[MATURE] Contraband (Lars)

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Fionn
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Sat Jan 12, 2019 4:29 pm

Dentis 13, 2718 | Passive Dorms | Evening
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The repercussions of the Fred situation just seemed to keep on coming. The story that Castor Devlin has spun to explain the passive's sudden and violent death had obviously done its work as no one had pursued either himself or Lars, which was great. Unfortunately, it had had the unwelcome side effect of affecting their curfew, which meant that Fionn couldn't go wandering around. He was in two minds about not being able to wander. On the one hand, maybe it was a good thing to be confined to his room after a certain hour if he wasn't working because he wasn't likely to bump into Ayden and be recognised and bothered. On the other, he really didn't want to be still right now. Ayden's reappearance was making him antsy, very antsy and with four walls to gaze at, he was going to lose it.

However, he wasn't alone in this. He'd returned from a shift in the kitchens and a stint of heavy lifting to discover that Lars and Jamie were also finished for the time being, having bumped into them during the evening meal. Fionn had chosen to eat first and then wash if he had the energy but he apparently wasn't the only one who'd thought that way. His two roommates had also headed in that direction, leaving the blond in the uncomfortable position of trying to have a bath, not be too self-conscious but also to try very, very hard not to think about Fred and that whole situation. Given that Lars was present, it only heightened the potential for unfortunate flashbacks and Fionn didn't think that he'd bathed quite so fast in his life and he was a fricking passive. Any notion of lingering or soaking was impossible for them as it was; they were always speedy because they had to be. However, the servant just had to get out of there, more on edge than normal. It was going to take him time to adjust to being in the bathhouse again.

If post-traumatic stuff wasn't enough, both old and recent, he had to be quite firm with himself that he was not going to look anywhere in Lars' direction while he was naked, the temptation to look far, far too strong. If he let himself look then he was probably going to want to touch. It was actually more than a little infuriating how much he'd been thinking about the boy over the last few days, mind drifting to possibilities that were all the more alluring because Fionn had forbidden them.

It was a strange thing as well because he didn't typically have issue with this sort of thing. Going to the baths was stressful for him, yes, but while he was making sure that no one was looking too closely at him, he always allowed his gaze to skim, quietly admiring. Sometimes it allowed him to see who took his fancy, seeking the object of his interest at a later date. 'No' was not something that he was accustomed to hearing - or rather accepting - and while he'd been seen off before with violence, typically if he was wanted someone then that was that. The only time the young passive had had to exercise this sort of self-control was where girls were concerned. Nobody cared what happened between passives of the same sex but they had a terror of letting opposites meet. Circle forbid that the passives might breed more of themselves, except that he'd heard a rumour that passives typically produced galdori. The gollies probably considered that to be a lot worse.

If he pretended that Lars was a girl, did it make it any easier? Fuck no but at least he had a precedent for not having to give into his sexual impulses. A bit of deflection helped as well because every time Lars crossed his mind and he was tempted, he glanced Jamie's way instead. The boy was difficult to miss in any case, as while the older blond passive was inclined to fade into the background, the dark haired servant always managed to be very solidly in the foreground. Their friendly roommate seemed incapable of shutting up, chattering away happily, his tongue evidently not as exhausted as the rest of him. He wasn't bad to look at by any means - fantastic arse actually, Fionn definitely would - but the talking and the cheery optimism grated on him. If Jamie could be made to shut up then the defective Madden might actually be able to find him truly attractive.

Maybe that was what he liked about Lars, the contrast of a quiet and closed demeanour. Well that and the fact that the young man was so godsbedamned pretty.

Even when he was no longer in the same room as the other blond by virtue of his quick - albeit not quick enough - departure from the bathhouse, Lars plagued his thoughts. It was a bit ridiculous actually, but to make matters worse, his thoughts kept steering towards Ayden, remembering how he had been and wondering what he might be like now, silently comparing the two in his mind.

By the time his roommates joined him in their shared room, Fionn had sprawled on his back on Jamie's bed and appeared to be brooding, even as a leg bobbed up and down and showed just how much nervous energy he contained. The boy was exhausted certainly but his nerve endings were buzzing, his fatigue such that if he tried to lie down to sleep, he wouldn't be able to do so. So he'd settled on Jamie's bed instead of his own because if he wasn't going to be able to sleep then he might as well wind the other up. When his talkative roommate came in, he paused, taking in the situation with a puzzled and uncertain expression on his face.

"Uh... Fionn? That's my bed and I was gonna, uh... you know, go to sleep. So if you want to move... I mean, just if you don't mind," he managed, a soft hopeful smile on his face, doing his best not to cause offence as he waited with apparent patience.

The dirty blond smiled brightly. "Of course! I do mind!"

A relieved look crossed the other's features, the young man taking a step forward before the meaning of the words caught up with him and he stopped, blinking rapidly, his smile faltering as he tried to understand what was happening.

"I uh, well... yeah, okay, that's fair. I suppose all the beds are the same. A bed's a bed, right? I'll go sleep over here instead and-" Jamie began, taking a step towards Fionn's bed. He was obviously just trying to take the easiest path here and seemed to genuinely believe that they were simply swapping beds. At least, until Fionn cut him off.

"No, no, no. That's my bed. You can't sleep there," he explained, suppressing the urge to laugh at the stupid expression on Jamie's face. The older passive looked between the two beds, looked at Fionn and then finally looked at Lars.

"I don't... I don't get it."

Fionn laughed, sitting up and let stocking-clad feet thud onto the floor, hands held together between his knees as his leg continued to bob up and down. "Yeah, I got that but thanks for stating the obvious, scrap," he shot back, voice laden with sarcasm.

It was cruel really but he was enjoying seeing the optimism and the friendliness wobble, the young man utterly unable to cope with this. Fionn wondered if he was going to cry. Pathetic, utterly pathetic. So easy to mess with that there was very little satisfaction in this. But there was some and it was a much needed outlet until his mind stopped whirring away and let everything shut down so he could sleep.

The blond got to his feet, rising up onto his toes and stretching in a way that only added to the height difference between him and his shorter senior. He watched Jamie shrink back from him a little bit, hands spreading in a placating gesture, a nervous laugh issuing from him.

"I just want to go to bed, Fionn. Come on, don't you want to go to bed?" Jamie asked, almost pleading.

Fionn tilted his head to the side, brows raising as a slow and wicked grin stretched his lips. He leaned that little bit closer, the short distance between them almost an invitation.

"Jamie... are you trying to take me to bed? I had no idea you felt that way about me. I'm flattered," he responded softly, voice carrying enough sincerity in the lilt to make the other freeze and then redden, lips moving in a panic as he realised what he'd said. Watched his panic as he thought that that was the way that the blond had interpreted his words.

The servant snorted, stepping around him as he headed to his own bed, clapping the other on the shoulder hard enough that he hurled him onto the bed that he'd so recently vacated.

"What. An. Idiot. Go to sleep, Jamie, you're good at that. Go hide yourself under the covers and be glad that you can do something right."

Nasty, needless nastiness but it was pleasant, giving him a sense of control that had been distinctly lacking from his life in recent days. In truth, real control and autonomy had been missing from his life for years, if he'd ever had it at all, but in this moment, he felt as if he was the one with the power, the one who knew how to handle things better than the flustered and blushing young man who was indeed ready to burrow under his bedclothes.

Brown eyes flicked to Lars, mouth opening to make what was likely to be a biting remark when a rapid knock came on the door, the quick ratatat of knuckles hitting wood before the portal swung open to reveal... Ayden.

Fionn felt his knees wobble, the grin fleeing from his face as he stood and stared at the towering passive who was the new patron of their wing. He'd had since the previous day to get used to the idea and he still hadn't managed it.

The corner of the older man's mouth quirked up, eyes flicking quickly across the scene as coolly calculating as Fionn remembered even after five years. His nightmares had helped to keep all those little things alive in his memory.

"How're we, lads? I know you'd love to be snuggled up in your beds but I'm here to do a little inspection," Ayden explained, gaze flicking to Jamie who had frozen in bed, eyes fixed on his bedspread as he hoped that trouble wasn't about to be dropped on his head.

The blue eyes moved to Fionn and the smirk broadened into a grin, the patron's demeanour incredibly charming as he stepped forward, shutting the door behind him before moving to drop a hand on Fionn's shoulder, the picture of easy camaraderie.

"Little Fionn! Well, not so little anymore. I wonder if you have anything that you shouldn't have. I've been hearing some interesting things about you."

The blond was torn between wanting to deck him and wanting to drop screaming and sobbing to his knees. Terror lanced through him, the remembrance of the charm and the sinister aspects of his personality that it so often hid. Was he here because he'd heard something about Fionn? Was he here because he knew or suspected something? Was this some trap that had already been set and the young Madden was too late discovering it? He could do that to you, make you feel as if you were several steps behind, that he had caught you before by the time you first learned that you were in danger.

"Be good lads and stand over by the wall there, won't you? If you've anything that you shouldn't have... well, you'd better tell me now, hadn't you? We wouldn't want to start off on the wrong foot and if you show me anything you have then I can let it slide. I know that we all keep little things to make life that little more bearable. I can't blame you for wanting things but if you'll be honest with me, I'll go easy on you," Ayden explained, gesturing to where he wanted them to stand.

So reasonable. His words were so unbelievably reasonable. He was good at making you think that you could be friends. Fionn had no intention of revealing anything but he retreated from the other's grasp, retreating to the wall as directed. Now was not a time that he wanted to be noticed but it was too late for that.

There was a light dancing in those blue eyes, an excitement in his gaze that spoke of the suffering he hoped to witness. Fionn's suffering.
Last edited by Fionn on Mon Jan 21, 2019 10:19 am, edited 2 times in total.

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Lars
Posts: 447
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: nil igitur mors est ad nos
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Sat Jan 12, 2019 5:18 pm

Dentis 13, 2718
Dormitories | Evening
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The few days that had passed since Fred's murder had been far from difficult. An earlier curfew wasn't a bother for Lars, he had no desire to do anything besides come back to the dorm and sleep anyway after his long shifts, and though the leash on himself and Fionn had metaphorically been tightened, he really wasn't affected.

The only thing bothersome about the change was the fact that he had to spend that extra bit of time with his roommates. Lars hadn't really engaged in conversation with either of them all that much, not recently anyway, but it was impossible to get away from the noise when he was confined to the dorm. Jamie had always, always been a chatty one; ready to talk the whole night away if one let him, and he had never known the dark-haired passive to be any different in the many years he'd roomed with him. Fionn, as he had learned over the past few days, wasn't quite as enthusiastic in his speech, but an instigator nonetheless.

It was why the blonde sat upon his mattress in silence, head leaning against the wall, eyes closed. Jamie and Fionn's back-and-forth was hard to ignore, but he tried his best, emptying his mind now that he was in for the night despite the confusion from Jamie and jabs from Fionn that interjected.

He couldn't understand the appeal in any of that. What was so fun about jabbing at someone? Or confusing them? Although his eyes remained closed and he still tried not to listen, it was easy to pick up on the fact that Jamie was about at his breaking point with the youngest passive, and likely would've started crying if the man had persisted.

Once the room fell silent, an eye flicked open, darting to Fionn as if the older blonde was expecting him to jab at him next; almost daring him to do so with such a nonchalant and distant expression. He was unable to find out if he had been planning on it or not, however, as the door was suddenly opened to reveal their dead patron's replacement.

Lars knew that Ayden had been assigned to their wing, and in all honesty he had no real issue with the man, but something about him was...

He didn't know. He didn't like it; found it annoying. Perhaps it was the way he seemed to charm his fellow servants with such ease; a confidence that Lars could only see as fake. Ayden had never given him the light of day, as far as he was concerned, and Lars had never cared to speak with him either outside of when necessary. The last time had been, what, eight years ago? He was pretty sure Ayden had been tossed somewhere else; working with galdori superiors doing something that Lars couldn't even pretend to care about.

Still, he had no reason to disobey his requests, and Lars moved off of his bed without complaint. The blonde didn't appear to notice the change in his youngest roommate, steel-blue gaze faraway and unfocused as he approached the wall and came to a stop. Smoothing a hand against the fabric of his trousers, it slipped into his pocket, dropping a key silently before he brought both arms to cross over his chest.

Jamie had produced himself from his bed just as quickly, not wishing to displease the new patron so soon, and came to stand beside Fionn and Lars near the wall. The man appeared nervous for a moment, watching Ayden with a worried glint in his gaze, before he finally spoke up.

"Well, I have a picture under my pillow, but I don't think that should be a problem, is it? Just an old one of my family, I've had it since I got here."

It was then that Lars finally glanced over to his roommates, looking over them with a slight curiosity, gauging their reactions to the sudden inspection.

"He has nothing," offered Lars, since Jamie had decided to speak.

"Nothing? Really?" the words caught Jamie's attention, who spoke quieter now to his blonde roommate rather than to Ayden, "what about that old note from your folks? You used to look at that thing all the time. He couldn't even read it," he jabbed at the end, glancing to Fionn as if sharing a joke.

"No, he burned it."

The chatty passive took a breath, shrugging off the blonde's words and looking back to their patron.
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Fionn
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Sat Jan 12, 2019 7:36 pm

Dentis 13, 2718 | Passive Dorms | Evening
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As he did what he was told without question - a rarity - the young man wondered if this had happened to anyone else. Was he using this as a pretense to get to Fionn specifically or was the blond being paranoid? He didn't know, that was the horror of it, he didn't fucking know. He leaned against the wall, slouching with his hands in his pockets as he regarded his patron with a sharp and watchful gaze that belied the nonchalance of his posture.

Ayden stood with arms folded, feet set apart in a manner that just made him look like a wall. He was solid and immovable, looking quite imposing as he watched them and waited for their various admissions of guilt. Fionn didn't have anything on him of course, which was less to do with common sense and more to do with the fact that he didn't tend to carry stuff with him when he went to bathe. It was typical for a used uniform to end up going to laundry so anything on his person would be lost because it was pretty difficult to hide something when you were completely naked. When he stole things, it was usual for him to head back to his room before bathing and drop off anything that he had on him.

The passive wasn't bad at squirrelling away things when he took the time to hide them properly either so he liked to think that the multitude of things that he pilfered weren't likely to be turned up by the idle gaze or the casual searcher. However, Ayden was neither idle nor casual and what was more, he probably knew Fionn better than he knew himself. The blond had had thieving tendencies before he came to Brunnhold and they hadn't gone away since his indenture. Ayden knew what he was like but chances were that he'd also heard plenty of things when he'd been given the position; the blond troublemaker was well known, probably in more than one wing.

Still, he wasn't the only one in this situation so there was a chance that one of the other two, possibly both of them, would provide enough distraction. However, he should have known that they were both too good. Jamie announced his possession of a family photograph, leaving the youngest passive struggling not to roll his eyes. Really? That was the only thing he had and it was familial attachment after... how many years? Utterly ridiculous.

He watched Ayden move to the bed that Jamie had so recently vacated, searching the aforementioned place and drawing out the item in question. The patron regarded it quietly for a few moments, making no comment before he tucked it back in with a shrug.

"I can't see a problem with you having it. It's not really doing anything," Ayden explained smoothly, offering a smile that made Jamie return it with relief. They were pals now apparently. However, with Jamie's next words, he found himself looking at the other young man with some dislike. Had he actually just tried to land Lars in it? Fionn could understand not raising a finger to prevent something bad happening, or not caring if others got punished on your account but to just... volunteer potentially troublesome material was low. It probably bothered him as much as it did because it was Lars but he couldn't believe that the third boy had so happily provided information that was unasked for.

Bloody snitch.

Still, perhaps Lars had been the sentimental type, looking over a note from his family (had he said that Lars couldn't read? As in illiterate? Fionn felt sorry for him because of that) but had since given up. If he had indeed burned it. The two appeared to be cleared in any case and eyes turned to him, expectant.

"I haven't got anything. Look," Fionn commented, turning out empty pockets, quite literally tugging the material out so that Ayden knew it was clear. Instead, his newfound patron laughed.

"Are you sure you don't want to admit to anything, Fionn?" he asked slyly. The blond shook his head.

"Why would I lie?"

"So that you won't get caught. It's why you didn't actually answer my question," Ayden countered with a laugh. "Which one of these two beds are yours?"

The servant stared him down for a moment, lips pressed firmly together before he finally pointed to the correct bunk. The older passive made a gesture with his hand that mimicked the tip of a hat, that smirk playing about his lips before he went to kneel by it. There was silence as the man rooted around. There was the sound of wood being tapped, the rustle of material and a mysterious scraping. There were grunts as he began to uncover things however, grunts and commentary.

"Boiled sweets? Okay, I can understand why you have those but where you got them... Is that a tea towel? Okay, sure, that's normal. I suppose if you make a mess," Ayden commented with a snigger while the defective Madden examined the ceiling.

They were items that hadn't been well hidden and purposely so. If someone searched and expected to find something then they could find it readily, perhaps deter further searching. Not in this case though. Fionn hadn't set up some of his best hiding places yet, the length of time he'd been housed here too short but there were other things that if shown up-

"Are those- Yeah, cigarettes. I can understand where you got the paper but the tobacco? Or did you steal them from somebody already rolled." The greyish, off-white rolls of paper and tobacco were dropped on the bedspread before the man resumed his search, the young blond fidgeting a bit now because he knew he was going to get into some shit now if he'd found those and-

"Sweet fucking Lady!" Ayden exclaimed, holding up a clear and narrow glass bottle, several inches high that was nearly three-quarters full of a liquid that was lightly tinged with yellow although the colour was subtle, leaning more towards something colourless. "How the fuck did you get your hands on that much kojala oil? That's... that's bloody impressive," he murmured, genuine respect in his voice as he got to his feet, hand clasped around the slim bottle's neck.

"That is... a lot of oil," Jamie commented, laughing a little nervously and shooting a sidelong look in his roommate's direction, pink appearing in his cheeks, perhaps recalling the very recent suggestion about going to bed with his roommate. Fionn's own face had already gone a bit red and he was very, very interested in the ceiling.

"No one was going to miss it. It's not like anybody noticed it going missing."

Ayden shook his head, moving forward to wave the bottle in front of Fionn's face, the shorter passive forced to give him his attention. There was defiance in the teenager's face and his patron snorted.

"Well, I don't need to ask what this is for, not exactly a mystery. With that sort of amount... you must be spreading it around. Who's your friend, Fionn, huh? Or have you got more than one?" he asked, letting the bottle's contents slosh back and forth. The blond crossed his arms and stared back. The taller passive's blue gaze went to Jamie who had clearly been surprised by the bottle's appearance - it was written all over his face - but Lars was trickier to read and the eyes narrowed, thoughtful.

"I don't see how it's any of your business, Ayden. I have a bottle of oil, doesn't tell you what I do with it."

"It's obvious what you use it for, I'm not a bottom spicer! Gods, don't be so sensitive," he commented with a laugh before turning his attention to Jamie and Lars. "Sorry, lads, I'm gonna be taking this so you won't be able to borrow any, even for uh... a bit of self-loving," he sniggered, seeming to enjoy the embarrassment on Jamie's face.

"Don't be shy, lads. We're all big boys here, we know what we get up to," Ayden added with a wink.

"Shut up, Ayden."
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Lars
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: nil igitur mors est ad nos
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Sun Jan 13, 2019 1:11 am

Dentis 13, 2718
Dormitories | Evening
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Lars was nothing but uncaring as he stared at their new patron; his stance hard-set and confident as if he held all the power in the world and knew how to wield it. It was foolish, to the blonde, for a man to stand in such a dominating fashion, but again he kept his thoughts to himself, his picking-apart of the patron staying locked away behind shielded eyes and vacancy. He figured he probably found the man such a nuisance because of how different he was from himself; how he complied to authority just the same, but used their superiors' trust in him to his advantage to gain more power than anyone like Lars ever would.

Jamie's bed inspection was over and done quickly, Ayden finding nothing of interest beyond the photograph the servant had mentioned, but Lars did notice the subtle shift as the patron looked to Fionn. An expectant look upon his face, as if somehow he wanted to find something stashed away in the man's bed, and the blonde tilted his head to observe the inspection.

He hadn't expected so many items to be procured; perhaps it was because he personally kept little for himself and made no effort to take things from others, but his roommate's hoard only grew as Ayden continued his search. Boiled sweets he recognized from the kitchens, a tea towel likely stolen during a laundry shift, cigarettes from who knows where. Lars found the habit distasteful, the smell of smoke always one to linger heavy in his lungs and the breath of their user one to be avoided.

Ayden's exclamation dragged his attention back to the search, moving his head slightly to get a glance at what the patron had found but finding himself confused at the sight. Kojala oil? He could understand the appeal in boiled sweets, but the thought of drinking pure oil in the dark of the night was one that simply made no sense. Ayden's reaction to the bottle, as well as Jamie's and Fionn's, only deepened his confusion on the matter. They all acted as if the answer to the bottle's appearance in the room was an easy one, and for the first time that night, Lars' lack of understanding showed through in his frown. Was he moony for not knowing what they all seemed to know?

"...Spreading it around?" the man muttered in question, eyes focused on Ayden as he continued to speak, as if he was sharing an inside joke with the two men beside him. Arms still crossed across his chest, Lars looked to the bottle, to the hint of yellow coloration in the liquid, "why would he ever need to borrow oil?"

It was the honest truth, and it was clear on his face that the blonde truly had no idea what the men were so amused about, "how would a bottle of oil make him love himself? He has no idea what us "big boys" apparently "get up to" that would at all involve it."
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Fionn
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Sun Jan 13, 2019 1:25 pm

Dentis 13, 2718 | Passive Dorms | Evening
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Fionn knew that Lars was odd because he had in fact met the young man. He presumably did possess a sense of humour underneath the dreamy, blank exterior amongst other things but he wouldn't have expected it to rear its head in a situation like this. In spite of that, he did initially think that his roommate was being a smart arse. The tone was wrong for a joke though, even one with deadpan delivery. His voice didn't lack emotion though but had that upward inflection of question, genuine query. It was possible that Lars hadn't copped that the 'spreading around' comment was in relation to sharing and perhaps Ayden had interpreted as such. However, as the servant kept talking, the feeling in the room changed. By the time Lars' last words were out, there was total silence, three young men staring at the fourth with disbelief.

"Vrunta! Is he- Oh sweet Lady, he's clocking serious!" Ayden choked out, his background in Old Rose coming out before he started to laugh. It was soft, strangely controlled and while it seemed to be good-humoured, Fionn felt the hairs on the back of his neck standing up. Those blue eyes were watching Lars with undeniable interest now and the young Madden really didn't like that. It'd be just like Ayden to "break him in," a phrase that he'd often heard the man use with a chuckle. It was something he'd always been happy to do and he didn't need a particular reason for it either. Destroying innocence was a hobby for the parse.

Fionn found himself staring at Lars and wondering, truly wondering if he could be so clueless. Surely he had- He was what age, 26? He'd said it the other night that he'd been here for sixteen years so in all that time he must have- There was no way that he couldn't have. The passive couldn't even write it off as being that the older boy had just never encountered the idea of lubricant because he seemed genuinely bewildered at what it could possibly be used for. Even the concept of masturbation seemed to be foreign to him and Fionn couldn't comprehend it.

He was a grown-ass man!

"Well, I know that he's not your boyfriend. Not anybody's," Ayden sniggered, gaze flicking to Fionn and then Jamie, the smirk he offered somehow inclusive as if he wanted them to join in on the joke. But as difficult as he found it to believe that such a thing was possible, if there was even a chance that it was, Fionn knew he had to get Ayden's attention away from Lars. There was a predatory glint in the patron's eyes, a silent weighing up of the young man before him and it wasn't something that Fionn liked at all. He'd promised that he'd look out for him and even when he'd made that promise, he was sure that Lars had been clueless about what sort of protection he could possibly afford him, what use his fellow passive would be. Well, in this situation, he could see the danger, knowing what Ayden was like and the young man was probably a very interesting alternative to children, virginity so rare in a grown man of such advanced age that well... Fionn hadn't known that it could exist. So he had to try to preserve this rarity now that it was before him.

Admittedly, he also really didn't like the idea of anyone laying a finger on Lars. In truth, he couldn't have him and didn't want anyone else to have him either, at least, not if he had to know about it. There wasn't just protectiveness behind this but possessiveness as well.

"Don't mind him, he's moony. He comes out with the weirdest things, I wouldn't put any pass on him if I was you. He's the kind of tow-head that gives the rest of us blondes a stupid name," the passive interjected, running a hand through his own blond locks as if for effect. His brown eyes flicked to Jamie. "He's just weird, isn't he?" he remarked, seeking confirmation from his roommate.

There must have been something insistent broadcast in his gaze because Jamie looked at him in confusion for a moment before seeming to pick up on his mood and nodding emphatically.

"Oh yeah, he is. Harmless though, just a bit... of a tow-head," Jamie admitted, his look a little guilty as he named Lars as such a thing. They just needed Lars to keep his mouth shut for long enough so they could have Ayden sent on his way with any thoughts of- well, any harmful thoughts banished from his mind. It was enough to make Fionn feel quite edgy as he watched it sink in, the patron's gaze thoughtful as he considered the three, a secretive smile on his face. Ayden was good at spotting connections between people and using them against him and it was an uncannily good ability, as if he had a specific sense for such things. The last thing he needed was for the authority figure to spot anything of the sort.

Ayden nodded slowly, apparently lost in his own thoughts as he wandered back to Fionn's bed, popping one of the boiled sweets into his mouth. "Fair enough. Someone has to be bottom of the pack, eh?" he commented although that thoughtful look remained.

"So what are you going to do with me?" the blond asked, watching attention snap to him and feeling oddly relieved that he could take the brunt of this rather than his roommate. He was the one deserving of attention right now, he was the one in the wrong. It was Ayden, which meant that punishment could be quite unorthodox but he had to risk it. For Lars' sake.

"Oh you. You've given me a lot to think about so... I'll have words with you soon. Proper words after I've had a good think," Ayden remarked with a smile, picking up the pilfered cigarettes and slipping them into his pocket, still clinging to the bottle of oil. "You lads should get some sleep and remember to keep out of trouble because I'm not always this nice. I'll be seeing you soon, Fionn. Very soon."

If there was nothing further said to him then Ayden would slip out, leaving the room's occupants to stare at the door, waiting to see that the coast was truly clear. Only once he was gone would the blond appear to relax, fingers moving to tangle in his hair as he let his head fall back with a sigh.

No matter how he acted now, the patron was going to get him over the contraband he'd found and it was likely that he was going to find out fairly quickly if certain deals were possible. The young man didn't really have a lot of room to negotiate. In fact, the patron would probably let the matter slide on the condition that Fionn owed him and a debt would build up that simply couldn't be paid. But Lars might be all right at least.
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Lars
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: nil igitur mors est ad nos
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Sun Jan 13, 2019 4:49 pm

Dentis 13, 2718
Dormitories | Evening
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Ayden's reaction to his inquiries left Lars ever more confused, staring blankly to the laughing man who seemed so surprised in the blonde's lacking knowledge. Was it really something so obvious that he was to be laughed at for not knowing? If only he'd had a field, it would've flickered with something genuine and disheartened, but the passive's emotions were pulled in close to his heart as always.

All three of them stared in disbelief, and Lars' gaze unfocused, no longer properly looking back at any of them. He didn't like this, he didn't like being stared at. Attention was a rarity for the blonde and the mere idea of being the center of it was enough to keep him quiet; now, with their gazes on him, he really did look like an empty-headed fool.

He didn't appear to notice the glint in Ayden's gaze; something almost predatory in nature that completely passed him by and left him silent and motionless against the wall.

Lars didn't glance over to his roommate when Fionn spoke up, labeling him a weird and moony tow-head, and didn't care to look to Jamie either when the dark-haired passive agreed with the youngest. His irritation with the cruel words brought a heaviness to his chest, sinking low into his stomach where it nestled and burned; tucked away and out of mind like everything else. It was the same every time: another servant would call him empty, tow-head, moony, strange, a bad sort of strange. Every time his speech was mocked or ridiculed. Every time his polite greetings and apologies were dismissed in favor of insulting him, or his efforts to help another were pushed away. Why would he care to be anything less than unusual when even the other servants didn't care?

The servant barely registered much of the conversation afterwards; the focus no longer on him anyway, and it wasn't until Ayden had left and the door had closed behind him that Lars seemed to come back into himself. His arms uncrossed and fell to his sides, eyes flicking to the bed that hadn't been inspected at all, and made his way over to sit down.

"Was a bit rough, huh?" said Jamie, pushing off from the wall to approach his own bed, "at least he seems nicer than Fred. Definitely has more of a humor."

"So it seems," replied the older passive, resigning himself to lean against the wall, as he had been doing before Ayden's interruption.

"Lars, you're not really confused, are you?" the dark-haired boy inquired, sitting on the edge of his bed and looking across the gap to Lars, "I can vouch for you never doing stuff with someone else, but... alone? Nothing? This whole time?"

The blonde turned his head then, finally gracing his roommate with a glance, "he doesn't know what you're saying. What do you mean, alone? Is it really something so obvious, because he has no idea what you're talking about."

"You're serious? Lars - what did you think I - have you never noticed anything? Not when Bennett was here?"

The mention of their old roommate seemed to draw a crack in the facade, Lars' faraway eyes focusing in on Jamie for just a moment, "no. He never noticed. Bennett never had kojala oil stashed in his bed."

"Not that you know of, at least," the other passive said with a laugh, before shaking his head and dismissing the subject. He knew, after rooming with Lars for over a decade, that learning new things and noticing the activities of others was not his strong suit.
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Fionn
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Sun Jan 13, 2019 5:54 pm

Dentis 13, 2718 | Passive Dorms | Evening
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A slight tremor went through the young man, seeming to continue to vibrate within him as his adrenaline levels went into flux. In spite of all his outward nonchalance or cockiness, Fionn honestly couldn't handle this situation right now. He was far older now than he had been when he originally met their new patron, a number of years having passed since he last saw him as well. The blond had gained plenty of knowledge about bribery and coercion, how fear could be used, violence or sex to gain leverage or ease consequences. In hindsight, he understood a lot more about what Ayden had gotten up to in his early years at Brunnhold, had had time to dwell on how the man had manipulated and done it so well. Even now, after everything that the man had done to him and at such a tender age, Fionn knew that he still held some positive feeling towards him. It was tangled up with the negative, complicating things further. He'd seen that glint in his eye, the way he grinned and laughed and recognised the bad behind it, feeling scared but he also couldn't help but find some comfort in the familiarity of it; he hadn't had familiarity in awhile.

The passive's mind honestly felt utterly warped, his emotions bent entirely out of shape as he stood with hands in his pockets, slow to move back towards his bed with its violated hiding spaces. Ultimately, Fionn was angry at himself, angry for not hiding things better, angry for not having seen this sort of thing coming. The boy had a history of stealing and pretty much everybody knew it so of course someone would come searching sooner rather than later. Even Fred had been known to pull this sort of crap and he'd had fricking agreements with him.

It wasn't entirely possible to remain wrapped up in his own head, not while the other two conversed and so the blond found himself interjecting.

"He's not nicer than Fred. The bastard thinks," Fionn snapped out, moving to his bed and kicking it. It sent violent spikes of pain up his leg but he simply gritted his teeth, weathering it.

"Bollocks! I can't believe I could be so fucking stupid. Such a fucking tow-head," he growled, dropping onto his bed, hands tangling in his hair once more, brown eyes staring angrily forwards, strangely unseeing. He shook his head as he listened to the exchange about Lars' sexual habits, the innocence of it such a sharp contrast to his own existence actually stinging. It was made worse by Ayden's recent presence, bringing so much back to him and he envied the other for having remained so untouched. So he'd never had sex, never had a chance to experience that, so what? He also hadn't experienced the many negatives, the things that had made Fionn cry in shame or feel disgust or guilt towards himself. The disgusting and unsavoury liaisons he'd endured.

"Leave him alone, Jamie. So he hasn't- I don't fucking get it but it's him, isn't it? I probably shouldn't be surprised. You've obviously known him a lot longer so you should get it."

"I'm dropping it! Don't have a go at me! Besides, I would have thought that you'd want to uh... rip the piss out of him over it, not- Well, if it was me, you'd do it. You like ripping the piss out of me," Jamie pointed out, spreading his hands in a placating gesture.

"You're easy. It's not worth it with him besides, it's just..." he trailed off, gaze moving to the other blonde, lips tugged down in a frown. Jamie was getting himself settled into bed once more and Fionn followed suit, stripping off layers although he didn't anticipate being able to sleep yet; he had too much to think about.

"How did you get so much kojala oil? I mean... if you can get that much again then... can I have some?" Jamie asked softly, going pink when the youngest passive's attention turned on him. "Just... if it wasn't any trouble. It'd be handy for uh... you know. I could do without it obviously, I don't really need it for- I don't have anyone to- I'm not into men, really I'm not, but I don't have much choice, you know?"

It was clear that the young man was making himself quite uncomfortable, uncertain how to discuss it with a relative stranger and just giving out more detail than was strictly necessary.

"It took me ages to get ahold of a bottle that size. Filling it's a lot easier but... I don't see the point in sharing. What's in it for me?" Fionn shot back, a veritable purr in his voice that was decidedly suggestive, his dark-haired roommate biting his lip and looking away.

"I'll... try to think of something."

The blond hummed in acknowledgement, turning his attention back to Lars. He was worried about him, not least because of his ignorance. He could look out to him to a point but it didn't help if the man didn't entirely understand what was going on around him. He could inadvertently become entangled in anything.

"Here, Lars, I know you aren't stupid or like... I'm fairly sure that you aren't and you're definitely brighter than Jamie-"

"Hey!"

"-but I get it. You might not pick up on some stuff. I don't think you're great with... people. The oil, it's a sex thing. I... I assume you know what sex is and if you don't well... I'm not going to show you how it works. An audience isn't really my thing although I'm sure you could find someone who didn't mind if you really wanted t-t-to get it." he explained, gesturing a little with his hands, not entirely directed but appearing to veer a bit on the side of crudeness.

"Just... the oil makes things easier, it makes things slide better but it works all right when you're on your own, know what I mean? I mean... you must right? You have a dick, you have to feel something. You can't b-b-be dead. Down there."

His own face had definitely warmed now, the young man not used to having this sort of conversation. Actions were a lot simpler than words in this regard. With just words and no clear base of knowledge to build on, Fionn was stuck.
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Lars
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: nil igitur mors est ad nos
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Sun Jan 13, 2019 6:36 pm

Dentis 13, 2718
Dormitories | Evening
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Lars was a motionless statue sitting upon his mattress, head turned slightly in an effort to glance upon his roommates, but he didn't look like he planned on moving anytime soon. He listened to them speak, expression guarded, and again he wished for the ability to just turn it off. He was so tired of listening to people speak, especially when their conversations included him, and the blonde actually let his eyes close in favor of having to watch their mouths move.

None of it made sense; none of the words they spewed, none of Jamie's request had any correlation in his mind. He still had no clue what in Alioe's name kojala oil might be good for, especially in a dorm meant for sleeping rather than a kitchen. The way his dark-haired roommate phrased his questions made him wonder if the answer was somehow crude; somehow inappropriate, and the man's mention of Bennett made more sense when he decided that it was.

He had nothing to comment on about Jamie's agreement to find something for Fionn in return for some oil. If it truly was connected with something inappropriate, he didn't want, nor care, to know about it. The habits of his roommates, past and present, were none of his business and quite frankly, he didn't want to be involved at all with men who degraded and belittled him.

Fionn addressed him then, the young man's voice bringing him to open his eyes and look to him, as distant as his gaze might be. He wasn't sure how to take his opening statement--was he calling him stupid? But he couldn't exactly deny the fact that he wasn't the best around other people. He didn't understand them, probably never would, and the older passive didn't take offense to the truth.

The other blonde's explanations, however, caused his face to contort; brows furrowed slightly and lips curling as if he was almost disgusted. Fionn's crude hand gestures steered his steel-blue gaze away, looking instead to the hearth as the youngest continued on, but it was clear from the lack of redness in his face that Lars didn't look away out of embarrassment. As lowly and worthless as he might be now, Lars had been raised in a manor of prudes; his family a proud but quite conservative one in their beliefs and their youths' educations. Of course he clocking knew what sex was, even if he only knew the basic idea of it, but the use of oil in such an act still had no correlation in his head, and he still found the blunt descriptions and the questioning towards himself--his sexuality--nothing but distasteful.

"No, he doesn't know what you mean," admitted the Hessean, and he shifted on the bed to sit on the edge, peering across and finally bringing his gaze back to Fionn. He could only barely see the flush to his cheeks from the distance, but it was yet another thing to add to the list of his confusions.

"Feel something?"

"No way--I mean, I get not knowing what stuff's for and all that, but you... don't... feel stuff?"

Jamie's interjection brought Lars to shake his head, "what is he supposed to--why is this so surprising?"

"Well, uh, you're gonna be twenty-seven next year. People usually feel stuff, like way before that. And, you know, do stuff. Alone."

Again with the crude hand gestures, and Lars' eyes narrowed, his expression taking on a hint of annoyance with the conversation and the tactics of his roommates.

"That makes no sense to him. He knows what sex is, he's not as fucking moony as you two think, but why would he do that?" his irritation bled through his words, "he's supposed to touch himself? With oil? He doesn't feel any reason to do that, no, and he'd like it if you stop talking about him now."

It was strangely out of character for the blonde to speak out on his annoyance, and even more so for him to move underneath the blankets, lying down and turning away from both of his roommates, as if some sort of angry child. Truly, the older passive was stewing, fed up with the inspection, the insults, the interrogation, the mention of Bennett, everything--and that was why he let himself turn away, using the rarity of acting on his emotions.

Jamie's head turned to Fionn, looking to the younger with raised eyebrows, "someone's sensitive. He doesn't usually get mad. Are you trying to bring out the best in him, roomie?" he ended with a smirk, despite knowing that he had been the one to start the questioning.

"He doesn't like when I bring up Bennett, it gets him bratty. Have you seen him get bratty yet?"
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Fionn
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Mon Jan 14, 2019 4:20 am

Dentis 13, 2718 | Passive Dorms | Evening
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The shift in Lars' expression only made Fionn's face redden further. It was suddenly a lot more difficult to look at his roommate, not because of embarrassment but because of shame. There was disgust on the older man's face, a near contempt in his features for this discussion. It was all too easy for the young blond to feel like absolute dirt due to his sexual habits, having wondered on more than one occasion what was wrong with him. The fact that others were willing to talk on the matter, no matter how loosely allowed him to feel a little better simply because he wasn't alone in this. If his actions were wrong then he wasn't alone. It didn't really make him feel better but it did make it easier to resign himself to what ultimately appeared to be his fate.

Lars' expression just sent the guilt and shame cascading over his shoulders, head slightly bowed. One could call the other innocent and snigger perhaps but maybe it was a blessing in disguise. He hadn't allowed himself to be tainted by the same depravity, had managed to remain above it all. All passives were born to galdori but not all galdori were equal. He could recall the way the older passive had introduced himself to Devlin, the cultured sounding accent that rolled off his tongue together with that grand name... he wondered if Lars considered himself superior to them? In a weird way, he probably was.

Fionn didn't think he was capable of continuing this conversation, especially not given that he honestly just wanted to crawl under his bedclothes right now to hide his face and pretend that he didn't exist. Of course he was disgusting, he knew that, right? But whereas he'd been shamed into silence, Jamie carried on, the exchange between his other two roommates rapidly devolving as something in Lars seemed to snap. The blond winced, surprised as much as anything by the tone, and the urge to hide his face grew stronger. He genuinely managed to make what they did sound vile, so unbelievably vile and it was particularly unfortunate because the young man had often thought that what he did alone was somehow better, less disgusting, less wrong.

He wasn't thinking that right now.

The passive also realised with the way the older passive emphasised things that the words he'd used to try to protect Lars for Ayden had potentially hurt. A lot if the attitude was anything to go by but that could as much be to do with disgust and frustration at not knowing what they were talking about. However, it did make the boy wonder just how often he'd had words like that thrown at him: moony, tow-head, bottom spicer. Fionn knew that such words could hurt, plenty of people had thought him stupid both because of his look and his reckless and often pigheaded behaviour, the boy seeming incapable of learning from his mistakes. He'd forgotten that others could hurt too and that pain wasn't something that only he experienced.

But Lars had turned away and Fionn felt awkward enough that he didn't want to attempt an apology while Jamie was listening. If he was going to make a fool of himself, he'd rather it was in front of one person rather than two.

The dark-haired boy didn't seem at all apologetic, simply amused and he knew the other passive better than he did. Perhaps he'd read too much into his words and tone, the finality with which he'd cut off any further discussion.

"It's not my fault if he gets rubbed up the wrong way," Fionn commented with a shrug, a smirk on his face at his choice of words. Given what they'd been discussing, it seemed to be received well, the other sniggering at his crudeness. However, when Jamie brought up Lars' brattiness, the blond couldn't help but remember Fred. He hadn't witnessed the neck snap but he could see it in his mind's eye, the calm efficiency, the crack of bones, that serene expression on Lars' face with that drop of blood splattered on his cheek.

He seen something a bit beyond "bratty". Quite a bit beyond it in fact and he suddenly found it difficult to imagine Lars in a context that sounded quite so... benign.

"Oh I've seen... something," Fionn admitted, getting to his feet to extinguish the lamp. "Also do me a favour, would you, Jamie? Close your head, I've had enough of your chat."

There was a timid mumble from Jamie's bed, the rustle of bedclothes as Fionn picked his way over to the hearth to give it a few final pokes. He added a bit of fuel to ensure that it'd stay alive until they had to get up again before heading back to his bed. He found himself simply sitting there, brooding and unable to settle as he heard Jamie's soft breathing change to light snores. The boy could fall asleep at the drop of a hat. The blond was definitely tired but he was also deeply bothered by what had happened. Between Ayden and Lars, he wondered if he was going to get asleep at all.

But Jamie was asleep now, which meant that he might be able to deal with one of those issues by providing Lars with an apology. Provided that he was still awake, of course.

"Lars!" he hissed across the gap, wary of awakening his other newly slumbering roommate. He wasn't even sure if he should expect a response from the other blond. He might well be awake but stubbornly remain quiet. In a way, if he spoke, he didn't think that he could actually say what he needed to say so he pressed on.

"What I said in front of Ayden... I said it to get him off your back. Trust me, he's better off thinking that you're weird, it's not a bad thing. I don't think that you're... you're smarter than you give yourself credit for," he whispered, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck in the near darkness, a nervous habit. He bit his lip before continuing, the words he had lined up actually a pain for him to say.

"And I'm sorry that we're disgusting. I-I can't help it. Even if it's wrong but I wasn't trying to make you feel- I'm... I'm..."

The urge to squirm was becoming unbearable, the young man truly incapable of coping with this right now. In spite of that, he managed to dredge up a few words that were designed to offer an olive branch, not meant to be mocking but presented with true apology and humility.

"He's sorry for anything he said that caused upset."
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Lars
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: nil igitur mors est ad nos
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Mon Jan 14, 2019 12:29 pm

Dentis 13, 2718
Dormitories | Evening
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The continued conversation between his roommates, however short, did little to appease the anger that had risen in the passive's chest. The man had made himself clear, he thought, that he didn't want to be talked about, especially in such a crude manner. Did they not listen or did they simply not care? Jamie he could forgive; he had lived with him for so long that he'd dealt with just about every kind of comment from the man, but Fionn barely even knew him. He supposed he shouldn't have put much weight into the young man's words the other night; he hadn't really made an effort to be any less of an ersehole.

Lars closed his eyes, sinking into the darkness and attempting to tune out any conversation that might continue between the other two servants. He had thought that he had succeeded, Jamie's quiet breaths turning to soft snores in the otherwise silent room, and the blonde finally allowed himself to relax when he imagined Fionn would have fallen asleep as well. Had he really thought that Fionn would make their dorm anything less than a warzone, just because he had said a few kind words and made a promise? Time and time again, the blonde was too naive.

When he heard his name hissed into the darkness, at first he didn't move, didn't make any attempt to reply. Steel-blue eyes opened, staring at the wall and the dark shadows produced from the hearth as he listened to his roommate's attempt at apology. It was far from all-healing and certainly even farther from a simplicity that Lars could better understand, but it was an apology when he hadn't been expecting one in the first place. Fionn was trying, and that was more than many had done.

A few moments of silence passed, Lars staring into the dark without a hint of movement, but eventually the blonde shifted under the covers, turning to face his roommates' beds.

"He doesn't think that either of you are disgusting," murmured Lars, careful to keep his voice soft and not awaken Jamie, "he knows its normal to feel things, really. He just... doesn't. He doesn't like the..." trailing off, he searched for a word.

"He doesn't like the hand gestures. Its--it makes him feel sick," it was a strange thing to admit, but he couldn't explain it any differently. Crudeness was not a thing that Lars enjoyed, and his display before had shown that clearly. Why it made him feel sick was a question even he didn't know the answer to, but it likely had to do with the importance of virtue and class he had grown up with. He didn't like to hear about things, or see things, because in his childhood home they had been so demonized and shamed. Sex as a way of procreation had been made clear as the only reason for its existence, and it was hard for him to think of it as anything else.

Nonetheless, Lars seemed to have calmed, returning to the docile state of his normality.

"You don't have to speak that way. He knows you don't like it. He appreciates the apology, though," and it was clear in his tone that he did, eyes peering across the dim room to his youngest roommate.
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