[Memory] All These Sweet Things You Have Left Behind

[Evandria Sericks]

It was a surprising question. Surprising enough that the young woman raised a slender eyebrow. It hadn’t occurred to her that as a human, of course Cat would not know much about school. As far as she could tell, there were no formal education institutions for the other races. Here in Anaxas, they were not expected to do anything that required

Evandria considered how she should answer. She herself was unsure how to describe her experience in Brunnhold. The Hoxian was never the sort to enjoy sitting in classes all day, favoring practical demonstrations rather than theoretical lectures. “School… Well, it can be both fun and awful. You go to your classes and try to learn something new. One class might teach you about the history of the Everine, the next one might teach you how to levitate. The other students… Some are pleasant, a lot of them are not. They are not particular fond of things that were different.” Like her. It was only when she finally had the ability to throw their erses into the ground at the Lawn that they stopped bothering her. “Then repeat that all over again every day.”

Realizing how she sounded, the young woman let out a small laugh. “I am making it sound rather horrible, but it really is alright. I studied and made valuable friends.” After all, without Brunnhold she never would have learned how to channel her restlessness into dueling and would have never met Lorcan. “Still, I can’t wait to graduate and…” Finally be able to find the men and women who might responsible in taking away my parents. “Get out of there.”

The young woman took another spoonful of the meal in front of her. “Since you don’t attend school, how did you learn to write? You it quite well.” A lot of the human servants in her house could not read or write, so she was convinced that it wasn’t a common skill. Evandria had hired tutors before she started her studies in Brunnhold, but she doubted Cat learned the same way she did.

[Catriona Fraser]

62nd Of Roalis 2712

Cat’s only other explanation of school had come long ago, from a nine year old Hugh Feldwyn. He’d told her about the classes and the teachers, even though he wouldn’t actually attend until the next year, and how he’d placed very high on the magical aptitude test. Cat had only been six at the time and had a hard time following all that he talked about, using words like ‘field’ and ‘stacks’. Still she fantasized about the day that perhaps she too would go. When she mentioned it to her parents that night they waited until her siblings were in bed and then gave her the talk. The one where she was told she would not ever be going to school. That was only for the galdori. They endured her sad tears and told her not to play with the landlord’s son anymore. He was different to her, and could be dangerous.

So Evandria’s description, lacking detail though it was, sounded like it was everything she dreamed it might be. Spending time with other children her age, learning history, maybe even science. At her age, if she was a galdor, she’d only be less than halfway into her education right now. And she couldn’t help feel a little bitter about it. A lot bitter. How was it fair? They could cut out her tongue and keep on living and going to school and she who had done nothing wrong but be born the wrong race had no opportunity, was even forbidden to learn? Cat gritted her teeth, glaring into her soup and then realized how tightly she was gripping the bowl and perhaps how her bitter silent stare probably looked.

She sat down the bowl and took a deep breath as Evandria asked her question about reading and writing. She of course, would not tell a galdor the truth: That at the age of four to six, children all over Bad Aisling took turns meeting in basements and barn lofts and attics to learn how to read and write. Because however illegal it was, they would all eventually need it to survive. If one waited to get a writ before they learned they would never be skilled enough to function. Cat had also learned simple math early on but science and history were scarce subjects. They’d learned about Vita from their family prayers and rituals, but nothing of politics or the world around them. Cat didn’t know the name of the king or the next land over. There was so much she wanted to learn. And as she sat there dwelling on it she smiled and shook her head realizing she’d yet to answer Evandria’s question. She took out her notepad and wrote, “I got permission when I came to Vienda, so that I could communicate with my Master and others. I’m going to learn sign if we can find a teacher.”

She held the pencil to her chin and wrote again before handing the notepad over. “What is...lev-a-tate?” It was a word she thought maybe she’d heard before but could not place its meaning, or spelling for that matter.

[Evandria Sericks]

The young woman could not help but watch the human girl a bit closer as she tensed. It was difficult not to notice the quiet anger shimmering underneath. Perhaps Evandria should not be surprised. The human bear not much love for her kind around here. It was the discord between the two races that became one of the reasons for her parents’ undeserved deaths. But the look did not last long and soon it disappeared without a trace.

“What is...lev-a-tate?”

After reaching for the girl’s pencil, Evandria wrote underneath the girl’s question: Levitate. The Hoxian tapped her delicate fingers on the table a few times as she pondered briefly on how to answer Cat. “To float or to rise into the air. I can show you.”

Evandria casted the spell, the monite that passed true her lips melodic and light. As gravity loosened its hold, the silverware lifted off from her palm. It hovered and swayed in the air, a defiance of the laws of this world. It was one of the first physical spells she had ever learned. She remembered the days when she experimented. “And there it is: levitation.”

The Hoxian made the spell to last only briefly, so it did not take long before thefork fell back into her grasp. She put it back down in its place. When she look at Cat again, Evandria what it would be like to live without magic. Humans could not converse with the mona, hence their inability in doing magic.

“You said when you came to Vienda… So, you are not from the city then? Where are you from?” An outsider to this big capital, just like her. Well, not quite like her. The girl’s red hair and pale skin were enough signs of her Anaxi blood. And then there were the scar that ran down her face, a mark on her pretty features. Accompanied with her silence, it was truly difficult not to wonder what stories she had. “Did you move here with your family?”

[Catriona Fraser]

62nd Of Roalis 2712

Cat allowed the older girl to take her pencil, and correct her spelling. She couldn’t help but grin at the thought that something could be made to rise of its own accord. But as Evandria spoke the magic language, she nearly jumped from her chair. It was a quick, knee jerk reaction that only lasted for a second, but it was almost certainly noticed. She’d only heard it once before and under very different circumstances. Cat quickly settled back into her chair, reminding herself that she was in no danger, and that Evandria’s use of the magical language was far lighter, happier even. She waited nervously as Evandria continued to speak and a laugh escaped her lips in surprise as a fork did as it was instructed to, lifting off of the table and floating in the air. Cat gave Evandria a grin and a light clap of her hands in applause. Part of her wanted to see more, know more, but the other part of her was more interested in things she’d actually be able to accomplish. She knew she’d never do magic but it certainly was fun to see it done in pleasant company.

Her smile faded as Evandria asked where she was from. It was an innocent question, of course. Plenty of people asked where others were from. She knew, of course, that her hostess was from Hox. And just as she was looking down at her pad, deciding what to write, Evandria’s voice came through, asking if she’d come with her family.

She began writing without really thinking. Cat was not a liar but of course she knew when and how to withhold the facts. “I just came the end of last year from Bad Aisling. I came by myself. My parents said-“ what had they said? Not much. They’d ignored her after what happened. They’d loved her of course, but what was there for them to say? What more could they do for their eldest daughter who they’d saved up a dowry for? Two or three more years and she could have married but not anymore. It had been easier than she’d thought to convince them to give her the dowry. A little help from her Uncle to find a Master and she had an apprenticeship waiting in Vienda. “They said I’d do well here. So I’m training to be a smithy and one day I’ll have my own forge and everything.” If one could write proudly, Cat certainly did. Her face spoke volumes that she meant what she wrote. She would become the best smith around.

Cat tapped her pencil to her chin. She was very much aware that Evandria was watching her, as she composed her words in her head. “Your magic was great. Do you want to get out of school so bad because it’s hard? Are the other kids mean to you?”

As she handed Evandria her notepad she smiled softly. She realized this method of communication was ineffective for friendly conversation. In the time she’d been in Vienda, though, she’d not had time to make any friends. Raynarus kept her busy and definitely did not tolerate laziness. And although she’d had a few free days, he had little time for frivolity either.

[Evandria Sericks]

Evandria did not miss the way the girl had flinched as she casted. The fear in her eyes were undeniable. Yet, as swift as it appeared, it was replaced by excitement as Cat watched the floating fork. The Hoxian was left wondering what might have caused such a reaction from the human girl. Despite her thirst to know, she decided to let the issue pass for now. Perhaps she could ask when the time felt right.

Bad Aisling… The young woman knew of the place. A village not too far from here. She had passed by it on her way back from Cellas Isle, although admittedly she paid very little attention to anything. They had stopped there to water the horses before continuing their journey to Vienda. All she could really remember about the trip was that the carriage was painfully silent without her parents.

She raised an eyebrow in surprise. It would have never occurred to her that Cat would aspire to be a smith – quite an uncommon interest in most girls. “Good luck then. Judging from the beautiful work Master Raynarus had done with the vipoxz, I am sure you have a great mentor.”

Evandria smiled wanly at the girl’s question, putting down her spoon in the bowl. “At first. I was different from most of the other students. I look different and I speak different.” Her early years in Brunnhold had not been the best. Some days they teased her endlessly about the vipoxz she always wore. Other days they called her a savage. “Then, someone told me that I should stand up for myself and after a while I did. They stopped bothering me when they realized that I could beat all of them in a duel.”

A smile tugged at her lips as she remembered the day she first talked to Lorcan. They had already been in the same third year biology class for a season, but they never really interacted with one another. She knew who he was for he was the sort to be constantly surrounded by people, the other students naturally gravitating towards his easy smiles and friendly disposition. Meanwhile, Evandria kept mostly to herself.

When the class ended that day, as always, the Hoxian gathered her books and notes in her arms hurriedly before anyone could pay any particular attention to her. Her efforts proved to be fruitless. Just as she stood, a hand shot out towards her and knocked all her things from her hands. The class turned silent as her items cluttered onto the floor. Evandria did not even bother protesting, she simply went down and started collecting her things. He told those who bothered her off.

She could still see his face when Lorcan knelt down in front of her. Are you going to stay silent forever or are you going to stand up for yourself, he asked her in a low voice. She didn’t have the answer for him at that moment. Ever since that day, Lorcan always went out of his way to talk to her, to find a seat beside her. He helped her courage and confidence grow, until it was enough for her to finally stand tall. “I have a great friend now, so that is not the reason, no.”

A servant walked in to serve the main course, a plate in front of each of them. It was nothing particularly extravagant – roast chicken, rice, boiled vegetables. When the scent registered in her mind, her stomach growled uncomfortably. She just remembered that she had missed both breakfast and lunch. Her appetite had not been great, but having a distraction truly seemed to have helped.

“It simply feels… off, going to school. After what happened, nothing is going to be the same yet there is nothing I can do because I am still a student,” Evandria admitted quietly, stirring her bowl of soup mindlessly.

[Catriona Fraser]

62nd Of Roalis 2712

Evandria spoke of bullies and Cat nodded in agreement. At home, bullies were quickly knocked down a peg. Cat could count a total of two kids that had tried to pick on the other nearby children. They’d been ignored, all but shunned at gatherings until they came to their senses and asked to play, after which the other kids just sort of pretended nothing had happened. It was an easy thing to do when there were only ten to fifteen children at any given time. Cat imagined the walls of Brunnhold held far more than that.

Cat nodded understandably at her final explanation. And she wrote quickly on the tablet. “I know what that is like. It is frustrating when your world has fallen apart, and yet the seasons continue.” She paused and took a minute to think things through. “In Bad Aisling, the farmers will say, ‘Still we harvest.’ to remind us that we must keep going even in the worst times.” She grinned wryly as she wrote further, “Although I seem to recall throwing a rake at someone who tried to say that to me...and I still have,” she paused again before deciding on the word “plenty of bitterness of my own. I cannot imagine what you are going through.”

There it was. Nobody could profess to know someone else’s feelings. Could they empathize? Yes, but each and every person was entitled to feel a certain way for as long as they liked and no one else could ever say those feelings were not real or true enough.

She tore off the page and handed it to Evandria. She didn’t dare write more as her own recent tragedy brought tears to her eyes. Had it only been a year? Yes, he had also been away for the summer. And the person she’d thrown a rake at had been her Father. After a visit with the Wicks he had come back calm and tried to tell her that they could survive this. They would love her and care for her. Still we harvest. It was like he’d opened the wound all over again and she’d thrown a rake across the barn at him. She missed of course but the message she’d sent was clear. No one spoke to her about it ever again. No one really spoke to her at all, and that was how she’d preferred it.

As Evandria read her note, Cat took the moment to eat some of the rice and boiled vegetables, decidedly avoiding the chicken. That would be a bit too embarrassing to try and make work. She ate until she’d finished all but the chicken and the cut at it idly, hoping Evandria was too proper to ask why she wasn’t eating it. Of course if Cat cut it enough it would be easier to eat.

She wondered if Evandria was pleased with her company. Likely anything was better than being alone in a time like this. Nonetheless, Cat was starting to feel restless. Starting to wonder if she had said, or rather written, too much.

Of course, Cat had no misgivings about whether they would be friends or anything. Evandria was, after all, on her way to becoming someone very important and Cat would be lucky if she became a successful smith.

She wiped her mouth on her napkin and looked back at Evandria. She did not eat like this. She’d never eaten like this. The food was rich and in abundance. Even being an apprentice meant she bought her own food with her wages, and she was paid just enough for such things. He wasn’t a hateful man, Raynarus. Just pragmatic about her station. Quick to remind her that she was lucky to be here and luckier to be alive.

Cat’s gaze wandered over the room, taking in the fine furnishings, the heavy curtains, and the deeply colored rugs. Even the walls were fanciful in design. This home, this girl, it was a whole other world. One that Cat couldn’t help but feel anxious in. She recalled the book she’d read at home. The one that had opened her eyes to a gentler and more personable guide, one that equalized everyone and she wondered if Evandria read it would she agree?

Vita had often been the root belief of the farmers in Bad Aisling, her parents included. But the book had been from a scholar’s point of view. Someone who had studied the religion and knew many many things. Cat drank in the knowledge like someone thirsting in a desert drinks water. And she believed it. Something created the mona, blessed a generation of humans to converse with it, and in turn those humans rejected it and all it stood for. The galdori had given themselves their own name and worshipped other gods. Newer gods not nearly as old or as powerful as Vita. And so Cat has adopted the lifestyle quickly, had begun walking around the farm barefoot, praying in the morning as Vita caused the sun to rise and in the evening as they allowed it to set. It had given her hope.

And then her parents had all but jumped at the opportunity to ship her to Vienda. It wasn’t that she hadn’t asked to go, but rather their reaction, not of sadness that they may never see her again, but relief that they wouldn’t have to endure her bitterness hanging over them. Her Mother’s words burned inside her, “Maybe this house can be happy again.”

When she was little, Cat might have dreamed of a home like the one she sat in now. But she was a teenager. She was grown up now and she knew better than to wish for finery and riches. All she could hope for now was to stay out of trouble. And if she could make an honest living then that was a bonus.

Cat thought of something else and wrote neatly and slowly on the paper beside her. “The quiet will be hard to get used to. If you ever just want someone to talk to...although I guess I’m not much help for breaking silence...”

She smiled ruefully and took another bite of food, chewing slowly and thoughtfully.

[Evandria Sericks]

What sort of bitterness that such a good-natured girl might have? What had caused it? It was certainly no small matter. Evandria could not help wondering if it had something to do with her silence and that scar on her face. It would be impolite to probe, but the least she could offer the redheaded human was this, “Whatever it is that you have been through… I do hope it gets easier with time.”

For her own sake too. If even time could not shave away the sharp blades of sorrow, Evandria feared that she might not be able to take it. The world was quick to move on, yet the young woman was frozen in place. That night, her mother had come to her room to help decide which dress she should wear. Her father slipped her a caramel candy just before they left, a dented thing he had found in his pocket earlier. Never for a moment had she thought that it might be the last time they saw each other.

“The quiet will be hard to get used to. If you ever just want someone to talk to...although I guess I’m not much help for breaking silence...”

The girl’s words brought a smile to the Hoxian’s face. Not many people would offer such kindness to someone they just met that day. “I’ll take you up on that offer and you are welcome to stop by whenever you aren’t working.” The summer still had some days left in it and while Lorcan had promised that he would accompany her whenever he could, it seemed like having Cat as company too would be a good idea. Though admittedly, Evandria never really had human friends before.

And considering that Cat had been kind to her, the least she could do was return the favor.

“You mentioned that your master is still trying to find you a teacher,” the young woman pointed out as an idea came to her head. She tapped her spoon against the edge of the plate in thought. “One of my old tutors happen to know sign language, I could direct her to your master. I doubt she’ll refuse me.”

[Catriona Fraser]

62nd Of Roalis 2712

Cat smiled at the offer of helping to find her a tutor. The very word, tutor, just sounded galdori, sounded like something only those with a lot of money had. And hiring a tutor for any reason would be no small thing for a galdor to do for a human. Still, Cat beamed as she wrote I the notepad.
“I’d be most grateful. I know not everyone knows how to sign but if I could communicate with the people who do, it would do wonders.”
She seemed to stop, to remember her manners, and continued writing.
“But I wouldn’t want you to trouble yourself.”

As she passed the notepad she looked down at her plate and felt her stomach complaining that she might burst. She felt lethargic, as one who normally has plenty to eat would after a much larger meal than this. She leaned over and wrote again.
“I don’t believe I could eat another bite.”
She looked up at the girl grinning.