early on in their tutoring session had meant that there had been no hope for her to keep things to herself, not really, and now – now the presence of Eirik’s field slowly mingling more with hers felt natural.
It was almost like dancing, or rather it was a feeling Madeleine had only ever experienced while dancing – like a partnership, an understanding with someone else, of someone else, that didn’t need words. People said that confisalto mirrored the relationship of galdor with the mona, the give and take that was so necessary for any spell to be cast, and Madeleine had always striven to emulate that. With a good partner, there was a feeling of synchronicity, a feeling that you weren’t one any more so much as two. Conversation wasn’t the same, even with the mona adding a richer second layer to their discussion, but – Madeleine couldn’t have explained why, but it felt similar.
“A duelist?” Madeleine asked, wide-eyed. “Have you really – dueled?” she had never done it herself; she was sure it would be very dangerous for her, that she wasn’t nearly good enough with her casting. She didn’t seem to be the sort that others wanted to duel for fun, and no one was interested in fighting with her enough to drag her to the dueling field, and so – Madeleine had never tried it. She had heard that there was a dueling club, or maybe that there used to be one.
Eirik’s abrupt admission felt like a sharp change of subject, but an interesting one, and the sense of curiosity from Madeleine deepened appreciably.
“Oh!” Madeleine leaned forward almost without thinking, looking at the book. “Oh, that must be so difficult, I’ve never – real spells? And they work?” Madeleine took a deep breath. “May I?” She smiled at Eirik, extending her hands hopefully. If he let her, Madeleine would take the book on her lap, admiring the binding and skimming the monite on the page. She settled her finger on the ‘completed spells’ bookmark, and looked up at Eirik, waiting wide-eyed as if for permission. If granted, she would turn the page to look at them, reading curiously.
“… Would it be all right for me to try one?” Madeleine asked, looking up at Eirik again. It felt like a scandalously intimate question, and Madeleine regretted it the moment she asked, a sharp sour tang of fear spoiling her field – fear that he’d say no, fear that he’d laugh at her for even asking. They were so close together, physically and magically, that she knew there was no way he could have missed it. Embarrassment followed, quick on its heels, and Madeleine dropped her gaze, shoulders hunching in a little as she waited for the answer that she was sure would be a no.