Notes of Regret

[Kit]

6th Bethas| Mid Afternoon
Delyth’s House

Kit sighed, following Shae’s gaze to their long suffering host, who was watching them inscrutably while waiting for the kettle to boil. She raised an eyebrow, and he smiled crookedly, looking back to the youth in his lap and loosening his hands as they shifted so they could get up if they wanted to.

“It’s a shithole,” he said bluntly. “The door doesn’t close properly, there are holes in the roof, and...and in the plaster, though the latter is down to me I’ll admit. I can afford a better place, I’ve been able to for years, I just… didn’t think it was worth it. Didn’t think I was worth it, I suppose…”

“And somewhere in that dumberse golly head of his he mayhap thought that he could get ye into a new place before ye noticed the olio red paintjob in the bedroom. Oh look ye, there’s the kettle now…”

The high reedy whistle of boiling steam didn’t quite drown out the musician’s indignant curse as the chuckling witch lifted the kettle off the hearth hook to pour a steady stream of boiling water into the open teapot on the table.

“You fucking...could you not have let me tell he- them myself?” He’d started involuntarily but with Shae in his lap was only able to plant an elbow on the arm of the chair, fingers tangling in his hair in frustration.

Delyth snorted indelicately, tucking a copper curl behind her ear before crossing her arms and leaning against the mantel.

“Like ye’d have remembered before it was right in front of ye’r mung face again.” Turning her gaze to Shae, she continued, ignoring Kit’s warning growl- “This stopclocker was so upset after yer pina tiff that he split his precious knuckles open on the plaster. Left it a fair mess by all accounts.”

He could feel his cheeks burning with shame, and his jaw clenched, unable to protest that that wasn’t how it had happened at all, because… well, it was.

That was exactly what had happened, and…

...and I’m done hiding things from them…

...meet me in the gutter, make the devil your friend...

[Shae]

Bethas 6, 2719 | Mid-Afternoon
Delyth's House

.

A shithole? Honestly, Shae had never noticed. Compared to the way they'd been living in Cordelia's body before they encountered Kit, his apartment was a paradise - a haven. There had been all manner of luxury in the house that the raen had fled but it was a gilded cage, all the trappings of a rich lifestyle that did not come for free. Cordelia had paid for it with her body, effectively owned by her husband and the youth hadn't been willing to pay that price. It didn't matter how lovely a place could be because it could still be horrible underneath it all; appearances could be deceiving. They supposed that Kit's apartment wasn't the prettiest abode but it hardly matter. It was still safety and comfort and home. A few relatively minor inconveniences didn't detract from that.

But holes in the plaster? What was that about?

Dark brows tilted downwards, coral mouth puckering as Shae turned their gaze to Kit, hoping to divine the meaning of his words from his face.

"If you want to live somewhere new then sure but I think it's fine. But if it's such a shithole to you..." the raen trailed off with a shrug, right before Delyth offered her own little bit of commentary.

Red paintjob in the bedroom? Had Kit been redecorating? If so, did he expect them to be upset about it? It was his home, he had every right to alter the place and the raen certainly didn't have the right to be upset about it. And yet there was a great deal of agitation in the man they sat with, the witch;s admittance apparently causing him quite a bit of distress so much so that he actually tried to rise with them atop him. The teenager looked from the galdor to the witch, expression one of absolute bewilderment.

Without thinking about it, they stretched their hand out to rest on his arm, even as he occupied himself with entangling his fingers in his hair. The youth gave his arm the gentlest of squeezes, a small reassuring smile on their lips. Whatever was wrong, it was okay. Shae was okay with it, they wanted him to know that. The unhappiness in the man's field caused a reciprocal flutter of feeling within the teenager, distressed because he was distressed. The realisation of it made their cheeks warm, a flush of embarrassment and self-consciousness.

However, when Delyth dropped her explanation, the raen's demeanour altered drastically. Their hand drew back as abruptly as if they'd been electrocuted by their contact. The former wick had seen his knuckles but the knowledge that he had punched the fucking wall! And that he had done it on their account as if punching holes in the plaster would-

Holes in the plaster! So that's what he'd been talking about! And that was the red paintjob too! Of all the things!

"You stupid fucking stopclocker! You complete erse!" they spat out, shifting their position so they could stare him full in the face. "What good did that do you? What was the fucking point of that? Vrunta! Did you think you could dust to some new apartment 'fore I saw what you did in the one you have now? Shithole! Ent that a great excuse."

The raen smacked him on the top of his pretty head, scowling. The youth made a move to disentangle themself from Kit, fully intending to stand, maybe even pace while they tried to process his foolishness. Punching walls to take out his frustrations, really? And there was Shae thinking that they had a stupid temper. However, in the end, they didn't stand up, just moved to sit on the chair arm, one leg still resting in his lap while the other dangled off the chair. Arms crossed over their chest, they used the very small measure of height they'd gained from their new position to glare down at him.

"What excuse do ye have for yerself, eh? Were ye hoping your cheeks going a pina bit red would distract me enough? Yer pretty face ent distraction enough for that," they huffed, the Tek and colloquial phrasings slipping into their speech more and more as they lost a grasp on their 'proper' bearing. They clenched their teeth, all too aware what a posh boy the galdor was, even more so when he got angry and here they were sounding more like someone you might find in the gutter. Admittedly, they'd spent a fair bit of time in the gutter and a fair bit of time on the streets but that was no excuse for the vernacular language issuing from between their lips.

They were trying to calm themself and as they did, Shae looked down and caught sight of his hands. It did wonders to drain away their anger at him, allowing the worry and the hurt to fill them up once more. The teenager's posture slumped and they reached out to take one of his hands with the intention of running a thumb over the recent scabbing on his knuckles.

"Oh Kit... why would you do something so- Don't you know how important your hands are, love?" Shae murmured, grey-blue eyes finding his face again, softer this time and anxious. "Promise that you won't do anything like that again. I don't want you hurting yourself on my account, Kit. It didn't solve anything anyway... did it?"

A sweet but sad smile took ahold of their lips, the youth gazing at him intently, trying to convey their feelings through their eyes alone given that their porven field didn't do much to communicate such things these days. They were late to remember Delyth's presence and when they did, their blush crept to the roots of their hair.

"Um we'll... just have a cup of tea and then uh... go. Right, Kit? I don't want Del to have to suffer me any longer..." the raen's eyes flitted to the witch, smiling awkwardly before they continued speaking to Kit alone in a far lower tone of voice, "... and I want to go home."

[Kit]

9th Bethas| Mid Afternoon
Delyth’s House

The youth’s gaze turned to him in anger at Delyth’s revelation, and Kit winced at the tirade spilling from those lips.

He deserved it of course, but that didn’t make it any easier to bear. The shame burned in the musician’s throat as he swallowed awkwardly, avoiding their furious gaze. There was a subtle pattern woven into the flowing red fabric of Shae’s new skirt, and he all but fixated on the threads of it.

“I didn’t think…” The golly paused, long fingers tangling painfully tight in his own hair. Then he felt a small hand hit the top of his head and ducked, wincing. “OW- alright, yes. I didn’t think at all. I’ve… I’ve been doing a lot of that, it seems.” A tinge of pink flushed tanned cheeks in embarrassment.

...and ignoring things that are right in front of me... the most important things…

Shae shifted in his lap, and he moved his arms to let them rise. They didn't stand as he'd thought they would, but simply pushed themself up to perch on the arm of the chair, forcing him to tilt his chin to look up at them.

The youth was indignant and concerned, and-much as the fire in their lovely face was unsettlingly attractive- Kit found himself horribly disappointed in his own lack of control, at their disapproval of it.

"...Yer pretty face ent distraction enough for that," they finished, and the tall musician with the bright blue eyes and the charming smile simply… did not know what to say.

"I uh…"

Kit had used his looks to his own advantage often enough, it was true, but the galdor hadn't been attempting to in this case, and the attention drawn to the slight flush in his cheeks had the unfortunate effect of making it deepen even further.

"...I wasn't trying to… clocking hell, Shae, you make me sound like a schoolgirl trying to get out of detention..."

The sheer care with which they cradled his scabbing fingers in their own set a strange longing swelling in his breast, and their question hung in the air for a moment.

...it didn’t solve anything anyway...did it…

The musician’s free hand came up, almost without him bidding it, and as his brow creased gently in concern, calloused fingertips skimmed Shae’s cheek.

“...no,” he breathed, as those stormy eyes met his own, “...you were still gone.”

“Hem. Brew’s up.”
Delyth’s dry tones cut the lull, and with a sudden jolt, Kit realised what he was doing. He blinked, swallowing hard.

...don’t scare them off now…

His hand fell to tug at his collar before using both to gratefully clasp the mug of tea offered by his friend.

"Thank you, darling."

When Shae expressed concern about overstaying their welcome, Delyth snorted indecorously, planting herself in a kitchen chair and leaning back, swinging her heels up to clack on the tabletop and narrowly missing the playing cards still scattered on its well-worn surface.

“Oes, ye’re such a tsuter houseguest, eatin’ me out o’ house an’ home.” The witch’s green eyes sparkled at Shae over the rim of her mug.

Kit meanwhile, simply nodded his assent with one breathed word, his arm slipping around the youth's waist to rest gently on the small of their back with a light squeeze.

"...home."

...meet me in the gutter, make the devil your friend...