Notes of Regret

Old Rose Harbor is Anaxas' main trade port; it is also the nation's criminal headquarters, home to the Bad Brothers and Silas Hawke, King of the Underworld.
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Kit
Posts: 49
Joined: Fri Jan 04, 2019 1:03 pm
Topics: 2
Race: Galdor
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Writer: Foxing
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Mon Jul 15, 2019 2:18 pm

9th Bethas| Mid Afternoon
Delyth’s House
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E
ars pricked for any sound in the street outside her house, Delyth sat at her battered kitchen table shuffling a dogeared pack of playing cards. One booted foot tapped gently against the flagstones. No silk rose in her copper curls today, there was no need for tarting up in her own home- just a simple undyed linen blouse and supple brown leather trousers, easy to move in, hardwearing.

Her thoughts turned to the thugs that the witch had sent packing the previous day. It was almost sad how both the human and the wick had utterly discounted her when they attempted to coerce her young companion away because "Oh lass, yer 'usband misses ye so". They’d not been dissuaded with the other wick’s assurances that they had the wrong person, and when the human roughly grabbed them he’d soon discovered just how adept Delyth was at breaking noses.

That wasn’t all she’d broken, mind...

Currently, she was practicing a particular sharp's draw, shuffling the cards in a seemingly random fashion, but so that the third card drawn was always the Jack of Clubs.

Dealing two hands, she turned them face up and made a face. Not what she expected.

"...and agen…" the witch muttered to herself, starting to shuffle once more, glancing sidelong at her guest. Del had chosen her seat carefully, back to the door, facing the youth who sat, a miserable little bundle, in the wingbacked chair by the fire, nursing a mug of tea.

Shae was looking decidedly the worse for wear, and she had every sympathy for them, despite privately thinking them an over emotional wreck. The state they'd been in when they showed up at her door two nights hence had made up her mind that Kit needed a severe talking to.

Which Delyth had done. With a fist.
_____________

Leaning against the brickwork, Kit looked up at the shutters, pulled to but open just enough to let any sound in loud and clear. The afternoon sun caught the livid green and purple bruise circling his left cheekbone as he closed his eyes, flexing stiff and scabbing fingers before setting them to the strings. It was a jaunty tune, cheerful and hearty, but with a hard edge to it, and as his clear baritone voice joined the sound of his instrument he sent a silent prayer out.

...sweet Alioe, let this work...

"...Welcome to the harbour, child
Cold is Old Rose when the sea winds blow
A haven for the dispossessed,
Where all the pleasant little feuds do grow
Here our lovers they lie down
For the night
'Til passion fired their hearts are burning bright

So bright is the heart of my ebon-haired pearl
Bastian clear hear their laughter furl
Caught in the dark is my ebon-haired pearl
Torn apart from an innocent world

See, they need no fine wardrobe
No Hoxian silks or the whole double row
They stand so daring proud
Sleek as a kitten in the winter snow
Let no peer or prince from here
Or up on high
Meet ebon-hair until their hearts are burning bright

So bright is the heart of my ebon-haired pearl
Bastian clear hear their laughter furl
Caught in the dark is my ebon-haired pearl
Torn apart from an innocent world

Innocent our angel still
With stormdark eyes and a stare that could kill
Their brows like bows do stand
Straight in the heart, with no ring in the hand
Let no sacred fruit from here or up on high
Meet ebon-hair until their hearts are burning bright

So bright is the heart of my ebon-haired pearl
Bastian clear hear their laughter furl
Caught in the dark is my ebon-haired pearl
Torn apart from an innocent world
Caught in the dark is my ebon-haired pearl
Torn apart from an innocent world

So bright is the heart of my ebon-haired pearl…"




...meet me in the gutter, make the devil your friend...
word count: 703

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Shae
Posts: 46
Joined: Thu Jan 31, 2019 5:30 pm
Topics: 9
Race: Raen
: Too pretty for you
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Writer: Maximus
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Mon Jul 15, 2019 5:46 pm

Bethas 6, 2719 | Mid-Afternoon
Delyth's House
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Shae was... a mess. Well no, actually, they'd gone past mess awhile ago and into a whole new territory. Possibly into a worthless, weepy wreck. They'd sobbed, they'd moaned, they'd curled into a ball and felt very sorry for themself. They'd been having a lot of feelings over the past few days, a whole wild whirlwind. Devastation, horror, despair and dehabilitating terror. Too much had happened, far far too much for the raen to process. The situation with Kit had been... bad, no worse than bad, far, far worse than bad. It had shattered them to pieces, left them unable to think, unable to function and the youth had said and done so many terrible things. They'd helped break their own heart and then they'd crawled away and done such horrifically idiotic things. Impulsively stupid.

They'd been at their lowest point when they crawled to Delyth's house, all but throwing themself on the witch's mercy. Obviously, their life couldn't have gotten worse at that point, no siree, not when their life was in absolute shambles.

Except that it had. It had somehow gotten so much worse.

Delyth had insisted that she needed to speak to Kit about them showing up at her place and the former wick had been scared stupid. They'd wanted to stop her from telling the galdor, had begged and pleaded and even gone so far as to leave the relative safety of the redhead's home. What could they do to stop her though? They could only try to reason with her. Kit didn't want to see them. He'd never want to have anything to do with them ever again, why couldn't she understand that? Except that they'd been intercepted by two strange men, a wick and a human by what they could, and couldn't, feel.

It had been too great a shock for them to process, the strange men appearing so abruptly and saying things that made it impossible to ignore them. Impossible to see them as harmless or mere nuisances as Delyth might have believed them to be. To her, it was a case of mistaken identity. To Shae, it was that too... but only because they knew that the original soul was no longer in this body.

Mrs. Gillespie.

Peregrine had sent them. Peregrine's lackeys. They'd known that it was a possibility but that he'd actually found them. That he'd actually sent someone to retrieve them like a piece of property...

They'd just frozen, utterly paralysed with terror and horror. Too scared to move, hardly daring to breathe, they'd simply wished that it wasn't true, that it couldn't be happening. If they'd been alone then they would have been fucked, a hand set on their arm ready to lead them away. But they had the witch with them and Delyth... she was really fucking scary. Shae had known it but it was still quite something to see her in action, all their suspicions manifested in reality.

After that, Shae hadn't been too bothered about Kit or anything else. They had simply curled in on themself. They knew that Delyth had brought them back to her house, that she had asked all sorts of questions, basically interrogated the raen and hadn't told her much, certainly hadn't told her the truth... not the whole thing. After that, where the witch went or what she went had been of very little concern for the raen; it had given them a chance to bawl and panic in peace.

Today, they were drained. Their sleep had been chaotic, full of panic and fear and the sensation of being trapped. They had finally managed to drop off and Delyth had let them sleep until almost midday; they suspected that the redhead had heard their restlessness and their muffled cries in the night and early morning. Shae wasn't sure if they'd ever sleep right again, if they'd ever feel safe again. Not that they'd slept properly in days in any case. Oh they'd gotten hours of shuteye since reaching the witch's abode a couple of days before but it hadn't helped. Everything was wrong and unfamiliar and-

They missed him. They knew that missed him and they had at least an inkling of why even if they wouldn't fully acknowledge it to themself but... they missed Kit, needed him. Delyth was fair company when she wasn't being intimidating or asking too many uncomfortable questions but it wasn't the same without him. It was strange. They'd never needed someone like that before. Ever.

And of course, it was even more important that they stay as far away from him as possible, not that that would be difficult; he didn't want them near him anymore, the musician had made that abundantly clear. But if Peregrine was looking for them... Circle save them, they didn't know where they could turn. What could they do? Sweet Lady, guide them, what could they do? Should they leave the kingdom, flee Anaxas? How far could he stretch his influence? How far could he track the person that he was certain was his wife? He'd made it clear that his little broodmare was valuable but this-

Shae sat by the fire, nursing a cup of tea and brooding. Their legs were tucked under them, the skirt they'd chosen to wear still a novelty but one that was oddly pleasant. It was an item that Delyth had turned up when she'd gotten some clothes for the wayward stray and the former wick had decided that it was something that was worth trying. In the safety of the house where no one else would see them, it made sense for them to experiment with a garment they hadn't worn in years and certainly never on a body like this. They weren't sure how they felt about it yet but fashion and self-expression were hardly at the forefront of their mind.

And that was when they heard the strains of music. A little shakily played but guitar, they recognised the sound it was coming from a nearby source. It was probably one of the few things that could draw them out of their brooding, each melodious humming note eliciting something bittersweet within them. It was the sound of their old life, the one dead to them. It was the tune to their homesickness, the loss of their sense of belonging. It was the melody of their regret, each struck chord, each plucked string making them think of Kit and their own horrifically cruel words.

And then the voice. Achingly familiar. It wasn't just the tone, that depth and the clearness of the voice. It was the inflection, the accent, the-

No, it couldn't be! They'd just been thinking about him and it had conjured this in their mind, hearing what they most wanted to hear and maybe the music itself was a figment of their imagination.

"Can you hear that?" they croaked, grey-blue eyes wide and bloodshot as they looked from Delyth to the window that offered a view outside if they just moved the shutters. Gods, it sounded so like him and the words...

The dark head cocked, the gaze blank as they seemed to look beyond the confines of the house, to see through the music itself. They were held captive, the sound far too familiar, the lyrics known to them at least in part because it was what they'd heard, a work in progress when they'd uprooted themself from their safe haven.

Trembling fingers moved to set the cup down, a few hot droplets sloshing and dribbling down the sides to coat their hands and blot their blouse and skirt before they succeeded in getting it to a stable surface.

"Del... is that- You d-d-didn't- He wouldn't, not after-" the former wick moving like a marionette tugged by a puppeteer - without Shae's volition. Shaking form rising from the chair, they padded slowly as if sleepwalking across the floor, an infinite distance and yet so short at the same time. Fingers shifted the shutters slightly and Shae stepped back with a gasp, clutching their hands together as if they'd been electrocuted.

"It's Kit. It's him, I'm not- What is he- Why is he..."

They crept forward again, cautiously shifting material so they could peek out, drink in his face, the handsome features, the elegant form, the delicate fingers. Except that he was changed, damaged, features marred with a bruise that suggested that someone had punched him in the face. And his hands...

"Oh sweet Lady! Del, he's-! Who hurt him? Who did that?"

The thoughts of the men from the day before rushed to their mind, the sharp and bitter taste of bile in their mouth at the mere thought that he might have been hurt because of mere association with them. They needed to go to him.

They needed to stay away from him.

They needed him.

They needed to protect him.

They backed away, gaze wide, expression tortured as the raen shook their head, caught in indecision and yet their heart called to him, sang as readily as that voice outside, that song that was-

"Why's he singing that?" they asked bemusedly, eyes flickering shut. This was so confusing. They didn't know what to do. "I need to talk to him. I need to- I don't know what I need to do, Delyth."

The last was somewhere between a sigh and a moan, soft pale fingers shifting through dark hair.


Last edited by Shae on Thu Jul 18, 2019 4:56 pm, edited 1 time in total. word count: 1670
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Kit
Posts: 49
Joined: Fri Jan 04, 2019 1:03 pm
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Race: Galdor
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Writer: Foxing
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Thu Jul 18, 2019 2:06 pm

9th Bethas| Mid Afternoon
Delyth’s House
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Finally, Del heard it, the notes of a guitar slipping through the open window. She looked up. Attempting to judge Shae's mood, not sure if she'd be called upon to stop her diminutive companion fleeing the room once they realised who it was.

...gods, they're slow on the uptake though…

“Oes, someone busking ne doubt. Picked a fair mung spot fer it, ne footfall down this alley.”

Setting their mug down, the other wick rose in consternation.

"Del... is that- You d-d-didn't- He wouldn't, not after-"

"Who, me?" Chin in hand, the witch grinned at them as they vacillated, finally deciding to check the identity of their phantom performer.

...and three, two, one- there we go… she thought to herself as Shae recoiled from the window.

"It's Kit. It's him, I'm not- What is he- Why is he..."

"Ah, oes, he did mention somethin' about droppin' by."

Another peek through the window, another soft exclamation.

"Oh sweet Lady! Del, he's-! Who hurt him? Who did that?"

The witch coughed, but anyone not as utterly distracted as the youth pacing awkwardly around her kitchen would have noticed she was covering a laugh.

“Ne fret on his account, I’m sure he’ll let ye know, but better if he does, eh?”

“...I don't know what I need to do, Delyth."

She sighed, leaning forwards.

“If a kov’s singin’ outside of a window it’s for t’ have it heard, and he ent singin’ fer me, pet.” She fingered a long copper curl. “This look like ebony t’ye?”

Laying her cards down, Del moved across the room, picking up Shae’s comfortable chair from the fireplace. Well-used muscles shifted under her linen shirt as she set it down by the window.

“I’d say ye need to listen. And,” she added, voice kind, gently lifting the youth’s hands from their head, running soothing thumbs over pale knuckles. “Calm the clock down.”

___________________________

The song continued, Kit trying very hard not to listen to the conversation inside the house.


...meet me in the gutter, make the devil your friend...
word count: 393
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Shae
Posts: 46
Joined: Thu Jan 31, 2019 5:30 pm
Topics: 9
Race: Raen
: Too pretty for you
Character Sheet: Character Sheet
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Writer: Maximus
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Thu Jul 18, 2019 6:27 pm

Bethas 6, 2719 | Mid-Afternoon
Delyth's House
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Image
The raen wouldn't have thought it possible for more emotions to take root in their small body but somehow, they'd managed to cram in there. Admittedly, they were still brimming over with everything but there were new feelings mingled in with the ones that had been there before strumming notes slipped in through the shutters. These belonged to Kit and him alone; nothing and no one else could have elicited them in quite the same way. They were confused and elated and upset and agonised all at once, delighted to have him here and yet pained by his presence.

He shouldn't be here, not after what they'd said. Not after the venom that they'd spat so readily over nothing. Insecurity, inadequacy, their own bloody low self-esteem had done it. And... something like jealousy. Well, they honestly didn't care who it was that Kit had slept with although the notion of it being some smart galdori toffin certainly was a painful one because it only drove it home that the former wick didn't compare. They didn't own Kit so they certainly weren't jealous; they didn't have a fear of someone stealing him. In truth, they had envied Eli because he'd been just where Shae had wanted to be and they had been hurt that it hadn't been them. In all honesty, he could have picked a human or a passive, a wick or a galdor, a man, woman, neither or possibly all of the above at once and the result would have been the same: they would have been wounded to the core.

Of course they cared about him. It was why they hurt so much. It was why they were so delighted to have him here; it was why they were so worried that he was here. They weren't good for him, and they might well be dangerous to him by association. If Peregrine was seeking to retrieve them then he wouldn't have any issue with going through the musician to do so. And yet, Delyth was giving every indication that she'd invited him here or told him about everything all the same. However, the witch didn't know the truth of the matter, didn't know that more thugs were likely to come looking for the seeming Bastian. Then again, maybe she had a good idea and if she did then it was all the worse that the redhead had told him.

It was just another reason to be bewildered today. Kit's appearance after everything that had happened and the smug air about Delyth and her terrible pretence of innocence were certainly strange and confusing. However, there was nothing quite as strange as the song that the galdor had chosen to sing and the apparent person behind it. Why was he singing what sounded like a romance ballad about a black haired Bastian outside the witch's home? Was this a weird way of rubbing his little affair in? But no, that was wrong, everything about that idea was wrong, as was that knowing attitude that the copper-haired lass had donned.

Two of them in the room, Delyth making a note that her own hair clearly wasn't black and it still didn't click. It didn't occur to the raen that it was them, why would it? They were a redhead. Well... more gingery blond, hardly deserving of 'redhead' as a title and while it had been many months since that was actually true, it was a mental image of themself that they still held. Certain facts about their body were more readily apparent, undeniably different but they didn't look at their own reflection all that often, did they?

Their head bowed while their companion went to lift the comfortable chair, brows gathered together and lips pouted. If they'd been wearing less, they might have realised faster; they didn't only have hair on their head. As it was, it was only when the witch moved to take their hands that they looked up and strands of black flashed across their gaze. Shae stood frozen, blinking rapidly as the possibilities ran through their mind.

But he-

No, he'd never-

It wasn't like that, he didn't see them like that. Their relationship wasn't the sort to warrant this sort of behaviour, this sort of song and yet-

The raen flopped into the chair, marionette strings now cut; they couldn't have moved if their life depended on it. They listened.

Warmth flooded their cheeks, a crimson flush added colour to features that had been almost grey-tinged. The colour drained again, the breath quickening. The mona around them, already prone to discontent squirmed around them giving some indication of the turmoil within them before the red returned. Hot tears welled up and dropped onto warmed skin, doing nothing to cool or calm their state.

Their hair was black now and they were Bastian in appearance. It was so easy to forget. So bloody easy to forget. This identity was new to them, foreign and so of course, it had never occurred to them before. They were first embarrassed and shy at the realisation that he was singing about them and then came the sweep of pallor as they realised what they'd done.

Shae had bloody well assumed. Sweet Lady, forgive them, they'd heard him singing about a Bastian and he'd been-

The pleasure-tinged puzzlement on his face when they'd sniped at him about inspiring company suddenly loomed all too large in their memory.

Circle preserve them. He'd thought it was obvious that it was them. He'd seen them and hadn't known that the outward shell they wore wasn't what they felt like inside, not what they remembered.

"Oh gods! I thought- Oh gods! I never would have- He doesn't know that I don't- Oh gods!" they moaned, sure to be utterly incoherent to their witch companion. Distress was billowing off them now, evident in the trembling in their body that was quickly becoming a violent shudder and the moaned, hiccupped sobs. They tried to get up, desperate to go to him and yet collapsed onto their knees instead, the very way they'd love to be as they begged for his forgiveness, more than likely with their arms flung around his ankles. It took all they had to grip the chair so that they didn't slide into a boneless puddle on the floor, every cell ready to shake apart and ooze into the wood beneath them.

They needed to explain but... how could they explain? How could they allow him to make sense of it all without telling him that they were dead? There was no way he'd be singing songs for Shae then. Why was he doing now though? Why had he written it? It couldn't be an apology alone considering that he'd been writing it before they'd argued.

A whimper came from them.

"I n-n-need to talk to K-Kit," they managed, almost a whisper except that their voice cracked, pitching up wildly in volume and tone. "B-b-but I can't m-move," they admitted, reduced to fresh sobs, rawer and more pitiful.

They were pathetic. They'd been more capable as a fucking child but it really did feel like they were more likely to end up kissing the floor rather than their lover if they made any proper attempt to raise themself up. Delyth was either going to have to lift them up and practically carry them out to the galdor or he was going to have to come in.

Or they could bawl their eyes out while trying not to slip into a more piteous and humiliating position.


word count: 1348
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Kit
Posts: 49
Joined: Fri Jan 04, 2019 1:03 pm
Topics: 2
Race: Galdor
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Fri Jul 19, 2019 8:57 am

9th Bethas| Mid Afternoon
Delyth’s House
Image
Damn, but this kid was a mess.

"Hey darlin', come on now." She crouched to Shae's level, sweeping them into a gentle hug before helping them back into the comfortable chair.

"Sit tight, pet, he's comin'. Ye want for me t'stay with ye, or let ye both alone?”

There was some attempt made to answer her, but by now Shae was simply too distraught to make any sense, so Delyth simply stroked their head, sighed, and straightened to leave the room, looking back once at the door. One exit from the kitchen opened onto the street, and it was this one she stuck her head out of, calling softly to the worried galdor who leaned against the back wall of the house.

“Ye’re up, lover boy. Come on and sort out this spitch ye’ve got yesen into.”

Kit opened his eyes and pushed himself off from the bricks, ducking out of the strap of his guitar and holding it by the neck as he strode over. Passing Delyth in the doorway, he laid his free hand on the witch’s shoulder, dropping a swift kiss on her cheek with a heartfelt “Thank you,” before turning his attention to the miserable creature huddled in the chair by the window.

...oh, darling, what happened to you...how could I do this…

He straightened his tie as he set the guitar down on the kitchen table, carefully, with only the barest hint of a thunk.

Kit’s red leather jacket wasn’t the only one he owned- the man still had to dress up on occasion when a job demanded it, and this job was surely worth making an effort for. Today he wore a sharp, three-piece suit, the jacket and trousers the same clear blue as his eyes, the waistcoat a smart grey tweed. Shined shoes, combed hair… Delyth chuckled softly to herself as she set the kettle on the stove for more tea. The man was fooling no-one but himself here. And Shae of course, but that little thing was so wrapped up in their own head they barely noticed anything.
A few soft steps and he was crouching down, looking up into their tear-streaked face, one hand on the arm of the chair to keep himself stable.

He didn’t move to touch them, not yet.

...don’t know that she’ll...they’ll… want me to…

Delyth had explained a few things while he was yelling at her and she was yelling right back. Well, after her smart right hook had shocked him into shutting the fuck up and listening. Some more things made sense now- the trousers, the way they walked. The strange things they came out with on occasion. Kit couldn’t say he understood, not entirely- the golly was very solidly a man and had never considered anything else- but he could at least respect them.

“Shae?” He bit his lip, looking down for a moment, then up again to meet that smoky gaze. “Darling, I’m so sorry. I’m an erse, I always have been. Do you… do you think you can forgive me?”

A lump caught in his throat and he swallowed awkwardly.

“Can we call pax...and try...try to fix this?”


...meet me in the gutter, make the devil your friend...
word count: 590
User avatar
Shae
Posts: 46
Joined: Thu Jan 31, 2019 5:30 pm
Topics: 9
Race: Raen
: Too pretty for you
Character Sheet: Character Sheet
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Plot Notes: [url=http:/fullurl/]Plot Notes[/url]
Writer: Maximus
Contact:

Fri Jul 19, 2019 4:14 pm

Bethas 6, 2719 | Mid-Afternoon
Delyth's House
.
Image
If it hadn't been for Delyth, there would have been no chance of Shae getting off the floor anytime soon. They had the use of their arms and had some strength in them, at least sufficient enough to keep them sitting up rather than falling over, but their legs were useless. They weren't quite as bad as when they'd had the argument with Kit, exchanged those poisonous words but the raen was still quite weak and unsteady in the legs. The room wasn't spinning around them, which was a gods' send but their entire world had done enough twisting and turning and tumbling around the past few days to have affected them fairly badly. If they'd gotten physically dizzy this time as they had when they left the galdor's apartment then they would likely have simply fainted. Their body wasn't trying to chuck them out on this occasion, even if the mona were getting antsy enough to suggest that it was on the cards. No, they very firmly wanted to remain here this time. Oh there was regret but it wasn't raw and burning as it had been when their spat was in its death throes; this time, there was hope for a way to remedy things, to assuage some of the guilt that they felt and to actually properly apologise to the man now that he had evidently calmed down.

Hopeful or not, the former wick was still in a tangle of nervous emotions, largely shock and so even when they were sitting in a chair like a functional person, they still weren't able to communicate properly. Delyth was incredibly gentle and even tried to see if she should stay or not, as if Shae cared at this moment in time whether half of Old Rose traipsed into the house. If they'd had some presence of mind then they might have shooed her away, attempted to wave her off as unneeded but Shae couldn't even manage a simple hand gesture. Fingers knitted together, were wrung and fluttered nervously apart like startled birds. It didn't seem possible for them to settle, the movements almost constant and yet random, the youth too distracted and uncoordinated to know how to use them. Their mouth tried, stuttered syllables issuing out but their brain swung back around to Kit, mumbling his name instead, whimpering and sobbing.

The witch moved away and the teenager tried and failed to pull shaky legs under them, attempting to curl into themself, to tuck feet under the canopy of their skirt. As it was, the garment was in disarray, typically meant to fall past the knee but hiked up unevenly so that it came as high as mid-thigh in some places, scarlet and black fabric crumpled. They were small and fragile and vulnerable, a pretty but broken doll.

Too busy snuffling away, the raen didn't hear the exchange between the pair or the near silent laying down of the guitar. Out of it though they were, they didn't miss his field. It was achingly familiar, something that they knew so well and yet couldn't intermingle with, not capable of joining with them in the sort of intimacy that they'd shared so many times with others. It was something they'd had to get past, succeeding in being close to him in spite of the almost smothering, overpowering nature of the monic aura that pressed against them and yet around them at the same time, veritably repulsed. Being near it was never a wonderful experience but they'd been trying desperately to move the aura around them, silent prayers and desperate pleas made to the monic particles in the hopes that they'd respond just so that they could join with him.

As he came close, Shae tried it again, attempting to slip into it like sliding fingers into a glove, yearning to respond to him, to touch. Soul tendrils gripped tighter into their body, the desperation to be one with it and reach him with every fibre of their being both physical and magical making the connection stronger than it had been in days, weeks even. They were less distant from it, finding that it was more their body than Cordelia's, a skin that had simply been stolen. For all the emotions and hormones and inconveniences, in this moment, it was there. It was always theirs when they were with Kit, when he touched them, when he held them close and acted like he cared.

Maybe the particles stirred, maybe they managed to convince them to hate them just a little bit less for a few moments. Shae wasn't sure if they felt anything real or if it was just wishful thinking but there didn't seem to be any impact; he wouldn't know.

Next thing they knew, he was crouched before them, a sight to behold. Kit was so unbelievably suave. The man always looked good, devilishly handsome in a nonchalantly dishevelled way. He'd never looked the part of a galdor before but this...

Reddened eyes widened and stared, unable to believe that he was real. This man... he couldn't be here for them, couldn't be dressed like that for them, couldn't be almost on his knees before them in an attitude that was almost grovelling.

Their mouth opened, lips trembling apart, the wobble suggestive of the possible onset of fresh waves of tears.

"For-forgive you?" the youth questioned, disbelief on their face and incredulity in their cracking voice. "How can I- You bloody erse!."

The last came out as a sob, Shae pushing out of the chair with every intention of willingly spilling onto the floor this time. They were aiming to end up on his level. They'd try to sling hands around his neck but change their mind, fingers slip sliding down his chest instead to try to wrap around his waist and let their face press against his chest, to tuck their dark head under his chin.

"I'm s-s-so sorry, Kit. So s-s-sorry. I was h-h-h-horrible," they wailed, body beginning to heave anew with the force of the sobs that came from their small chest.

But if he'd forgive them, if he'd take them back, wanted to take them back as he seemed to want then they'd be so grateful.

So happy.

Oh if he'd just take them back... gosh, they'd love him forever.

... they'd love him even if he didn't take them back. There was no way that the raen could deny that. But he couldn't know. Kit would never want them ever again if he knew that they loved him.

He'd never forgive them for falling in love with him. It just made everything so unnecessarily messy.

If he'd let them then they'd do their very best to cling tightly to him, to try to squeeze him to show how much they'd missed him, how much they cared.


word count: 1220
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Kit
Posts: 49
Joined: Fri Jan 04, 2019 1:03 pm
Topics: 2
Race: Galdor
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Writer: Foxing
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Sat Jul 20, 2019 9:16 am

9th Bethas| Mid Afternoon
Delyth’s House
Image
This was all too much, he shouldn't be feeling this...much…

...why is this so damned...important… why are they…

...and then it struck him, near enough at the same time their small body collided with his chest, and he was left gasping at the enormity of it.

...no...I can’t…

He looked down at them, at the way they folded up so neatly in his arms, their fragile self, that porven, fractured field that spoke so much and yet so little of what they had been through.

His voice was soft, speaking into their ruffled hair, his arms encircling them as though they were in danger of falling apart.

“Alright, kitten, I’m here…” The sheer fact that even after everything he’d said that they wanted to be anywhere near him was a clocking miracle...

“You don’t… you don’t have to be sorry. It was all true.”

Adjusting his weight a little so he was more stable, Kit tucked his arms under Shae so that he could lift them just long enough to stand and turn, dropping into the seat that they’d occupied with them now safely in his lap.

He sighed, wedging one hand between them both so that he could reach into his jacket pocket, pulling out a crumpled handkerchief that bore in one corner, in faded blue stitches, the initials CSE. He pressed it into one of Shae’s delicate clutching hands.

“I think,” he said slowly, cheek pressed against their hair, “that we should talk about this properly... when you’re feeling better.”

His hand stroked gently up and down their trembling back, the contact comforting him just as much as it was intended to comfort Shae. “Perhaps...over dinner. There’s a place I’d like to take you. And it’s past time we got you something a little nicer to wear. Would you… would you like that?”

He tucked a finger under their chin, lifting their gaze to his.

“Only if you feel up to it, of course. And…” his voice dropped to a murmur “...that skirt looks lovely on you. I don’t think I’ve seen you in those colours before.”

...no… he reasoned with himself ...this is NOT courting behaviour. This is an apology...

...just an apology…


Delyth smiled to herself as the kettle started to boil.


...meet me in the gutter, make the devil your friend...
word count: 436
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Shae
Posts: 46
Joined: Thu Jan 31, 2019 5:30 pm
Topics: 9
Race: Raen
: Too pretty for you
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Writer: Maximus
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Mon Jul 22, 2019 5:18 am

Bethas 6, 2719 | Mid-Afternoon
Delyth's House
.
Image
It was so good to be against him, to feel his field pressing against them, to breathe in his familiar scent and just enjoy his presence. They thought they'd lost this and would never get it back, gone forever but he was here.

Their Kit was here.

Shae curled into him, sobbing and snotting all over that lovely suit - where had he pulled that from? - that he'd chosen to wear and they managed to feel some guilt about that. They might be extremely upset and overly emotional but they were calmer now, his presence soothing them. Oh they were still bawling and trembling but it actually felt like it was something that would inevitably stop and they'd feel much better in the end. They just needed to get this out of their system but it wasn't something without end. At least now the tears weren't the result of fear and grief and horror but more joy and shock. To have him here when they'd been so sure that the galdor was lost to them was certainly shocking but not unpleasant. No, this could never be a bad shock.

They sniffled hugely, ready to raise a protest that it hadn't been true, that the vile venom they'd spewed had been said because it would hurt, not because they were actually nothing. However, their airways still felt clogged, their throat sealed over so they couldn't manage to say anything before he shifted and stood, dropping back into the chair the raen had recently vacated; the man would find it pleasantly warm given how many hours they'd been occupying it.

The handkerchief was exactly what they needed, Shae blowing their nose loudly and making a face afterwards. The former wick held the soggy fabric delicately aloft, not entirely sure where to put it but knowing that they didn't particularly want to hang onto the wet cloth. They could toss it onto the floor but they didn't think that that would be a nice thing to do given that it was Kit's. Furthermore, Delyth might not be amused if they chose to dirty the floor. It's not like it was their home after all, they couldn't be throwing things around willy nilly, even if they were easy to tidy up.

They balled their fist around it and held it to their chest, snuggling against him, dark hair rubbing against his face; he didn't seem to mind.

"I feel better now," the raen admitted softly, the fingers of their free hand reaching out to test the wet patch they'd left and grimacing when they realised how much had managed to soak through. That was a fine hello.

"Sorry 'bout that," they commented, giving the spot a gentle poke.

They were more relaxed now, some of the hunch taken out of their small shoulders but the moment that he mentioned dinner, they went rigid, wide eyes tilted up towards his face.

Dinner? Get something nicer to wear? What did he-

Their blue-grey eyes considered his manner of dress and his neatened hair in a new light. Was he expecting them to go out for dinner... now? Was this the sort of standard that he expected? Their heart rate rose.

Kit was the galdor, not them, they couldn't pull off that kind of fancy, couldn't be in the sort of place that required that level of fanciness. There were places like that in Old Rose, they knew so it was possible that-

They shrank and shook their head. The prospect of being in such a place terrifying, all the more so because the sort of people who went there might be the kind who had known Cordelia. They squirmed a little, attempting to sit up.

"No, I don't think that I can- I couldn't- I can't do fancy, Kit, I'm not-"

Their gaze roved over his attire, breath hitching as panic rose.

"I don't need anything complicated. I mean, if you want to go out for food... something like the day we met would be fine with me. Unless... unless you want something fancy? If it's really something you want then o-o-of course I will," Shae stuttered out, biting their lip. They were eager to please, to give him whatever it was that he might want. Maybe he needed a fancy dinner partner, maybe that was a galdori need, how were they meant to know?

His comment about the skirt threw them off their panicked track though, a blush creeping into their blotchy cheeks. This time they bit their lip in an effort to hide a small hopeful smile but were utterly unable to hide their pleasure.

"D-d-do you like it?" they asked softly, fingers moving to stroke the fabric, the raen quite self-conscious. "I hadn't worn one in years so I thought- Well, I like the colours. I wasn't expecting anyone to see me in it though, I just thought... I'd try."

The former wick was suddenly more aware that Delyth was still there, that they were sitting in Kit's lap and being an awkward mess. She was more perceptive in some ways than Kit. Did she realise that Shae... was in love with him?

The concept was still quite novel to them and they weren't actually sure...

"What's with this?" they asked, plucking at his waistcoat. "You look fair golly in it. N-n-not that that's a bad thing, it isn't! What I said before Kit... it wasn't true."

Tears welled up in their gaze, threatening a fresh onslaught of sobs. They bowed their head, trying to gain some mastery over their emotions because if they tried to speak like this, it'd just come out in garbled sobs.


word count: 1014
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Kit
Posts: 49
Joined: Fri Jan 04, 2019 1:03 pm
Topics: 2
Race: Galdor
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Writer: Foxing
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Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:51 am

9th Bethas| Mid Afternoon
Delyth’s House
Image
Kit chuckled at their apology for sobbing on him.

"Fortunately, darling, most bodily fluids are water soluble. If you had a nosebleed I might have had trouble, but as it is-" he lowered his voice to a teasing murmur "-I think you're in the clear."

Eyebrows rose when Shae shrank away, clearly distressed by the idea of something so formal.

"Gods no, I didn't mean to...It's not about what I want, you silly gi- thing." Kit sighed, meeting their gaze, blue eyes serious. "What I want is to do something that makes you happy."
A palm cupped Shae's flushed cheek. "What would you like? Just us. Nothing to fear, no pressure, no expectations."

Their eyes lit up when he mentioned the skirt, and that little blush made him feel like perhaps…

...perhaps everything will be alright…


"I do like it. Very much. I'm glad you decided to try something different."

Shae's comment about his waistcoat brought a smile.

"If a thing is worth doing, it's worth doing well. That includes apologies for being a thoughtless ersehole and screaming at someone I care about. Manners maketh the man, and all that. Love…"
and he sighed, shaking his head, hands curling tighter around them as he shifted in the seat. "Please don't fret. It's fine, we both said… well."

...things that should have been brought up in a more rational fashion before they were left to fester…

He wasn't blind enough to pretend that he hadn't meant those things, but he had been unnecessarily cruel in his anger, and Shae clearly knew him well enough to dig the knife in and twist it. Objectively speaking, Kit could reason that there was nothing wrong with the way he chose to live his life. He wasn't hurting anyone but himself…

...unless… if I'm hurting them…

It felt so selfish, wanting to keep them near him, feel their small weight in his arms, hear their laugh, their snapping wit, see the sparkle in those stormy eyes and the wicked quirk of their brows.

Maybe if he didn't admit to them how he felt… and it had been so much easier when he didn't know himself…

...maybe it won't go to shit like it has every other time…

He realised that he was speaking again.

"I've been thinking… my place really is too small for two people…"


...what am I doing…

"How would you like to find somewhere new? Somewhere that suits both of us?"


...meet me in the gutter, make the devil your friend...
word count: 469
User avatar
Shae
Posts: 46
Joined: Thu Jan 31, 2019 5:30 pm
Topics: 9
Race: Raen
: Too pretty for you
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Writer: Maximus
Contact:

Wed Aug 14, 2019 5:48 pm

Bethas 6, 2719 | Mid-Afternoon
Delyth's House
.
Image
The raen pulled a face at the mention of most bodily fluids being water soluble. Having scrubbed clothing coated in all manner of things, they were inclined to point out that water soluble didn't always mean that such things couldn't be bloody stubborn. Instead, they murmured, "Blood is okay if you know how to deal with it - and get it early."

It was a very nonchalant remark, the tone quite matter-of-fact because to them, it was a very basic thing. Oh it was more likely that people would end up with bloody clothing in Old Rose but that didn't mean that the capital was free of such things. Furthermore, there were so many different ways that the vital fluid could end up standing something and as a seamster who'd had to clean and repair clothing, as well as making some of it from scratch, it was something that Shae had dealt with many a time. All the same, he had a point about the tears and mucus; it could be washed out so there was no harm done really. At least they'd managed to air their emotions and it was especially necessary if they were going to be able to talk to him. They both needed to be mature and have a conversation about... things.

Not that it was a thing for Kit, although it was apparently a thing for them. Feelings definitely made this a thing, at least for the raen.

Caught up in their confused state of mind and newly discovered emotions, they almost missed the way he cut off his choice of word to go with something more neutral. He'd stopped himself from calling them a girl. Grey-blue eyes gazed wonderingly at him as they tried to determine why he'd done that. Did he know? He certainly hadn't known before so... what had changed? Had Delyth said something to him? It seemed unimaginable that he'd have worked it out on his own, especially as the former wick had never said anything on the subject, never given him a proper indication. Besides, galdori didn't think about gender like that, not as something fluid and slippery and sometimes difficult to define. For them, things were rigid and orderly. They couldn't imagine being trapped by it although they had been constrained for many years because of such rules, the need to fit in making it necessary.

That the man wanted them to be happy, to do something that made them happy threw them after the talk of dinner. Why would going out for dinner make them happy? It also seemed a far cry from the fanciness that they'd anticipated, the special occasion that his dress had seemed to imply. They chewed their lip in thought. No pressure, no expectations, just them.

Why did he even have to ask? Hadn't he said enough already? Couldn't they simply be content together? However, it probably didn't seem as if such a simple thing could be a pleasure in his eyes. He didn't have the same feelings as they did, wouldn't gain satisfaction and pure euphoria from merely being close to the seeming Bastian. But then they didn't know. His actions and words were confusing, seeming to suggest something that certainly couldn't be possible. There was no way that he loved them back and yet he said that he cared and he'd evidently gone to a great deal of effort.

He'd written a song about them.

What on Vita was Shae meant to make of that? Talk about mixed signals although to be fair, that described their relationship quite well. Neither of them ever knew what the other was thinking, not really. Shame that the raen couldn't afford to change that; they had too many secrets that they needed to keep, too many things that couldn't be partially explained without unravelling them and potentially bringing about their end.

"I just... I just want to go home. I mean..." they stammered out, going pink. They'd called Kit's apartment home. It was the only home that they had known since they'd died and come back. It was the place that they'd felt safe, where they'd had protection and shelter... love. Of course, it was home. It was just strange to say it aloud, to admit it to him given how close they'd come to losing it. "I just want to go back to your place. I don't want to go out for dinner or anything, Kit. I just want to go back. We can talk and patch things properly. And yes, I do mean talk. I don't... It's not like it happens often but... I don't want to lose my temper again so... I want to talk things through 'fore I end up screaming lies at you again," the teenager admitted, chin raising a little, voice more confident than before in spite of how they struggled to get words out. There was firmness here, determination.

His next words were very unexpected though.

"Too small? What sort of chroveshit- Kit, it's not small for two people. Myself and my mother had about the same amount of space and it's not like we shared a bed or anything and I used to be big- I took up more space before."

They'd almost said that they'd been bigger and they had been, more breadth and plenty more height; they'd lost a whole foot in death. Not that Kit knew that and it was just one more careless slip of the tongue that would have been bloody difficult to explain.

They found themself glancing towards Delyth, incredulity on their pretty features, wondering if it sounded as strange to the witch as it did to them. "Do you think it's too small? You know I don't want to be a nuisance, Kit but if you want me to... I don't know, make myself scarce more often... I can do that."

Anything to make the man happy. If he said that he'd rather that they never came back- Well, he was never going to say that but if he wanted it, they'd do it. It didn't matter what they had to sacrifice in order to achieve it because they'd do anything to please him. It didn't stop them from squirming a little within his grasp, gaze sliding away from his as they tried to work out what he was really saying. Was this about what had happened? Their argument? Or was it something else?


word count: 1150
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